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Looking For Ideal Partner? : Start With YOU

So many of us think that our ideal mate is out there somewhere…if we could only find him/her. We do dating sites, meet up groups, social media, even re-visit former relationships! We think somehow, some way we will find that perfect someone who will be the Prince to our inner Cinderella ! We walk around cloaked in our illusion that the missing pieces, the unfulfilled parts of ourselves, and the answer to our yearnings will be magically manifested in Prince or Princess Charming. The truth is until we cultivate an intimate relationship with ourself, we will miss that connection we so crave. A lonely person who enters a relationship is a lonely person in a relationship. A person denying intimacy with themselves will not have an intimate relationship with another. You may think intimacy is having sex. No. True intimacy has these juicy components: vulnerability- trust-honesty-acceptance-validation. Before delving further, ask yourself do you trust yourself to make good decisions? Do you accept and love the good- bad- beautiful-ugly- the shadow and light sides of yourself? Do you validate yourself on a regular basis? Are you honest about who you really are in those quiet moments when alone and not distracted? Can you be vulnerable with yourself by expressing and exposing your feelings, saying what you want or need, being present without needing to distract yourself? These reflective questions will provide starting points for inner work.

When we know who we really are , we are comfortable in our own skin. When that happens we can be intimate with just about anyone. We do not need to find someone to fix our broken pieces because we are not broken! We do not need to find a broken counter person because they are not broken either! It is never about THEM anyway…it is about our self love, self honoring, self validation, and having a love affair with the guy or chick we see looking back at us in the mirror. After all, every relationship is just a reflection of who we are.

Where to begin————commitment and intention to do inner work

  1. Take a deep breath. Look in a mirror straight into your eyes. Introduce yourself to you. 2. Begin listening to yourself..your self talk, your feelings, etc. Do this over time, and it becomes a practice. 3. Take responsibility for your choices. This is major! Start by making a choice to be happy instead of needing to be right! 4.Start practicing those things that feed your soul, that make you feel good. You might want to write out those things. This is Self-care! 5. Put pauses throughout your day every day. This free time with yourself offers times to check in, to connect, to find gratitude and peaceful, happy occurrences. Remember the phrase Stop and smell the coffee? 6. Surrender the inner critic within. Life is not meant to be a race or a test. 7. Do things that give you PLEASURE: physical, emotional, spiritual, mental. 8. Be gentle with yourself. This inner work takes time, but it is so worth it!

Self intimacy is a gateway, a portal to harmonious, safe, and fulfilling relationships with others. Imagine a world of people so comfortable in skins that they actually enjoy each other’s company!

This idea came to me in a reflective meditation once. Feel free to borrow it. “When I allow you and myself to be who we each need to be in the present moment, I have no need to judge you or want to change you to fit my preconceived agenda.It really is about love and more love!

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Honoring Ourselves By Creating Our Unique Holiday Traditions

     It is my heartfelt belief we each deserve to celebrate this time of year in the way that reflects who we are in the present. That means celebrating, choosing to be alone, celebrating with family or friends, celebrating with spiritual groups, or not celebrating.
     Being a creative spirit who marches to the beat of her own drum, several years ago it occurred to me that my true self did not require the past holiday traditions of my culture or family of origin. I decided it would be a self loving act to create my own unique holiday traditions. To determine what would work for me, I asked myself some questions.
– Were there any childhood holiday traditions memories that stood out as happy thoughts?
– What did I want to include in my new traditions?
– Did I want to include others or just include myself?
     It became crystal clear I no longer chose to be trapped emotionally in the stigma of the holiday traditions of others. After all, I do not live my current life based on the way others live theirs, so why would I choose to experience the holiday season with the traditions of anyone else? Of course, if I wanted to do what others were doing, that would be appropriate, too!
     So, here is what I created:
     1. Because I am so connected to nature, I went into the woods and requested the elementals and nature beings  to help me honor them. I was gifted with pine boughs and pine cones, holly and red berries, and a small log. I added candles around these treasures, creating an holiday altar on my hearth.
    2. Each morning during December I dedicate time, compassion, and food to the animals I co-exist with in my wooded residence.
    3. Each night I made a commitment to sit in front of the fireplace and write in my journal , honoring the Fire Element, by expressing the things and ideas that ignite me that I am passionate about. I also offered thanks to each aspect of what/who is present in my life , gathered all that love into my heart, and sent it out into the world to all beings.
    4. Lastly, I made a decision to take  myself to a Winter Solstice Celebration with like hearted people.
     Reclaiming our holiday by creating our original, unique traditions and rituals  can be a loving way to avoid stress of old memories that do not muster peace, and is a gift to both our inner children and adult presence.

 

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The Importance of Listening And Cooperating With Our Inner Messages

For a few years I have known in my heart and mind that we hold all our own answers within. We receive continuous messages from our intuition, our cells, our organs, every part of us. The Ancient Ones in past civilizations and cultures knew this crucial fact, and taught this sacred knowledge to all. We have often forgotten.

I consider myself healthy in my diet, my exercise regiment, and my daily spiritual practices. Recently I became quite ill and could not tolerate much of anything solid in the form of food. I am a Reiki Master, Sound Healing Practitioner, Daily Meditator, and practice Ancient Shamanic modalities. Of course I offered my body,mind, and spirit my own practices and reached out to other healing facilitators I have trust in. I also received unsolicited  and unhelpful advice and suggestions as to why I was sick.

I incorporate and welcome Western Medicine with Alternative  Medicine . My illness began two months ago and gradually progressed in a downward spiral. I went to my Integrative Medicine Doctor who suggested diagnostic tests, and , as always, he honored the fact I listen to my own body and intuition.

My body was telling me it was my time to come to a resting place, to receive instead of my usual M.O. of giving  help to others and holding Sacred Space for the Collective in our time of world chaos. As if I had a choice, and it became clear I did not, I stopped my activities. My body became weaker each day. I lived for close to a month on green juice, water, and broth. I did have a C-T scan, bloodwork, and an endoscopy. Most of the tests showed nothing was wrong with me. I listened without judgement but was weak. My body slept 10-11 hours a night. I experienced incredible Dreamtime each night, and even slept and dreamed during the day. I did finally receive a medical diagnosis of an abdominal, curable condition.

Through this experience I was not afraid, but at times was frustrated ; however, I continued listening to my dreams, my inner messages, and welcomed the support of my large tribe of friends and loved ones.

The messages of the Ancient Ones kept telling me to honor the change from Summer into Autumn, to be like the Wise trees that serve as my protection and guardians on the incredible property on which I live. I felt, just like the strong oaks, willows, and pines I was shifting in my beliefs, perceptions, and energies. When we allow ourselves to let go of trying to figure out logically what has no logical answers, and to trust the  Ancient Teachings ,Wisdom of Nature ,and Natural Laws to unfold, incredible events come to pass. Our world has changed and those who try to use prior ways to work through current situations just may discover those ways are now archaic, and no longer valid. Using the old ways will bring more fear, more anger, and more frustration. We must be willing to embrace a new paradigm if we are to live in peace and harmony today.

As I recently have begun able to eat food again, and returned to a gentle yoga practice, I see the necessity of this illness. I wonder maybe sometime img_3852 I asked for clarity, for inner answers to questions I did not consciously know to ask. I am grateful for the sickness that brought me to a screeching halt for it came with great gifts and blessings of surrender, of detoxification, of deeper trust and faith. I did release a couple of people I thought were supportive friends  during the short illness when I discovered they really were not supportive at all. My vibrational level has changed…theirs had stayed back in the past. I do not judge their path. Those relationships, too, have been part of my Autumn clearing and awakening.

Each experience I am blessed to witness continues to be an opportunity, a catalyst of ascension toward a new world, for we who have awakened, and to those gradually joining us. Sometimes we just have to stop and let natural cleansing lift us out of our old skins, and into a new sense of wonder. It does require mustering courage to be vulnerable enough to be transformed into a better version of ourselves. I often do not see the Warrior I was born to be for the purpose of sharing my experiences.. to lead another soul out of their own shadows..until I finally find the hidden doorknobs and walk into a brighter light. We are in this together, my friends. Let’s not give up just yet.

 

The Practice of Quietude

I am sure I came into this world with the heart knowledge that Nature teaches each of us a better way to live life. I have voiced many times Ancient civilizations taught how sacred the beauty of living based on changing moon cycles, seasons of the year, solstices, and equinoxes can inspire and motivate us to exist authentically.

I grew up in the fifties in a house where our evening meal was accompanied by the television blaring the nightly news. The television was on until way past my bedtime. If it wasn’t the tv, it was the radio. I loved when I was outside and the only noise were chirping crickets, flowing water of the nearby creek, birds singing, and the language of pines , oaks, and mimosas creaking their presence.

Gradually I succumbed to joining in with loud school cafeteria noise as each kid tried to talk simultaneously, recesses of screaming games and sports events. My compromised actions that went against my inner value of quietude continued as I aged into adulthood. I turned up loud rock ‘n roll music at home and in my car. I had joined the masses in trying to drown out inner thoughts and subconscious ideas of parents, teachers, and numerous other voices…and most of all I drowned out the inner wise person within .

I cannot state exactly when I stopped turning on the radio the minute I got in my car or the tv as soon as I got home. I do know when I made the choice of sacred silence over constant noise is the day I experienced peaceful solitude and I began changing.

The year of 2020 when the world changed was a wake up call for many . As the world slowed to a halt, noise also slowed. Those who had not listened to nature and silence very often before received a magnificent gift …sacred quietude. Some who had practiced meditation knew the benefits of silent inner reflection but even they only tuned in for brief segments of time.

One day during the time the world changed, in my own meditation ,my inner voice requested I begin a Stillness Practice. It is normal for my true rebellious self to question new ideas, but this time I immediately put into action Quietude of Stillness. The result was one ,if not the greatest ,gifts of my lifetime. Now I wish to share with you I have been meditating since my late twenties but this Quietude Stillness was different.

I was born with strong gifts of intuition and psychic skills but this new practice opened a new world to me which I now call Inner Sound and Light. My life has transformed in new ways and my connection with Nature has expanded, as a result. I have surrendered people, situations, old goals and traded those releases for a new, better version of myself. Colors are brighter. Light follows me wherever I go. Silence has become part of me.

I am not saying this Quietude Practice will work for you, but you just may want to check it out. As I see it, all we each have to lose is bombardment of Noise. It does take a bit of willingness and courage to try things we are sure will not work for us, but maybe you are a Rebel of Revolutionary Change too!

How Vulnerability Became My SuperPower

Photo by Rachel Claire on Pexels.com

When I was younger and even in adulthood I was an aggressive doormat. I either adamantly verbalized I was not going to go along with what was demanded of me by those I put in authoritarian roles or I cowered and became a person who did not stand up for herself and voice what she wanted and needed.

I looked at vulnerability as a weakness and a scary personality trait. I was afraid if I owned my inner power and actually said aloud what I was thinking and feeling people would have power over me. The irony of this was by not being vulnerable and not speaking up with inner strength and fortitude I was wrapped in a sandwich of misplaced kindness and sweetness… I was being wimpy . I would smile a fake happy face when inside I wanted to speak my truth which was just the opposite of the person I was presenting to another. Through a series of experiences I slowly began to realize if I was going to be the best version of myself it was necessary I went out on the edge of proverbial cliffs again and again with people in all settings…my family of origin, teachers, friends, clients, co-workers, partners, and strangers. To become vulnerable was to come from a place deep inside of me..from my very bones that were my foundational core. I have long believed practice makes progress so I began to practice . I took the risk to ask for what I needed . It is so much easier many of us believe that when we are carrying around layers of emotional pain that can get triggered by some unrelated situation it is better to pretend we are not afraid , to put a cushion of protection around us by shutting down and not even speaking. This only creates a new layer of pain on top of what we have not resolved maybe since childhood. Once I was willing to be transparent I could expose my feelings and voice what I wanted. My throat seemed to have been given a key to unlock the silence and actually communicate what I was really thinking. This key was created from the Power of Intention! Once I started being vulnerable although at first it felt creepy inside, I felt alive! I became vulnerable with the people I grew up with: my family of origin. I became vulnerable with co-workers and supervisors. I became vulnerable with friends. I became vulnerable with strangers. I became vulnerable in the bedroom with my partner.

I learned that being vulnerable in all relationships was not only being fair to myself. It was being fair to the other person too! Showing especially my partner who I really am not withholding my truth …sharing my thoughts, feelings, challenges, and what I considered to be weaknesses without sugarcoating them enabled my partner to know who I really am. Once I could do that, I expanded this to friends, and even to strangers. After practicing vulnerability for a while I made a big decision. I wanted to be the same with all people. I no longer chose to play a different role with different people in various settings. The magical element in all this was I became INTEGRATED , whole, and demonstrated a large degree of real intimacy. I had become willing to walk into the emotional risks that happen when a person becomes willing through vulnerable transparency to love unconditionally and to receive love.

If we each desire to find a way to cradle our authenticity, connections with others , and to truly love, being vulnerable is the path. As a result of allowing Vulnerability to be my SuperPower I have more confidence to walk through challenges that show up. I am able to embrace and live out of true intimacy ; thus, having stronger and healthier relationships. I enjoy a greater acceptance of all parts of myself: the good, the dark, the crazy, the wild woman.

My old fear of being rejected and abandoned still lives deep within me but because I wear a Heart of Vulnerability daily I no longer have to hide from myself . If I do get triggered, I know what to do. I can be present and free to be the amazing person I always wanted to be . If I can do this, I have no doubt that you can choose too to learn to love and accept your complete authentic self. When we get to know who we really are and embrace the wonder of that knowledge, it will be much easier to walk away from anyone incapable of respecting us and we will see a new tribe of like hearted people showing up who only want to treat us with genuine love and support.

Life Is Not A Test

I keep reading in various places and hearing some say life is a test. I can only gather, and I am guessing, these are people spouting a concept foreign to me, that the changes brought about since 2020 are testing the world; and, probably most of their lifetime many felt tested by life’s challenges.

I, the eternal realistic optimist and visionary , see the origin of their illusions most likely was created and perpetuated from the old paradigm that persuaded many to believe in order to show evidence of being successful a person each had to state a specific intended accomplishment laced with goals and work like a dog to see the accomplishment manifest. Then the person could stand on their laurels of their pumped up podium believing success had been demonstrated!

Instead of seeing life as a test, why not view our experiences presented in our respective lives as opportunities to embrace each occurrence as part of our journey? So much of not just the culture of the USA , but also of other countries , have the collective mindset that winning the race to a destination is evidence of successful performance.

Many of my most significant awakenings have been through experiences that did not turn out as my preconceived ideas thought they would! It was these situations as I often trudged up the rungs of the ladder of my life that enabled me to receive courage, perseverance, and dare I say, stability , as life transformed what seemed failures into character building opportunities! Changes and endings in relationships, detours in career, and even times I gained weight …all were portals to new avenues and adventures of consciousness I would never have chosen!

Embracing failed attempts of hopeful successes as a pathway of transition is my evidence life is not a pass/fail test, but a journey of never ending possibilities! I am glad I did not give up during those times a curve ball I did not even see coming hit me between my eyes! I may have been briefly knocked down but was never knocked out. The times I viewed situations as failures were only building blocks for future experiences that were creating my life as a proverbial cliff jumper, often not knowing if I would survive the fall following each jump, but fueled by my internal adrenaline rushes that I had to jump one more time….and jump I did and will continue.

Creational Birthing

As we adjust to our world beginning to crack open to a wider abyss, I have been reflecting on my life prior to March, 2020. I was into my busier life including working, meditating, visiting art galleries and museums, freely traveling, meeting up with friends and family. I am sure there was more I was running hither and fro, believing I could do pretty much as I pleased. I was functioning on the premise I loved my busy times as much as the stillness ones. I have come to embrace the idea that I cannot see the negative without experiencing the positive, the shadows without seeing the light, and the busy-ness without the coming to a rapid halting.

As I sit in the seventh month of 2021 I have asked myself a few pertinent questions. Was the portal of change that out of seemingly no where opened into a global twilight zone really a bad thing? Do I really choose to return to that busy manner of living or will my relationships with myself, nature, and others prosper to a higher vibrational level if I seek a quieter structure in most of my activities?

Do I really need the fast paced way of flowing to manifest my creative visions? If I find , and I think I have, a new paradigm that aligns deeper with who I have become to achieve my desires;and, how do I respond differently when so many are already returning to the world of go-go filling every minute with distractingly busy routines? What is now feeding my motivations and how do I flow like a quiet brook instead of like the rushing river I had become part of?
I really feel I have stepped into Creational Birthing of a revised ME , a me with altered perspectives and organic harmony. If all this is valid and the direction I like , how do I live this way without being triggered by those who want to return to the prior hurry up and get it done life? Can I co-exist with them and not get caught up in conformity even though I don’t want to! It seems it is quite easy to glide back to our past , backsliding into the old ways.

My solution has come once again been reinforced in learning from nature as I awaken just a bit more! I was beginning over time to comprehend this ancient teaching, but it took for me when the world shut down and stopped to totally unite with Nature. Becoming One with Nature showed me how to mirror the changes of each passing season, and the more I have allowed myself to blossom into a calmer , still person, the easier it has become to accept those who continue struggling with resistance and their continued need to do life as close to the way it was before the world changed.

Yes, I choose the slower pace, and if you do not, I am sure I can co-exist with you…and not have a need to convince you to like or even live differently. My Creational Birthing is taking me down a smooth canal of regeneration; and, I can only give credit to a pandemic that changed the whole planet. What is most amazing to me is though I thought for many years I was a go with the flow person only to discover I still was falling into a shallow ditch of conformity at times. The best awareness that has grabbed my attention is the elimination of wanting anyone to conform to my chosen way to believe or live. Freedom, I tell you, can still hide from us until we can wake up from the illusion. It takes what it takes.


Finding Divine Love

As the world moves closer to opening up more following a period in time of complete change, I continue to witness divisions among the collective wearing cloaks of rebellion and confusion. There are ,however ,those among my tribe who seem to have surrendered and traded their questions of humanity’s future for a new wardrobe of true compassion. Hoping to embrace unconditional love and genuine respect for my fellow brothers and sisters, I have been observing and reflecting on how I can be the best version of myself in thought and actions. I believe deeply my answer is the practice of Divine Love.

I know my desire and need to be respected never is about what ”they” think about me. It is not about wearing a mask covering my mouth or whether I decide to take or not take a shot. It is about looking within for my self love and self respect, choosing to have my inner masks removed …which only is possible when I get gut level real with myself . I choose to take the inner dive deeper than ever before. In doing so I can either hide like a scared rabbit or be openly vulnerable and risk to make decisions based on not what others believe..but on what I claim and honor for myself. I do not need to push my beliefs on you and for me..I choose to respect your choices in the ever changing world.

The more I set intentions and align with my personal values the more self respect and Divine Love I get to experience. As I practice this way of living my life a few things manifest. I see myself releasing those who are unkind, disrespectful, and emotionally unavailable to me because I am giving myself those very things. I used to hang on to relationships of all kinds because I had history with the people involved. Now it is not that I dislike these past associations but the Universe is showing me the more self respectful I am, the more I attract and choose to nurture relationships that are filled with unconditional loving and respectful people.
I have no need to expend my valuable time and energy hoping others will change to treat me with equal Divine Love. I truly accept them each as they are choosing to be, and keep finding that Love and Respect within that I once thought existed outside of myself . The search is always found by an honest looking within.

I believe we need Unity, not Separation. After all, is that not what real not false illusions, of love about

Change Is The Constant We Cannot Control

For most people change is the monster under the bed that is terrifying. No matter how hard we try to control our environment, our life, our world… change is inevitable. I believe we resist change because we have such a strong attachment to the familiar. Even when we know the familiar is not working, we engage our proverbial claws deeply into our personal familiar. Why? We are uncomfortable with the unknown! We fear we will not be able to manipulate and control the new, the different, the transition….and we are correct. What we can do is to embrace the ever unfolding steps and moments change presents. Some see change as a challenge. I who have been a proverbial cliff jumper of seeing change as an exhilarating opportunity look for the silver lining of change!

I can assure you my personal changes at times are not met with beaming gratitude initially. However, because I am a pretty fast processor of the new, the unfamiliar, being receptive to the visions I dare to dream manifesting, and the opening of creative opportunities the Universe presents, I have made a choice to partner with change. It is a possibility we each can practice!

Ways to effectively cope with change that tiptoes into our life or that seems to pounce upon us like a fire breathing predator, especially in a world that continues to be altering our set expectations may include

  • Focusing and reflecting upon what is primarily important rather than aligning with our paralyzing fears may empower our coping mechanisms, such as observing the beauty of nature, our close connections with our tribe and loved ones, and embracing our passions . In doing so we create an atmosphere of positive distractions from our projected fearful apparitions.
  • Ask your fears and perceived challenges over the changes you are experiencing what opportunity and hurdles the changes came to teach you! It could be to claim new adaptation techniques and increased courage and determination in honoring and loving your warrior within! With each new episode of walking through a challenge never experienced previously we have evidence of how resilient and capable we really can be!
  • Inventory honestly your thoughts during and after the change passes. Do you make up a story you keep mindfully re-constructing about what is the worst that can happen or do you stay in the present moment watching each step unfold? Do you react or do you respond ?
    Take a walk, inhale/exhale, and become willing to be present for another instead of constant talking and chattering about the awfulness that things are not as they always have been. Often by gathering an attitude of gratitude we are more able to see the good that has come out of taking the dive into unfamiliar territory.

We cannot stop life from changing . We can surrender the ways we have always used in attempts to control and resist reality. Once you find what works for you , why not freely and unselfishly share it with another? That ,dear reader , is an expected gift of not giving up before a miracle happens….a miracle of awakening to see an amazing part of yourself you never knew was waiting to be revealed!

How Consistently Inconsistent We Can Be

I used to believe I needed help in determining which imperfect flaws of my personality I wanted to work on to walk closer to being the best version of myself. Then a light bulb came on! All I have to do is to be aware of those character flaws that bug me about others! You spot it>you got it! This week I have noticed the inconsistency of friends, associates, spiritual people, conspiracy spouters, parents of children, owners of pets, and more. I have learned to ask myself if this bugs me in others where am I demonstrating the same flaw? More often than not in me it is well hidden or I like to believe it is! Then there is my illusive and sneaky shadow self that I really love but that I try to hide from everyone else and even at times from myself! The flaw of the week: Inconsistency.

Just what is inconsistency and how is it demonstrated? It is not being consistent in actions. It is when we are not the same all the time…when we modify our actions and behaviors according to who we are with and what the situation is. It is when we make promises we do not keep. It is when we say of course I will do as I say I will, but we allow other priorities to creep in…even distractions! It is when we know inwardly the right thing to do according to our values but we either succumb to primal desires or conveniently think we can get away with ignoring what really matters to us. If we were to set intentions and actually follow through with them we would be consistent in our actions. Maybe consistency has something to do with self discipline. Consistency makes demands on us! I am asking myself these questions to get down to the nitty gritty of how consistent I am or am not:

  • Do my actions show I am congruent with my principles and values? First I have to know what my principles and values actually are. When I do not consistently align my behaviors and actions with my values, my self created standards, my inner guides for living…I will give a clear and loud message that I am not real, not showing integrity and truth in my personal and business relationships. In other words I am showing up as a fake person….a favorite description of others whom I so often judge to not being real.
  • Do I treat everyone with the same attitude, respect, compassion that I want them to treat me? If I treat one group of people one way and another group a different way, what does that inconsistency reveal about me?
  • Do I keep and maintain my truth , my integrity, my words as well as my actions, even when things get challenging? Do I have an unspoken rule that this is perfectly fine to do because it is a rationalization and excuse I convince myself of? What does this inconsistent behavior show others ? Can I be counted upon through thick and thin or am I teaching others when the going gets tough, I am consistently going to let others down?
  • Do I carry a belief that my priorities carry my personal entitlement to change based on my mood, my self centered wants/needs, or my demands of personal pleasure in the moment? Perhaps I am giving out the message my priorities matter more than my relationships and/or my willingness to follow through and deliver as I said I would.

The bottom line, as I see it, is when we do not cave and make a change in our actions in the middle of a crisis such as the world drastically changing from what it previously looked like, when we feel under pressure due to being judged, criticized, or threatened, or when the circumstances we are faced with do not affect us to the point we change our behaviors….then we can honestly say we are being consistent.

Being consistently consistent can become a targeted goal and intention or does it even matter? In my mind it matters only because I want to be the best version of myself that I can be ; I believe I teach people how to treat me: and, I sincerely want to show others and myself I can be counted upon by being responsible. It is not so much what I say but what my behaviors and actions show. My shadow self can spout glowing platitudes of incredible wisdom 24/7 but if I am not practicing what my Wise Being Within knows is right for me, I will be in conflict with my values….thus creating that restless feeling of being uncomfortable in my own skin. For the moment , yes I admit I am consistently inconsistent in a few areas of my life. At times I am content with these imperfections and other times I know I can do better.

Reclaiming Our Personal Authority

More now than ever it is crucial we each identify and claim what our personal truths are.

Carl Jung wrote: “ The most intense conflicts, if overcome leave behind a sense of security and calm that is not easily disturbed.”

When we separate from our instinctual wisdom and inner guidance , is it not evidence of the desire to gain approval and acknowledgment from others that we are living our life according to the beliefs and values of them? When we stop or never even begin to act out of our own authority perhaps we have allowed “THEM “ to determine who we really are, what choices and decisions we are choosing, and co-creating inner conflicts that somewhere deep within opposes our conscious truths.

I believe NOW is the time to reclaim our own authority—to stop compromising our individual values, to halt our allowance we freely have given social medias, religious dogma, political affiliations of all sides, friends, acquaintances, relatives, and even partners what our internal instinctual barometers tell us is in opposition to what we know is true. When we own our authority and live in our personal Power, we will be more apt to say no more to the illusive fears of being disapproved, criticized, and shamed. We open our unique portal to standing firm and tall aligning with only our truths as we present ourselves to the Universe showing the Powerful beings we really have evolved into!

Ready to release your shackles of the inner conflict and suffering? As I see it, we each are in possession of the key to free ourselves from our self imposed imprisonment of allowing a person and/ or controlling entity to tell us what to do, believe, and trust. It is our choice and option to live the life we want to live or to hand over the reins of that decision to others.

Instead of standing in disharmony against a pushy, threatening opposition, reclaim your personal authority and stand FOR being the best version of yourself—the one who shapes your own personal freedom and destiny with confidence and Right Relationship within!

Pandemic : A Sea of Triggers Calling For Consistent Self Care

Survivors of narcissistic relationships, childhood trauma, dysfunctional partnerships or family of origin, controlling parents or bosses, participation in any past emotional or physical battles, and numerous other experiences may have discovered since the world changed bringing the increased stress of the yet to end Pandemic that past triggers have once again raised their insidious heads. Many who had done so much inner work to find their triggers successfully managed in the past yet once again may be feeling a sense of overwhelming shame or despair.

Triggers are physical and/or emotional imprints that can re-emerge when certain smells, sounds, feelings, or tastes are experienced. These triggers are those feelings of being uncomfortable in our own skin which may include situations we would rather not revisit triggering emotional and even physical responses in our body including: betrayal, feeling unheard or ignored, feeling abandoned, feeling shamed, powerlessness, feeling judged, feeling someone is controlling you, feeling someone trying to smother you out of their neediness, feeling alone without any support, someone coming onto you inappropriately or sexually, or someone being too busy to make time for you.

Instead of healing from our emotional triggers we may employ distraction or avoidance techniques that never really worked such as getting angry, acting needy, blaming someone for our pain, using an addiction ( alcohol, drugs, sex, food, etc.), emotionally shutting down, or become overly controlling.

If we knew and remembered our triggers are a gateway and portal to our authenticity, we would affirm they jumped back into our experiences to inform us about ourselves and areas within where we need to heal.
Having a toolbox of self caring solutions is crucial, especially living in such a changed and tipsy-turvy world that feels out of control.

Some helpful strategies:

*Feel the trigger in your body. Our body is our friend and barometer. It never lies to us! Simply observe when triggers appear. * Begin inventorying and ask “ Why am I reacting? What is up with me?” We sometimes want to attack another emotionally or even physically for words or actions that triggered us but that does not help us heal. It only disrespects and causes tensions with another. * Spend time with yourself solo . If you feel degraded or shamed, ask what you are needing in the moment. If you are feeling afraid, ask what are you afraid of and is this fear real? How in this moment can you partner with yourself and become your own Mother and Father to look at the situation with a different perspective.

More Self Care Ideas

*Deep breathing with exhalation *Sing loudly *Dance *Go for a walk in nature *Journal * Run through grass barefoot * Exercise or do yoga * Text or call a friend
*Work with a personal coach to learn how to re-program old and recycled triggers

Write a safety plan and keep it available to yourself! I am a huge fan of sticky notes that I place on walls and mirrors. Self care is self love and we each deserve as much love as we can muster!

Excellent self care apps to check out:

*Happify *Brain.fm *Headspace *Pacifica *Worry Watch *Insight Timer *Jour *Mend *Shine *#SelfCare *I am *Aloe Bud *Sanity&Self *Joy *Sparkle

Remember we are in this thing called life together!