Honoring Ourselves By Creating Our Unique Holiday Traditions

     It is my heartfelt belief we each deserve to celebrate this time of year in the way that reflects who we are in the present. That means celebrating, choosing to be alone, celebrating with family or friends, celebrating with spiritual groups, or not celebrating.
     Being a creative spirit who marches to the beat of her own drum, several years ago it occurred to me that my true self did not require the past holiday traditions of my culture or family of origin. I decided it would be a self loving act to create my own unique holiday traditions. To determine what would work for me, I asked myself some questions.
– Were there any childhood holiday traditions memories that stood out as happy thoughts?
– What did I want to include in my new traditions?
– Did I want to include others or just include myself?
     It became crystal clear I no longer chose to be trapped emotionally in the stigma of the holiday traditions of others. After all, I do not live my current life based on the way others live theirs, so why would I choose to experience the holiday season with the traditions of anyone else? Of course, if I wanted to do what others were doing, that would be appropriate, too!
     So, here is what I created:
     1. Because I am so connected to nature, I went into the woods and requested the elementals and nature beings  to help me honor them. I was gifted with pine boughs and pine cones, holly and red berries, and a small log. I added candles around these treasures, creating an holiday altar on my hearth.
    2. Each morning during December I dedicate time, compassion, and food to the animals I co-exist with in my wooded residence.
    3. Each night I made a commitment to sit in front of the fireplace and write in my journal , honoring the Fire Element, by expressing the things and ideas that ignite me that I am passionate about. I also offered thanks to each aspect of what/who is present in my life , gathered all that love into my heart, and sent it out into the world to all beings.
    4. Lastly, I made a decision to take  myself to a Winter Solstice Celebration with like hearted people.
     Reclaiming our holiday by creating our original, unique traditions and rituals  can be a loving way to avoid stress of old memories that do not muster peace, and is a gift to both our inner children and adult presence.



The Importance of Listening And Cooperating With Our Inner Messages

For a few years I have known in my heart and mind that we hold all our own answers within. We receive continuous messages from our intuition, our cells, our organs, every part of us. The Ancient Ones in past civilizations and cultures knew this crucial fact, and taught this sacred knowledge to all. We have often forgotten.

I consider myself healthy in my diet, my exercise regiment, and my daily spiritual practices. Recently I became quite ill and could not tolerate much of anything solid in the form of food. I am a Reiki Master, Sound Healing Practitioner, Daily Meditator, and practice Ancient Shamanic modalities. Of course I offered my body,mind, and spirit my own practices and reached out to other healing facilitators I have trust in. I also received unsolicited  and unhelpful advice and suggestions as to why I was sick.

I incorporate and welcome Western Medicine with Alternative  Medicine . My illness began two months ago and gradually progressed in a downward spiral. I went to my Integrative Medicine Doctor who suggested diagnostic tests, and , as always, he honored the fact I listen to my own body and intuition.

My body was telling me it was my time to come to a resting place, to receive instead of my usual M.O. of giving  help to others and holding Sacred Space for the Collective in our time of world chaos. As if I had a choice, and it became clear I did not, I stopped my activities. My body became weaker each day. I lived for close to a month on green juice, water, and broth. I did have a C-T scan, bloodwork, and an endoscopy. Most of the tests showed nothing was wrong with me. I listened without judgement but was weak. My body slept 10-11 hours a night. I experienced incredible Dreamtime each night, and even slept and dreamed during the day. I did finally receive a medical diagnosis of an abdominal, curable condition.

Through this experience I was not afraid, but at times was frustrated ; however, I continued listening to my dreams, my inner messages, and welcomed the support of my large tribe of friends and loved ones.

The messages of the Ancient Ones kept telling me to honor the change from Summer into Autumn, to be like the Wise trees that serve as my protection and guardians on the incredible property on which I live. I felt, just like the strong oaks, willows, and pines I was shifting in my beliefs, perceptions, and energies. When we allow ourselves to let go of trying to figure out logically what has no logical answers, and to trust the  Ancient Teachings ,Wisdom of Nature ,and Natural Laws to unfold, incredible events come to pass. Our world has changed and those who try to use prior ways to work through current situations just may discover those ways are now archaic, and no longer valid. Using the old ways will bring more fear, more anger, and more frustration. We must be willing to embrace a new paradigm if we are to live in peace and harmony today.

As I recently have begun able to eat food again, and returned to a gentle yoga practice, I see the necessity of this illness. I wonder maybe sometime img_3852 I asked for clarity, for inner answers to questions I did not consciously know to ask. I am grateful for the sickness that brought me to a screeching halt for it came with great gifts and blessings of surrender, of detoxification, of deeper trust and faith. I did release a couple of people I thought were supportive friends  during the short illness when I discovered they really were not supportive at all. My vibrational level has changed…theirs had stayed back in the past. I do not judge their path. Those relationships, too, have been part of my Autumn clearing and awakening.

Each experience I am blessed to witness continues to be an opportunity, a catalyst of ascension toward a new world, for we who have awakened, and to those gradually joining us. Sometimes we just have to stop and let natural cleansing lift us out of our old skins, and into a new sense of wonder. It does require mustering courage to be vulnerable enough to be transformed into a better version of ourselves. I often do not see the Warrior I was born to be for the purpose of sharing my experiences.. to lead another soul out of their own shadows..until I finally find the hidden doorknobs and walk into a brighter light. We are in this together, my friends. Let’s not give up just yet.


Time As We Knew It Has Shifted

I , for at least the past 34 years, have been a person who sees the silver lining in almost all situations. Like most everyone else when 2020 presented herself to be the year of change, of enforced stillness, and life as we have always known it coming to a snail paced crawl, I was initially in a state of bewilderment. Being a visionary, I became quickly aware that the abrupt changes not only in my little sector of the world, but in the entire world , required some major adjustments and re-assessing .
I view the world a tad differently than most. Having experienced a life sandwiched in between curious, mystical wonder and amazing manifestation events, abrupt outer changes to me are invitations to discover hidden puzzle pieces of what is below the surface of that which appears to be going on! So, I gathered my favorite journal and dedicated a period of time to receiving Divine insights into exactly what had transpired .

It became obvious we all had entered into a new wormhole of temporal change. I am not just referring to business and participation in classes/workshops shifting from face to face rooms to zoom locations ; quarantining from social gatherings; or my enjoyment of working out at my favorite gym. The way, the manner, I had always done anything…the way I responded to any situation or anyone had changed.
I really saw how I was not again returning to mentally living in the past or zooming to fantasies of the future. I was smack in the midst of the present, but an altered present!

Therefore, I had this lightbulb awakening revelation…now when I or any of us attempt to do or say things as we always have…or base even a simple task as predetermining how long a round trip excursion to the grocery store will be…we are living out of an extinct time line, and unless we return to our state of awakened time in the now different present, we will run into the proverbial brick wall of frustration, struggling, and confusion.
Yes, the Awakening Year of 2020 has transported us into a Dimension of New Time, beyond linear measures, and into an opportunity of transformative space. We have an option to fight it, resist it, complain about it, or surrender life as we knew it and embrace this as a shift of consciousness.
Brace yourself for this is just the beginning of where we, the Collective Awakened, are headed!

Is It Time To Re-Write Our Sacred Soul Contracts?

I have been observing the bundled fear-anger package so many of the “Collective” have claimed, owned, and bought into . From the onset of the Panademic of 2020 coined as the Time of Enforced Stillness, I chose to use the opportunity presented as a time to do deeper inner work of patterns, beliefs, and subtle shadow behaviors within myself. It would have been unfair and served no viable purpose had I continued, with my inner critic ,pointing my ever so long shaking finger at the “ collective energies of the world”. That being said is evidence to you that this is where my ego journeyed initially.It did not take long for me to see many Soul Contracts of the world of people were being repeated by bitching, complaining, secretly crying, and acting out in anger and frustration. I have an idea these Soul Contracts have been re-created through the DNA of all our lineages maybe since Neanderthal days.You may be asking just what is a soul contract?
Some people call them core issues, life lessons, or karmic experiences. They are the unwritten contracts we agreed to when we entered this spiritual experience in a human skin. Anyone we cross paths with from our parents to our co-worker to our chosen partners to the stranger who insults/empowers us is an actor on our evolutionary stage playing out our Soul Contract. There probably are aspects of your contract you have already mastered and others you have yet to jump successfully over the hurdle of challenging performances. Part of our Soul Contract is intended to align with our true purpose or mission we came to fulfill. What if you are relatively sure or sort of guess you know your purpose but one or more parts of your life aren’t working? We can bless the situations for the presented opportunities and experiences and release with love. This is one choice but it really does not change the outcome of the lesson. Another choice is to lay out all unresolved aspects on our proverbial table, examine the patterns wrapped in our sandwich of subconscious beliefs, and call a meeting of any soul agreements we unconsciously have previously agreed to, and re-write the terms of the Sacred Contract. How is this possible you may ask?
Get still and quiet in which you and your Inner Wise One within agree to allow the solution of the highest good in an area (Relationships, money, work,health,etc.) you select to come out in the open and be revealed without attachment to any outcome. Name and list the beliefs and patterns of the area to be addressed. Example: in work, the belief is I have to spend each day working until I am exhausted. This is a contract that I may choose to re-write to this: I work efficiently doing what I love and balance each work day with rest, fun, and joy! As we choose to review each area of our lives we may begin to see the need to re-write the unspoken and unwritten soul contracts that live in our subconscious , that have been attracting specific experiences to play out on the stage we call our life. The Panademic just may be one of the greatest opportunities of our life- evolution if we choose to perceive it as an opportunity of reflective transformation.

Setting Focused Intentions

I was taught many moons ago where my attention goes is where energy flows. So many spend a majority of time focusing on how the government is not helping citizens during the current Panademic, pointing fingers of blame at those whose views oppose their own, worrying over how our systems seem to be crumbling like the bottom layer of chips left in the bag. I wonder how differently each of us would be if, alternatively, we each put our focus on walking in nature and/or developing a consistent spiritual practice that would result in peace, calm, and a relaxed state of being. I am willing to bet most people are unaware that the written and spoken words carry either positive or negative energy, and thoughts are equally powerful.
If more people could see with their eyes the shadowy inner blockages held within and how clearing out fear, anger, worry, and frustration would open a container of energetic space each of us would have available for creating new, innovative ways to assist the environment, the less fortunate, the sad and unhappy people in our own communities, and our own inner peace, do you think other choices would be made? Low vibrations that bring us down are fed daily by focusing on fears of losing what we have, anger over the current condition of the world, and apprehension over if a virus is as deadly as media reports, and if we will be forced for years to come to avoid gatherings with people we care about.
If you recognize any of the following signs, you may be operating out of low vibrations: feeling you are a victim of the current state of the country, feeling judged or judging others, feeling your fears are holding you in proverbial quicksand unable to change, feeling you must control everything around you in order to feel safe, or exploding in anger over little things you used to brush off.
I am relatively sure most of us do not want to be depleting our personal energies or be walking around as a bundle of low vibrations. It may surprise you to know many people, including some who do healing work as a service, are holding low vibrational energies. We each will benefit from reminding ourselves no one among us has experienced in this lifetime anything as life altering as the 2020 Panademic.
There are several spiritual practices available to each of us. Key is to use and practice daily, and to surrender the egoic idea because you have been on the path for a while you do not need any longer to incorporate spiritual practices into your daily routine. You may think a spiritual practice is a religious one but it is not. What it is is an activity that deepens your spiritual life : that part of your life which is a sense of connection to something bigger than yourself.
Some spiritual practices are as follows: (1.) Gratitude ( Say aloud or write all the things you currently have in your life that you sincerely appreciate). (2.) Holding Light (Visualize a source of bright light shining on and around people and situations that are meaningful to you.). 3. Awareness of the present moment ( Take 3 deep breaths and be in stillness. Sit in quietude, allowing your mind to be empty. Just focus on being. During this time you do not have to be doing anything.). 4.Practice Compassion. ( Feel compassion for a person who is doing the best they can. Allow your mind to remember when this person did not meet your expectations. Extend compassion to yourself, acknowledging you are doing the best you can. 5. Walking Meditation ( Go into nature. Walk slowly without speaking. Feel each footstep connecting with the earth. Pay attention to your body as you walk. When you reach the end of your path stop and pause. Take a few cleansing breaths and turn around as you walk back notice flowers, butterflies, plants, and trees.
6. Yoga, Tai Chi, or Qi Gong. Go to an outdoor class or find one on YouTube.
Focus on what has not changed. Reflect on past times you handled not knowing what was going to happen such as starting a new job, graduating from school, or learning to drive. Write on paper the list of past situations that you had no knowledge of what was going to happen that you handled!
Continue raising your vibrations by using a couple of practices daily, choosing to not watch the news, state aloud what is positive in your life just for today, do mindfulness mediations, light candles in the daytime, and focus on the positive coming from the changing world! Call a positive , like hearted friend, and say aloud: This too shall pass and together we are surviving!

Co-existence In Peaceful Resting

When my life changed ,as did the rest of the world’s with 2020’s Panademic, I entered a period of adjustment. My home is in an area surrounded by a lush bounty of nature. I assure you I love big cities and the cultural amenities cities give me. I love to travel. My plan for the past year was to be camping in my favorite New Mexico remote canyon in June.That plan was altered. The Panademic definitely has impacted my financial status. I could be moaning and complaining about what continues to be an “unprecedented time” . I do march to the beat of my own drum, and because of that fact, perhaps I view the world differently than many.
I began my adjustment with looking deeply into what needed to be re-set , what was imbalanced In me ; where I might be experiencing disconnecting areas of personal relationships. Because I have been embracing the Ancient Ways of living my life in connection with the wisdom of nature, it was only natural and sacred for me to observe how Nature was using the time of Re-set. It did not take long to see Nature was flourishing into peaceful surrender and resting . She did not stop her blossoming of new growth in the Spring, welcoming budding plants, flowers, and birthing of new wildlife as animal parents nurtured their extended families. She continued her natural process as Summer set in. However, something, indeed, was different. Not only was the phenomenal Re-set happening in the forest I call home, but the miraculous environmental changes have been globally felt. The slower pace of human activities, though incorporating sickness and death,economic angst, and in many cases increased fears has brought social issues such as racism and long histories of unfair treatment of blacks, gender discrimination, and unscrupulous actions of police and governmental bodies out in the open.
The more I delved into my own beliefs and attitudes, the more I saw the silver lining of how the peaceful resting of nature has invited each of us to
co-exist differently in a new world. We will never return to the way the world was prior to the 2020 Panademic. Not only is nature flourishing ,but in spite of aggression, even violence, protests, destruction of statues depicting glorification of enslaved minorities..we as humanity are gradually flourishing! I believe it is because instead of us vs them or us vs nature, we in our slower co-existence with all beings, can no longer deny we, nature, and the changed world are not separate entities. We are nature. Nature is us. We are awakening. We called this in. We did not expect it to unfold in the way it has, but we repeatedly stated the words, and words have power:” The world of greed, destruction of the environment, imbalance of all elements has to change! “
So here we are learning to co-exist in the time of forced stillness, the time of forced inner balance, and the time of no more denial. Instead of fighting AGAINST broken systems, hatred among people, we are given one— if not the greatest opportunity humanity has ever witnessed…we can stand FOR kindness, resolution, and balance with the co-existence with our brotherhood-sisterhood we have craved since time began.. I thank nature for opening the door allowing us to see first in animals, plants, air, waters, and land how peaceful resting can be the portal to co-existence with all of us together as one United, Integrated Species.


You speak with platitudes with words that indeed have Power and Energy. My question to you this day is what will you allow? Will you allow yourself to surrender and release all the animosity, the judgements, the self righteous opinions, and come together with your fellow brothers and sisters, with all of Humanity as one Species with One Loving Collective Intention….or will you continue to point fingers of blame , to demand others live life your way and by your unspoken rules? Will you continue to glorify your wisdom and acts or will you step into the Light of true Authenticity? Will you allow yourself to exhale and to Be The Love you claim to seek? Go deep within and search earnestly for what will open each of our doorways…we have an opportunity in this enforced stillness to join together…or choose to separate into the hole of Hell labeling it Knowledge. What will we each allow?

The Underlying Truth

I have been observing people I thought I knew well during the enforced quarantine of 2020 seemingly change. As I observed I came to the conclusion no one has changed…each has only become more of who they already were. Several friends and acquaintances have taken on the role of scientists, physicians, and Gods. People I only saw inklings of these shadow roles have jumped on proverbial bandwagons touting and spouting their greatness and their beliefs that their way is the only way to believe and present to the world. I have experienced significant changes in a few friendships, and a few I have walked away from while a few have walked away from me. I learned long ago I can shut the door on any situation, any relationship, but never to put the deadbolt lock on that door. One just never knows what may need to change, revisit, and reform within ourselves.

My own self observations have been assessed and I continue to believe in shining the light on humanity, holding the vision of a humanity of equality, and holding the intention, the best I can, of loving my brotherhood-sisterhood where each is at the moment. This at times challenges me but I continue striving. Being willing to accept even those who have attacked me and others personally , verbally blatantly and subtly has opened a door of frustration and pain I have carried since my teen age years. I applaud the Universe for opening this can of worms! I applaud those whose passions have resulted in uncorking the bottle of false illusions, denial, and unresolved grief. I celebrate the huge deception of humankind that we are separate beings. We are awakening, some of us slower than others, and some of us fighting to hold on tightly with the evidence of our long claw marks resisting change.

I read today that perfectionism is a form of self destruction, and I am adding to this definition, self sabotage. Those of us who have been suffering with this belief that we must be perfect and do life perfectly underneath that umbrella only have a tight carriage hidden , we hope, to minimize all those feelings of shame, guilt, blame and judgement. Therefore, so many in the collective consciousness demand to show each other and the world how it is all needing to look, how it should evolve.

Perhaps we can loosen that tight harness we have placed around our own neck and the spine of others by letting it unfold as it needs to…by looking into the eye of each of other fellow beings…and saying gently..You, too are my brother and my sister. You, too, are part of me. Then by looking in the mirror deeply at our own eyes without blinking and saying: I welcome the unity of humanity without choosing to be separated by any aspect. I am enough. You are enough. Together we are whole. Ahhhh as I exhale the need to make it turn out the way my ego demands …I can finally breathe and become love itself.

Why We Are Living In Land Of Chaos

Has it occurred to you that the perceptions you have of who you are affect how you treat others? I have questioned most of my life why prejudice, racism, and the strong need to dominate another whether it has to do with color, race, gender, ethnicity, religion, or beliefs of any kind exists. For one to feel superior to another, which establishes an inherent desire and self induced entitlement to have domination over another group or single person ,it is because the one wanting to squash another into powerlessness feels the other to be a perceived threat. I have long had a magnet that states “if I am alright with me, I have no need to make you wrong.” The underlying issue is fear driving the person wanting to prove the perceived person is beneath them , and needs to be put in their place, controlled, even extinguished . Really it is that the unhealed insecurity, inferiority, and feelings of inadequacy empower them to behave through actions proving they are above and better than those they attempt to oppress.

In normal child development a child seeks acceptance, validation, and approval between the ages of five to twelve. Not getting these needs met often results in the birth of a sense of insecure inferiority. Unless this is resolved as the person goes through life, actions and behaviors will reflect the need to dominate over another.

I am a white woman who grew up in the sixties. I say I never saw color, but you know that is not exactly true. Of course I saw the difference in my skin color and another. What I did not understand was how could it be anywhere near right for a person to be treated less than because they were not white. I really got it by the time I was a high school freshman that I was given freely white privilege and my black friends were not, and I abhorred and hated this fact. I felt bad for people of color but no black person wants our sympathy. What is wanted is to TELL THE TRUTH . We need to call out people, our friends, our family, our co-workers who practice racism and prejudice. We need to admit we as white people have always been granted special privileges in our societies. We need to wake up and scream from the rooftops America and all countries , we have a big problem..we treat people of color differently and it has to stop! We are each equal . Say that repeatedly until your heart gets it. To my black friends I want to say loudly I, White woman of privilege, am sorry! I am not sorry you are of a different color. I am sorry you were not afforded the same privileges as I have been freely given, and I vow to do all I can to be part of the solution in changing this . I vow to call people out who I see treating you beneath them, on police racially profiling, maiming, even killing anyone solely on an unhealed need to dominate because of race and skin color. I vow to listen to every word of my oppressed brothers and sisters and stand with, for, and beside you as a reflection of myself because you are a Divine reflection. We are One species, and our land of chaos can be healed. It MUST start with telling the truth. Black lives matter because we are equal. If my words make you uncomfortable and disgustingly angry, I am glad. At least somewhere within you, you are recognizing your part in a very long standing problem, and just maybe you will become part of the healing of humanity.

What Drives Your Choices?

    When  I was younger I allowed my my problems, my pain(body), my issues, my false self to be the fuel behind my choices in jobs, relationships, where I volunteered, and in my actions. My emotions and feelings drove my choices.
     What I have come to understand and claim is when I compromise my core values, the result almost always ends up in my feeling defeated, less than, burned out, lacking self confidence and self worth, and genuinely stressed out!
     Somewhere along my path of living life it became crucial that I discovered what exactly were my core values and how did I keep compromising myself. I came up with some self questions to find out the answers. No one could do this for me. I had to get real with myself.
     Here are only two questions I have embraced whether it is a company I work for, a relationship I am engaged in, or a situation I devote my time and energy with.
 1. What is important to me?   2. What do I get from these things?
     Knowing just these two critical things empowers and enables me to assess if the job, the friendship, the partnership, or the situation aligns with my core values. Only then will my inner motivation, that fuels and drives me express to the Universe and to myself my values. Only then will I be truly at peace, comfortable in my own skin, and be non-conflicted within all the areas that make up my life.
     My personal greatest core values are integrity, communication( both listening and verbalizing), honesty, self-respect, commitment, authenticity, freedom, creativity, kindness, self-discipline, risk taking and courage.
     Once a year, or more frequently ,if I find myself in conflict in any area, I look at these values, assessing if I am compromising myself.
     You may want to ask yourself if you are compromising your values in one or more areas of your life. Remember denial is not a river in Egypt! Do you care if you are compromising ? Is it really worth it?  In my mind, if I am compromising my values for any reason it changes my passions and my very soul!

The Courage and Power of Neutrality

Recently in my Dreamtime  I was shown faces of a multitude of people. Part of them were horrifically paralyzed in fear. Another group were angrily trying to yank the fearful along with a third group of undecided people into a dark burial pit. Then I saw a row of  eleven large boulders with a single white eagle perched on each rock, wings spread, with their majestic eyes gazing forward.
When I awakened a quote from the Sufi poet Rumi entered my mind: “ somewhere beyond right and wrong there is a garden. I will meet you there.” What this means to me is instead of pointing the finger of blame at someone else, I can choose to find common ground that does not attach judgment or emotions to it. This mystical
“garden” that Rumi speaks of is the place of neutrality. To some, neutrality is complete denial, turning one’s head away from the situation, pretending  it does not even exist. To others neutrality means sitting on an indecisive, proverbial fence, not able or willing to take a stand.
In my life there have been times when I have left a situation I have been called aloof, distantly detached. I don’t believe this is an accurate assessment of who I am.
When I know I am complete with a relationship, a situation, or an experience I initially speak my opinion but before I walk away, and simply emotionally detach from the other person and the experience. I then enter a place of neutrality. Even if the person or situation invite me to return, to try it again, I remain calmly detached in neutrality. Just before I get to the state of detached neutrality I am in a crosstie – it does not matter if I stay or if I go. Then I enter neutrality. Once I am finished and complete with the experience I move forward, having no reason to revisit or look back again.
To me the gift of neutrality is not a severing or even a farewell. It is similar to how I think my final exhale from my human body will be when I leave this earth…… Complete and done.

Exhaling With Dignity

I have long known nature is my greatest teacher. During the past six weeks I have been given multiple opportunities to re-assess my life in grateful periods of stillness. When we are willing to watch and learn from nature we are given a visual classroom of how letting go of the prior existences of the physical opens doors for new transformations to emerge. An important lesson:  Nature has no need to cling and let go unwillingly with claw marks.

As I continue to surrender old ways of living life, situations that have become stale and disharmonious, I am able to exhale with new and welcoming breaths of awakened awareness. The result is more freedom of spirit within.

A few people I was confident I had released have reappeared lately. My inner Wise Higher Self at these times has presented me with the question “Are you sure you are finished with this?” My answer for each has been to see the humor in the reappearances, gratefully brushing off the residue of my past, and keep walking forward on my journey.

    When we see the amazing energy that claiming  the exhalation of letting go without any emotional attachment ,the practice of surrendering will become not just something we need to do, but will be an integral alignment with our co-creation of our Authentic Self alive in each precious moment. 

Surrendering has become increasingly seductive and I want more present moments of the conscious breath of awakening!