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The Opportunity For Balance

The Northern Hemisphere on September 22, 2022 welcomes the Autumn Equinox, a time in which day and night are equal in length. Since ancient times it has been celebrated as a powerful energetic and transitional time landing between the time of the seasonal periods of Light and the Darker aspects we experience.

Autumn Equinox invites us each to reflect on our internal shiftings from our thoughts, activities, and practices of the blazing heat of Summer into the changing quieter transition of our callings. Traditionally, Fall has been the time of school beginning after a busy and eventful break of active play and vacationing. Perhaps this Equinox is tapping your shoulders with an invitation to engage in intellectual, spiritual, and mental learning.

It is a time to check in with our inner scales to determine how our mind, body, and spirit is balanced and aligned with our core values and needs. We may desire to ask each element within what will bring our sacred feminine-sacred masculine sides into the balanced union of nurturing, creative endeavors, actions, and self discipline.

Are you being summoned to start new projects or insert a depth of more focus on old ones? Is it a time to deepen current commitments or to walk through the portal of innovative ones? The Autumn Equinox this year carries with her energies of a greater opportunity to really listen to our heart and body. The possibilities for spiritual, emotional, physical, and mental balance await us each during this transitional gateway.

Take the time to walk outside observing the changes that occur within the changing seasons. Reflect on the teaching that is being offered to you by the Master Teacher, Mother Nature, as the Ancients did. As we turn more inwardly with the intention to really listen we will be rewarded with the manifestation of hidden treasures awaiting us.

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Being A Transparent and Authentic Friend

There was the me who once upon a time felt a need to hide certain aspects of who I really was. I believe growing up in a world and a household of mixed messages gave me indirect ideas that being vulnerable was not safe. Then there was that issue with trust I carried with me into most areas of my life. I tried to exude the personality that I was this together person even though deep inside my insecurities were holding my foundation in a sea of quicksand! It did not help that one of my parents told me repeatedly it was important to “look good” to the outside world. I imagine many of us have lived with a similar internal conflict.

Transparency implies openness, accountability, and intentional honesty. Most relationships, be it romantic partnerships or friendships, lacking transparency, crumble over time because one within the friendship/partnership is either incapable or refusing to share important facts and information. It is not that the other is intentionally lying to the other…they have just withheld truth.

I remember the day I made the decision to become transparent and authentic . Once the decision was made I did not need to wait to be asked about specific things in my friendships. I knew with all my heart and soul it was important to reveal my thoughts, my challenges, even my fears.

There have been friendships in my history I have tried to maintain in which the other person has not been transparent, and I struggled with them, knowing they were not equal ones. I suppose I could have continued in such relationships. However, trust, accountability, and honesty are keystones for me in any relationship I choose to maintain in my present evolution of being the best version of myself. My deal breakers are proportionally aligned with my core values. When I have revealed what is really inside of me, aspects of my life with complete vulnerability and the other person judges me or immediately changes the subject without responding or shifts the conversation to something about something else without acknowledging what I just honestly and with vulnerability shared it is a red flag for me. It is not even about them agreeing or disagreeing with me. It is about evidence of my being heard.

In the new world we are now living in, it may be helpful to assess if we as individuals are content with the health of each of our friendships , if each is authentic and equal, if our friendships are with those we can truly trust and count on to be honest and loyal, and are we confident of having no fears or apprehensions of being judged or criticized (verbally or non-verbally).

My bottom line is when I am transparent and authentic, I am showing up as the true being I am. Furthermore, I desire and will honor myself by being in relationships with those who embrace and welcome me as I am. Those who think I need to follow their set of rules or beliefs are welcome to co-exist in our world, but I am not so sure I want to maintain a friendship or partnership with them.

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BELONGING

It is a fact we need each other. Psychologists have long researched and told us that love and belonging are crucial for all human beings. Even those who consider themselves loners need to belong because we are each social creatures. When we become disconnected from our people, our tribe, we suffer long term consequences. Our internal yearning craves the connection of belonging but even stronger is the innate need to belong to ourselves.

Our search for belonging in the journey to be valued and accepted may have taken us down a road in which our authentic self has been compromised. When we betray our very essence by agreeing to hide all or parts of who we really are in any relationship or chosen group of others, we will suffer deeply. We may have discovered that just joining with others is not enough. When we fear people will judge us or not even understand who we really are, there may be choices and decisions we make to give our loyalties to others while we remain disloyal to ourselves.

If we finally have that radiant light bulb moment of inner knowing which will require vulnerable truth and courage that being our authentic self sandwiched within is the highest level of self love and self acceptance ,we will finally be free to be part of a tribe without sacrificing our beautiful self! We will no longer hold back all or any aspects of who we are. We will ultimately grant ourselves the permission we have long denied to live as the best version of ourselves. Once we crawl or jump out of our chamber of hiding from all, even from humanity, we can never return to believing in order to be accepted and belong we must sacrifice ourselves. We will belong and stop suffering. Self belonging still will require inner work and self check-ins to align with our real self. Today as a result of my light bulb moments, I choose to be only my true self, and I know I am enough wherever I go.

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Opening The Portal Of Hope

Experiencing abundance is as simple as opening our eyes and ears to the awareness of that which has been generously sprinkled upon each of us every day. We are not going to think our way into the opportunities awaiting us behind each blocked door our beliefs of impossibilities created by fears, limitations, lack, and low expectations prevent us from experiencing.

Often it is our recycling of deep subconscious thoughts that because sometime in our past someone inflicted proverbial chains of doubt and patterns of self sabotage that we believe years after the claim we cannot locate our own bootstraps needed to lift ourselves out of the swamp of shame. We may choose to remain locked in hopeless despair instead of choosing to stand up and walking out a swinging door that our negative ideas convinced us was locked.

We may get some perverse pleasure we call evidence in aligning with what “THEY” did to us which continues to prevent us from living our best life. The collective “they” could be parents, caregivers, lovers who rejected us, the government, etc. Pick your “they” that still after the experience long ago has ended .. you may still be giving free admission to have power over you.

An alternative path could be to open our vision fully at the multitudes of trees, forests, winged ones, creeping crawlers, finned and water animals thriving in the Natural World . This view of a world of diverse and incredible possibilities can show us all the Divine has created for our and their co-existence . Nature is our greatest teacher!! Are we yet ready to listen?
When we stop our self destructive and self pitying perceptions we just might awaken to the possibility of abundance to view with gratitude all that the Divine has anointed upon our daily lives . Only then is it possible to see that the thoughts we locked in our little restrictive boxes of fear and inactive solutions can we see alignment with a Divine Power is bigger than any of all those little boxes we assigned to various wishful thinking of relationships and areas we have been dragging around in a sack of hopeless disappointment.
When we choose to stop trying to run our show because we so want to be in control, and choose to align with this Divine Power, we just may see a very different life. If still not convinced, you may answer this question: How is that working for you to do it your way?

Without risks the possible remains impossible. Stepping out of our comfort zone when we are willing to do the same or similar situations differently is the key to walking out a locked door that was never locked in the first place! Freedom of spirit only comes when we allow our skewed misperceptions to melt in the radiance of changing our thoughts. Simple….But how we love to complicate our lives.

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Are You The Cause Or The Effect?

Reflecting on the many times that life situations have not gone my way with my being uncomfortable in my own skin, it has always been of value to ask myself: What was the CAUSE?

Often we may discover it was our reaction to the world outside of us trapping us in a cobweb of a recycling vortex of negative thoughts . This is not a pretty place to allow ourselves to be stuck!
When we stop the whirlwind of internal struggling by choosing to stop telling and re-telling a false story created by picking up that old finger of blame laced with illusions someone is making us a victim we amazingly see how the cause can be transformed by our positive actions moving us into claiming the effect we desire.

Our story which is usually not even true has a basis in assumptions and past unresolved issues we have hidden in a dark crypt of our subconscious mind. So often the current reaction has nothing to do with the event or person we are projecting our story onto but actually is an old experience of pain we are still dragging behind us into selected , if not into all, relationships!

Switching to using the famous ancient Hermetic Principle as above, so below, we can return to right relationships with our inner thought-propelled actions extending from our home to the world and every space in between. This principle of absolute truth dealing with action- reaction and cause- effect can assist us in remembering every thought , spoken/ written word, and action affects each and every relationship we have. Our choice in changing to loving thoughts and constructive self actions immediately has the ability to move us above the fearful, anxious problem to a place of above: inner peace. The “ below” is a projection of not having what we demand with levels of unworthiness, rejection, and fear while the newly understood creation of the “ above” produces amazing awareness of the internal links to the calm serenity we have been seeking. Our simple actions provide concrete evidence this ancient law of as above, so below is true!

Therefore, you may want to ask yourself Am I the cause or am I the effect? Choices, my dear reader, can be held tighter than an anchor’s knot or released and changed as easily as the spontaneity of your first kiss.

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Resilience Is Your SuperPower

We came from ancestors who survived Tyrannosaurus Rex viewing people as their entree and those who walked before us who faced earth changes and near annihilation . Our DNA carries Survivor-Resilience. Repeatedly, I reflect on past cultures and what we have forgotten. Thriving in times of unexpected chaos can awaken within each of us solutions of magnitude . We can choose to be the Wayshowers of Light or the Doomsday Criers of Despair. How we can muster and gather our inner strength into an impervious Ball of New Vision is exactly what resilience offers us each an opportunity to embrace!

Resilience is the ability to adapt to challenging events and experiences of life situations even when knocked down a few notches and come back just as strong or even stronger than before. In addition, it is the adaptation to bounce back when things do not go as we had preconceived. Looking at my own life once I claimed Resilience as one of my SuperPowers, I looked at difficult circumstances as challenges to overcome, not as anything that was able to paralyze me into a frozen state of fear. My ownership of resilience became wrapped in a visionary commitment of my intentions in those causes important to me, in nurturing relationships/friendships I desire to maintain, and in acknowledging/adhering to my personal core values.

It is a fact that part of life is going to include making mistakes, being unsuccessful in certain aspects we hope to achieve, and even seeing certain situations and relationships come to a brutal end. Instead of allowing these times to devastate us to the point we give up and try to shelter ourselves from taking more risks, we can be determined to make Resilience one of our Superpowers by seeking and making concrete efforts to go after our hopes and dreams. Wrapping our failures and mistakes around our shoulders as learned opportunities , we really can bounce back stronger than the Energizer Rabbit , and move forward to things we never even imagined we could successfully see manifesting into fruition!

Here are some key ways to creating Resilience:

*Self care by getting effective sleep nightly, incorporating exercise you enjoy daily (gym, walking, swimming, tai chi, etc.), and using relaxation tools such as breath work and mindful and walking meditations.

*Listen consistently to the thoughts you have. When negative ones show up, replace them with positive ones. Ask the question: Is that really true? Who told me that???

*Respond with balanced calmness as opposed to reacting with anxious panic when life throws us a monkey wrench we did not see coming. I am a big fan of sticky notes that I put all over the place reminding me of choices I can make that are helpful not hurtful to my mind, body, and spirit.

*Find and nurture strong connections with others. When we find those we have are no longer working for our Highest and Best good walk away with kindness and compassion. Authentic relationships will feed our resilience and confidence in ourselves that we then can be a walking example for others to follow. When we have a network of trustworthy and supportive people we are never alone, and can call on them for support and help.

*Recognize and acknowledge our struggles and challenges are valid. We do not want to deny their stress on our wellbeing .

*Inventory and claim the strengths you already have. This is not arrogant. It will help us to call on our own abilities when the unexpected occurs.

*Give yourself permission to take a break from being so serious and a workaholic (even in play). Know what gives you pleasure and incorporate it into your calendar!

Resilience IS a superpower! Use it to your advantage and you might even discover you had magical wings attached to your back all along that will help you soar through challenges and life changes.

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Embracing The Exhale

In my quest of the current journey of my life to uncover ancient wisdom and ideas to remain calm and return to that sacred space of being comfortable within my own skin multitudes of solutions appear…usually in my Dreamtime. There was a long period of time these solutions only came in those times of meditation . I cannot tell you when this awareness changed for I have been writing about my night dreams for eons. I have also been practicing mindfulness meditation for 36 years. When it happened for me I believe an internal shift made itself known to my conscious mind and I was pleasantly surprised to welcome that almost mystical place that probably has always been available ..that amazing place existing between my dreamtime space and my meditations.

Have you ever noticed , especially since the world changed, that you could be feeling fantastic, happy and carefree when suddenly you are surrounded by a sudden episode of anxiety and highly charged emotions? Sometimes mine comes on when I am watching or listening to a speaker from their podium (especially those who claim to be healers or spiritual leaders) . I am referring to the negative aura exuding from some speakers or writers whose energy seems to overtake not only myself but the whole audience! Being a life long empath, I pick up on how others around me are being affected. Then there are those times this happens when I am triggered by hearing of suffering in the world caused by despairing events of viruses, starving cultures, greed, and uncaring political people. When this experience occurs I feel this inner tension start building in my belly right at my diaphragm and it moves up my spine into my heart. Overwhelm takes over and my feet feel they are immobilized as if in quicksand.

Having lived through the revolutionary sixties when we demanded social change and often aggressive violence tried to push us back into our holes of non resistance , that old fear can pop out. For the longest time I did not know how to handle those times of anxiety and confusion UNTIL my journeys to the otherworlds and other dimensions started appearing in the dreamtime place.

I am blessed to be a visionary dreamer and most of the time I can understand the messages presented, and see that even my perceived nightmares hold solutions in my waking hours! If I do not understand I have a couple of highly intuitive people in my world I can call on for an interpretation.

One of my reoccurring messages has been to embrace the exhale. Now many will say it is best to also embrace the inhale , but I have found by doing a modified version of the Tong Len practice by visualizing and holding all those intense emotions in a box I create in my mind then EXHALE with a huge wind noise and my audible primal scream , blowing them out into a huge ceremonial fire I imagine ,seeing they are consumed by the fire, and transformed into self love and Light! Embracing the Exhale solutions is beyond incredible. There are many other examples and techniques of embracing the exhale that have come to me.

The exhale is the beyond -surrender. Knowing I have a choice to surrender by embracing my exhale has pushed me out of so many internal conflicts. I use it with people who try to focus their ill will and negative opinions on me, with my questions of why the world has become like it has , with conflicts of my deepest connections I have with others, and when I read angry, resentful statements spoken by both strangers and known others.

Once I embrace the exhale, I then can return to my wonderful calmness and my breathing is sandwiched in my peace. I once again enter that self loving place of being a better version of myself.

I can hardly wait to go to sleep every night to get the pleasure of hearing yet another idea that my great intelligent mind never dreamed of and hear the ancient and unworldly beings download me with something new!

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Compromise Or Walk Away?

Have you ever noticed in some areas of your life: romance, work, or friendship it is like a plot in a movie entitled Same Relationship With A Different Face? Have you thought about the possibility that just maybe you attempted to resolve an issue with someone and you questioned if you were the one over compromising and giving in ? I have been reflecting on the value of compromising in several relationships over the past little while.

I am not an advocate of living in the past. However, sometimes there is merit in reviewing decisions made and actions taken. It helps me to come to terms with my recycled patterns of behaviors. Patterns that are repeated of which I have observed in myself seem to be replays of uncomfortable responses to negative experiences. Sometimes I have asked myself have I been compromising too much and the other person has not compromised at all! Because I have looked at how I have shifted from an aggressive doormat of my past to a person with no problem stating calmly how I feel in any situation, I have formulated some cardinal points regarding compromises applicable in almost all situations.

  1. When my stated opinions and thoughts are ignored in conversation after conversation this feels like a red flag of disrespect . I am referring to when voicing my thoughts, aspects of my life and the other person never responds, but just jumps to another topic repeatedly. Clearly there is no give and take going on here.
  2. When I know I have changed since the initiation of the relationship, especially in verbal and behavioral exchanges with the other person, and they have not changed it may be time to walk away. Compromising is no longer an option.
  3. When I have repeatedly requested the other to stop doing a specific behavior, and they keep doing the same behavior and you remind them , and their response is saying they have trouble remembering your request, perhaps this is a deal breaker.
  4. If I have not been transparent about my wants/needs why would the other not be offering them? Once I realize where I was not communicating clearly and the other feels I am asking for too much, I may be able to compromise by rethinking what I am asking of them.
  5. I can stop trying to be right. I accomplish this by listening to the other person’s opinion and belief. Listening without judgment is a great tool of compromising.
  6. Asking inwardly is it crucial to myself to stand my ground on a certain topic or could I be willing to reflect on my expectations toward the other? If I say I am willing to compromise, and then refuse to do so, I am only showing the other I make false statements of a resolution. This is not integrity within any relationship.

In future connections with compromising I can maintain an open mind, be an active listener without judgement, and be willing to modify my expectations. However, when compromising is no longer building a bridge of a relationship of give and take, perhaps it is time to consider the value of the relationship, which may lead to walking away from it.

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Key to Inner Peace: Detachment

Have you ever reflected upon attachments you hold to a person or a specific outcome of a situation? I have looked at this often in my life, and have reached repeatedly the same AHA conclusions. My unhealthy attachments are always rooted in fear, and that shadow feature I love to hate: a desire to control. I think with some people it is also an inner need to hang on and leave claw marks on the familiar. Fear, you may ask? The human being ‘s fear of afraid to lose what we have placed deep ownership upon or fear we will never get what we demand is rightfully ours to manifest into fruition.

Over the years I have made efforts to become a better version of myself, I have become vulnerable and in almost all relationships in most areas have stated what I observe in others. I will be the first to profess I am not the most diplomatic on the planet, but I am one who holds nothing back, who tells it as I see it, and who is unafraid to tell another what I like about them and what is not working for me. Recently someone who has known me for many years told me I can come across as being unkind. That perception is her assessment of my stating what I observed in her. My inner thoughts on that with anyone are two-fold. I believe our world has become filled with a collective of over sensitive people who prefer to remain in what they believe is a safe rabbit hole…who prefer not to take a deeper dive into potential authenticity sandwiched in surrendering old ideas most likely that live in the subconscious . I suspect these ideas were hammered into their belief systems by role models of authority at a young age. That was not their fault, but I also believe as functional adults we have the responsibility to find solutions to walk our talk in the present. Secondly, if we allow others to be who they are without wanting to change each other’s behaviors, perhaps we are equally able to allow ourselves to be who we really are without hidden motives and agendas..to release the false faces we have been demonstrating since childhood, and heaven forbid, grow up!

I wholeheartedly concede attachments play a crucial role in connections with bonds we have with friends, partners, family, and co-workers. Without attachments we would always be seeking out other people when the first symptoms of a disagreement occur. With the initial emotional attachments we have with others, we may feel safe and secure. Of course, we humans have wants and needs. Otherwise why would we not shy away from relationships? If we can be gut level honest with ourselves we might admit we don’t feel bonds, even love with another because of what the person can give or do for us. We feel unconditional love for another because of who the other is.

Attachment , the unhealthy type, can be born when we believe another can give us something we do not think we have within ourself. If we have attached to any relationship carrying the belief this person has something we think we do not have ,a conflict will probably begin when the other person is not fulfilling some of our unspoken needs. This conflict can grow because often a need for a person to fulfill unreasonable expectations for us continues to create a visible abyss between us. This abyss , if not communicated and addressed can become a gaping canyon.

Learning to detach from our dependence on another , and understanding how to meet our own needs ourself is key to creating better relationships with all kinds of people. Acceptance of each other as we are is important. However , if there are areas and subjects that are always requiring us to steer away from another due to lack of trust, invalidation, and disrespect, perhaps it is time to consider how much we really value the relationship. Ask ourself if it is a healthy attachment clothed in reciprocal respect or is it a one-sided aspect that you never even saw coming….until the day you saw a bit more honest truth can be a catalyst to ones own growth. It may be painful to become aware the other person has not changed at all…it is just you did not want to see what was shown to you by them and by your participation , perhaps from the beginning.

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Unspoken Rules

I find human behavior …and my own..so intriguing. If I invite you to play a new board game and do not tell you how it is played, and we start the game with one of us not understanding the rules, I guarantee one of us will be trying to figure it out and one or both of us will be frustrated..maybe even angry . Maybe the one who was not made privy to the rules will not care that they do not know how to play, and will just make up the rules as they proceed with the game. Maybe the one who did not offer an explanation of how the game is played will get so frustrated that they just walk away , assuming the other is stupid. Maybe the one who did not know the rules will speak up and ask pertinent questions enabling them to understand what is it the other wants to happen. Maybe the one with the information of the game will resent the other for not figuring out what they believe anyone should know. Human beings sure are interesting, aren’t we?

Of course we have social norms that are unspoken, unwritten rules such as not taking or asking for the last piece of pie, leaving something better than when you found it, being kind and courteous to people working in a service position, not whispering to someone when you are in presence of a group of others, replacing toilet tissue if you used the last ply, using the rule of letting people get off the subway/public transit before you get on, never apologizing with an excuse (I am sorry, BUT….), etc. So many social rules are assumed we all are aware of instead of them being stated or written.

Then there are unspoken rules in interpersonal relationships between friends , family, and partners such as avoiding letting go of old resolved conflicts from the past by not bringing it up again, never using the other’s weakness or flaws against them, keeping things private that have been spoken in confidence to avoid the other feeling betrayed, letting them know you are on their side, giving each other and yourself personal space with alone time, avoiding your own insecurities by allowing time for them to be with their friends without you, and by all means being yourself authentically: it is crucial you do not pretend you like everything they think or do, and especially do not verbalize you do! My all time favorite : drop the desire to play the blame game to try to make them wrong so you can sanctimoniously feel right!

Setting ground rules in any relationship is important. Since there is not a rulebook, it is important to express what YOU FEEL at the onset of a relationship. If you have not done this, when things start to get hairy it is a very good idea to re-state your wants/needs and voice your deal breakers. When we do not start a relationship of any kind with boundaries and our “rules” we will experience the relationship crumbling, and we will be faced with a choice to decide how much value the relationship holds for us..and if we want to sit down in discussion with the other or not.

What I have personally observed in inefficient unspoken rules within relationships are clearly poor communications where the other person “assumes” their partner or friend knows what is expected when it has never been discussed; and, passive-aggressive , power struggles result. Not always , but usually the case exists that the reason deal breakers have not been discussed is because no talk or no communication rules exist; and/or one of the involved has allowed the unacceptable behaviors to continue without opening their mouth to say it is unacceptable or uncomfortable. Healthy disagreements within any relationship are part of a growing relationship. When a resolution cannot be reached, perhaps it is time to walk away into the sunset without guilt or remorse even if a long history between you has been your experience. Even with that choice, would you use one of your unspoken rules and just walk away or would you voice what you have decided to do?

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Do You Go Out Of Your Way To Be The Nice One?

I am relatively sure I came into this world as a rebel, asking direct questions to every person who crossed my path in order to discover what was not being spoken. Part of that motive was because from birth I have been very intuitive to the point I literally see the energies of words spoken, and always knew when a person was holding back some information and/ or knew what was spoken did not exactly align with a person’s thoughts or body language. I thought either the person was being dishonest or they thought it was not safe to divulge their true thoughts with me. I cannot remember a time , even when I was four years old, that I did not think it was my right to uncover the person’s hidden motives. I have never been great at being diplomatic when I wanted answers!

What I later came to understand is those who practice conflict avoidance really are demonstrating deep rooted people pleasing behaviors grounded in a lifetime of fear of upsetting another! People who go to great lengths to keep the peace at all costs probably have baseless expectations of the other person reacting negatively toward them. In other words, the people pleasing- conflict avoider does not trust stating their wants, needs, opinions, or beliefs is safe so they came across as this sweet, super nice person with friends, partners, co-workers, supervisors, even their medical practitioners….going to great lengths to be sure not to cause dissension! In reality, unless the other is also a people pleasing- never rocking the boat communicative partner this person will ignore an issue, avoid a conversation, and change the subject…all avoiding and most likely stuffing their feelings as they look into their proverbial internal mirror and see a reflection of Miss or Mr. nice person!

The bottom line is this person puts on a fake smile, negatively affects many interpersonal relationships, increases the risk of developing depression/anxiety/ other medical conditions..and results in a prevention of intimacy.

When a person becomes willing to stand up for themselves by stating their true feelings, and opinions about any subject, a shift happens. When that person takes a risk to be the same in almost all situations instead of playing roles in different settings, their throat chakra begins opening because of authentic communications , and the possibilities of deeper, intimate relationships can transform. It is really about making vulnerable connections in speaking our truth.

Personally, I enjoy nurturing relationships with people who show they are listening, who give me the opportunity to hear their truth, who align with similar values, and who are not afraid to agree equally with disagreeing on a variety of topics.

In my mind and in the vision I carry for a different world. disagreeing with another is a keystone to understanding another. When we each face our fears and speak what is in our hearts, we have a closer alliance with being unified. Just because we do not always agree with each other is not a justification for exiting a relationship. That being said, I will tell you those who repeatedly feel the need out of insecurity and apprehensions to not speak up and who are in fear of telling me how they really feel inside create questions in my mind of the value of the relationship, and I do weigh the pros and cons of staying or leaving. As with other awarenesses that come to the surface in our search for being the best version of ourselves, practice makes progress, but first has to come the admission of what is needing tweaking and recalibration.

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Dare To Be The Best Version Of Yourself

Reflecting on my early childhood the moments I felt most alive were experiences and adventures embracing the great outdoors. I thrived climbing a pine tree not caring my Mother would not be happy with me that pine resin was stuck in my long, thick hair! As a curious child, I embraced and was filled with passion and the magical enchantment of the natural world. Then a few years of dysfunction entered my world. It took a while for me to reclaim myself , and reclaim I did!

I did not jumpstart my desire to become my best ME journey for any other reason than I felt this innate pull to find a way to become comfortable in my own skin . This has not been a quick transformation, and still is ongoing. Think of the huge change from a pupa to a butterfly and every single evolutionary step along the way. This was my destiny, and can be yours too ..if you are willing to dive off proverbial cliffs of unknown possibilities into deep canyons and oceans of self discovery to meet the you that you had no clue existed!

I offer some ideas. Vision the evolved you. Draw and write it on paper. Tell the kind of place you reside in detail. Describe your abilities, traits, and skills you own and offer to the world. Write affirmations in the present tense of specific activities you will be doing. For example, ” I am a person of physical, emotional, and spiritual strength by going to the gym and being of service daily to those who cross my path.”

Describe your friendships that supplement and resonate with your core values. Then , consider present people in your life that you are willing to walk away from with unconditional compassion because they demonstrate characteristics opposing your values. You don’t even have to have an inkling of a desire to change them or tell them why you need to create space between you. Furthermore, you probably do not have any emotional attachments to the friendships from which you desire to walk away. When we look at our inner truth of the level we value our connections with those we have allowed into our lives ( whether we have had a long or short history with them) as we practice self love for our core being, we will receive internal validation of needing to either set boundaries and/or decrease communications with them. Keep in mind everything is temporary, and perhaps just a pause for the present is needed. We may never want to completely burn bridges but taking an alternate route for ourselves in the moment often is an act of cherishing ourselves.

I personally am in the midst of a great transition of moving from a place that for four years has offered me isolated stillness of nature to a small, very cool town in which I can co-create community with new people. It all has flowed beautifully, and I believe daring to become a better version of myself is emerging . I feel I am a new species of lotus blossoming once again fueled by the waters of surrendering and shedding parts of my former self. I have jumped off similar proverbial cliffs before, usually with a bit of trepidation. This time I only feel excited as I unfurl my wings and fly into a place of contented joy.

There are still areas of my life needing refinement but as we all know, daring to be more of who we can be, just might prove we are miracles- in- the- making lasting until we leave this Earth- plane! I do hope you will join me on your own incredible journey of self discovery in meeting the best version of yourself. Safe travels!

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Living In A Time Now With Opportunities of Transformation

I have walked through many opportunities in my life. Some of them took me a while to see each situation as blessings and opportunities for immense change. I remember when President John F. Kennedy died. I marched in protest of the Vietnam War. I cried at racial injustice throughout my lifetime. I stood with other women not as a “feminist” but as sister of peace. I stood with men as a supporter of courage, sensitivity, and balance. I have watched divisions and separation of people from each other based on skin color, beliefs, opinions, and other situations. As a child who actively lived through the Sixties, even in my youth and pre-teen years, I believed we were each equals and reflections of each other.

I am completely convinced we of Humanity are being given the greatest opportunity of all time to embrace Unity, to stand together as we uphold our Core Values. I do not have to prove you wrong to make myself right. My and your ancestors were people who stood tall in the face of adversity. Their strength and perseverance paved the way to show us each there is another way to co-exist with all living things.

I often refer to the pandemic that showed up in 2000 as the time when the world changed. I have no doubt we , for decades, have vocalized something needs to change. Energy flows where attention goes. Ancient cultures taught the wisdom of embracing the Natural World as a teacher and that the balance of the Sacred Feminine/Sacred Masculine within each of our inner selves was a catalyst to achieving the Peace Within each being seeks.

We got so absorbed in getting ahead, in being Number One cloaked in the patterns of “Self” that we began leaving behind what we sought …connections with each other. We became obsessed with our electronic devices, the ability to rant and rave on social media, and the accepted verbal diarrhea of condemning those whose ideas and opinions differed from our own.

As I see it, more and more public displays of the Great Wake Up Reset are beyond the proverbial tap on our Collective Shoulders . The push is strongly felt by all that it is indeed a time of transformative opportunities to first do our own inner work surrendering all that truly does not serve us, and then, to come together in harmonic peace IN SPITE OF OUR DIFFERENCES.

Allowing short and long term relationships of all kinds to either thrive or be released, nurturing our planet and all its inhabitants, and being willing to release the “I am right, you are wrong Syndrome” via the power of the only real element: the power of Love and Light will be the legacy we can choose….or will we continue as a species to fall further into the depths of darkness believing this is our destiny?

Yes, it is the time with opportunities. My ancestors showed me strength comes from honoring my Personal Power and making viable choices with the awareness fueled by actions based on my Core Values. If I am practicing being true to myself with self love and self compassion, it is highly likely I will be offering this same opportunity to you, to Nature, and to the planet. It is not too late for the Collective to become the best version of ourselves. The question is sandwiched in Willingness and Courage. Light and Love or Bitterness and Resentments? Fear or Love? Being Comfortable In Our Own Skins or Shaking In Fear as we did when Tyrannosaurus Rex was about to enjoy us for dinner? Seize the opportunity or bury our heads in the sand? Choices.

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The Peace In Not Taking Things For Granted

I really want to want to believe I am a person who flows through life like a floating cloud detached from the material world. Then something happens such as the world changing in front of my surprised face giving me a golden opportunity to question if how I am living my life is the way I really want to live it!

Here is how the revelation came to me. First I began noticing products I have enjoyed using for decades were gone because companies who created them went out of business. Medical practitioners I had partnered with either shut down or re-located were no longer my option to enjoy. Disruptions in shipping having a direct impact on availability of merchandise I assumed was always there when I wanted it suddenly seemed to be in a state of lack. Then came the strangeness of not knowing if someone I passed on the street was smiling back at me because most of us were masked due to the COVID-19 Pandemic .

I conceded to the Universe that indeed my attention had been awakened to things I, Ms. Go With The Flow, had been taking for granted! I dove deeper. I see now yet another gift of how the world changed seemingly because of a virus was being shown to me. Actually this is just another layer of my proverbial onion that has continued to unpeel its layers since I became conscious of what is really true! I saw , and not with my initial reaction of jumping for joy, that those things (and people) I took for granted offered me yet another illusion…a false sense of security relating to permanence when in reality was not permanent or secure in the first place! The truth revealed is it was my emotional attachment to all I had been taking for granted!

So here came the question my committee who lives inside my head asked at one of our late night meetings: if I, the wise and powerful, knew nothing lasts forever, why oh why did I treat things, situations, and people as if they did?

Here came the positive news from this awareness. What if I made the intention and followed through in effortful grounding of the foundation of standing in the present moment? My inner Committee all shook their proverbial heads in affirming head nods of “Yes!”. In the Present moment I can see the value of relationships, things, and situations to a greater degree, and carry within myself the acceptance and solutions of change when change comes. After all, change is the only constant!

I am the first to admit living in the present is not easy. It is easier to create distractions that allow ourselves to wander aimlessly away from living in that place of specific things that matter the most. My great mind..really is responsible for most of my inner struggles and suffering and the Creator of that turmoil of the “What If Syndrome “. You know, what if I lose what I have or don’t get what I want!

I think I will return to being grateful for what and who is present in this moment, and minimizing taking for granted much of anything.

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Following The Path Beckoning You

I am comfortable today knowing I march to the beat of my own drum. Even as a child I knew I viewed the world with a different perspective. Please know that I would never consider myself to be a feminist. However, growing up as an intuitive visionary in the Southern United States, I curiously observed males culturally assigned to accepted roles and females following along especially in the South using sweet, endearing phrases suggestive of sugar melting in mouths. Although at times timid in my youth I was never one to keep quiet and go along with the crowd. I suspect those who did even decades ago were inwardly seething and stuffing their feelings as they chose a path of what appeared to be of the least resistance of safe choices. I used to believe this was only characteristic of females until the year the world changed and I watched in absolute shock and even disbelief of how many people of both genders in all cultures instead of following a path that probably had always been calling them, continued on a straight line of stuck and perhaps unfulfilled lives. Furthermore, I read their social media posts and heard statements verbalized of shifts happening but still the majority looked to me to be stuck in the old paradigm. Truly actions speak much louder than words!! Yes I know change can be scary but when we think and act as we always have, our reality of manifestation experiences what we always have gotten.

My opinion as an active proverbial cliff jumper who has many times in adulthood left my comfort zone to follow the path that not only beckoned me but screamed loudly that if I ( and we )stayed in a box created and forced upon by the old paradigm we would either become physically, emotionally, or mentally sick and/or become loud , unhappy, stressed verbal proponents of we must do life differently as we watch the destruction of humanity crumbling in front of us. Maybe people have to get gut wrenching angry to realize the path they are so entrenched in wearing the same old shoes of cemented quicksand of thoughts and ideas as they pretend to enjoy self imposed prisons of daily inner illusions is not working .

If you feel I am being extremely or even slightly judgmental perhaps the buttons I am pushing are only because your true path has been louder than your buying into the need to stay safe. Are you really safe? Long ago I heard it is never too late to have a happy childhood. My new mantra based on years of marching to the beat of my own drum is It is never too late to have a happy adulthood! Don’t create a new box…throw that box concept away, and risk following the path that summons you. You just might find when you jump off your cliff of ”safety” you will amazingly discover you had wings of freedom tucked inside your shoulders all along.

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The Importance of Being Transparent

There was a time in my adult life that I held back from certain people who I really was. I would present myself one way with certain friends and colleagues, and hide parts of myself from others. When I speak of transparency I am referring to being honest and open. Many people are wrapped up in a illusive sandwich of perfection and looking/sounding good, even to their closest allies. Most likely their apprehension to be transparent is cloaked in insecure fears and a lack of trusting themselves . As a result their personal power is squashed in a field of fearing to be vulnerable, and a deep seeded mistrust within themselves.

The day I stepped off my cliff of what I thought was protection, I became aware I had claimed wings of authenticity, and simultaneously made the decision to be the same in all settings. I began speaking from my heart, and did not need to hide any aspects of myself as I once had believed were necessary.

As I am reflecting on how freeing being transparent really is, I am aware of a few people in my life who are still intimidated by this. Though it seems that they judge various aspects of my life that I freely share, it is really their self judgment they are projecting onto me. I am an intuitive people observer and I often view these people making ostentatious statements of what they know about the world, and even voicing facts they believe about me! I am aware this trait is only their self protection of their insecurities and lack of self trust. Knowing this is really what is going on within them prevents me from disliking or judging their actions. I only am aware of this because before I was transparent this is exactly how I behaved in the world!

As a transparent woman I am empowered to be my best advocate of personal truths and as a result I continually attract connections with people who not only trust me, but also value me. Not sure if it is the chicken-egg story of what came first…did I trust and risk myself to be vulnerable and transparent first or did I first attract people who were showing me being transparent and claiming core values in almost all areas of their lives was a message of being authentically real ? Most of my current tribe of close friends are those who do trust themselves, are transparent and vulnerable, and truly exude their authenticity. At times I am challenged by those who choose not to be this way, but believe in my heart perhaps they , too, one day will jump off their own proverbial cliff of what they perceive to be self protection, and become vulnerable, and maybe not be wound so tightly.

Long ago I learned to ask myself questions and these three questions really increase and validate my choice in being transparent :

  1. Is how I share and respond with people honoring who I have become?
  2. Does being vulnerable prevent me from trying to be a people pleaser?
  3. Does sharing the honest truth of who I am make me feel comfortable in my own skin?

Unearthing the hole of needing to hide was like finding a buried treasure and opened to me the truth that transparency is important and part of the me I always wanted to be but did not know where to start.

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Claiming Peace In A Chaotic World

In the midst of global upheaval cloaked in suffering and chaos the Collective Consciousness is wrapped in fearful anticipations of what may be our future. Since mid 2020 I have watched as those in spiritual communities spouting their way is THE way, those in challenging medical situations, conspiracy believers, those who have lost hope, as well as visionaries who hold steadfast to the inner wisdom we of Humanity are experiencing the Great Re-Set. Intense emotions of hate, anger, fear, frustration, powerlessness, confusion, and sadness seem to block so many from a feeling of safety and inner serenity. How can we each resolve our struggle with finding inner peace?

Trust me when I tell you I am not blind to what is going on in the external world. However, having walked through a series of life altering situations that I was sure would not end in my own survival, I am a witness that claiming and owning inner peace is not only possible but is attainable for each of us. That being said, if we do what we have always done, we will get what we have always gotten.

I have come to believe that peace begins with the L word..no, not lust, longing, or light. What I believe is , it is about love. The greater emphasis and actions I take in getting out of my head recycling my feelings and the Woe is Me Syndrome, and putting my focus on sharing unconditional compassion and love with others, the more it is possible to claim and experience peace. This is not easy, but when we make an intentional choice to surrender our fear and anger and allow what we think we understand to unfold in the present, we just might be amazed at how our internal world changes.

Practice makes progress has been my mantra for many years. Since I am still a human at times I forget what works so I take the time when in a place of peace to write on sticky notes and on paper my solutions.

1. Believing peace is my birthright, I can claim it in any moment. I say aloud..I claim peace. I have this phrase on notes I stick on the wall, in my car, and on my desk.

2. State and write those things I currently have in my life for which I can express gratitude.

3. Spend time alone with nature.

4. Accept what is , especially those things and people I have no control over.

5. Transmute and change my addictions into preferences. An addiction is any desire that results in my lack of contentment if and when it is not satisfied. Example: if I get emotionally bent out of shape when I expect someone to change a behavior and they don’t, then my addiction is to control and have others bow down and go along with my request and wishes.

6. Make effective use of willpower to choose positive thoughts, and when negative ones pop in, pause.. switch to those mental thoughts that bring me serenity and peace.

7. Be selective with the people , social media, and news you allow to filter into your mind and life. Practice saying No. Verbalize: I do not choose this at this moment.

8. Offer help to another or to an animal without expecting to receive anything back as a compensation. In other words, be of service.

You may discover by practicing some simple techniques that you have more control over your amazing self than you have previously thought, and why not, once you see what works, tell your solution to another!

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Nature Is Waiting To Teach Us But Are We Listening?

I think I knew from my earliest childhood memory that nature was available to me for internal calming. No matter how many times old insecurities pop up when I am making every effort to do adulting as a together child of the sixties, it never fails to amaze me that the misplaced key to unlock my frustrations is walking through that magical portal of Nature and the Natural World!

My arrogant ego mind will try to convince me that I can figure out some brilliant strategy to step off the insecurity treadmill of not being good enough, not making the right decisions and choices, or looking in a mirror and seeing a flawed, distorted body image instead of the beautiful goddess reflecting back to me. Incredibly , I can escape my old tapes , my false beliefs and connect with nature, and come back home to discover I have been transformed into a lovely being comfortable in her own skin once again!


Nature , I know, is the greatest teacher in existence! She offers the ability to be at peace even during a ravishing storm. She demonstrates repeatedly how to be comfortable with herself as she is. She voices she does not have to be in a rush to evolve and change yet reaches her accomplished goals. She helps us remember beauty and incredible visual images do not have a price tag . She grants peace in the presence of all our real and imagined troubles with unconditional love, without asking for something in return. She proves again and again size does not determine greatness as she shows an airborne floating dandelion floret or the magnified expression of a snowflake.

The next time you look at the changed world as out of control and unfair, try walking away from your electronic devices and step into the magical world of nature and watch your problems melt into glorious transitions of the beauty that only nature has a way of transforming your angst into awe.

Nature is always waiting on human interactions and it pleases her so when we actually take the time to listen and experience freedom of internal joy. Are we listening?

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Stop Looking Outside Of Yourself For Your Security

Have you ever been doing your practices and activities that work to keep you in balance only out of the blue those inner demons jump out with pitchfork in hand, poking holes in your happiness? I truly believe in these times, and I can be just as guilty as the rest of you, that I have bought into the illusion and deception that my self worth, my inner security, my being comfortable in my own skin is to be found by going to people/situations/things outside of myself! There I go searching everywhere for bread crumbs of validation, love, and contentment just so I can feel I matter, I am good enough, and I am amazing! That old tape has once again whispered to me that attention from a current or potential romantic partner, spending money on some piece of art, getting 15 likes on my social media post, or my co workers or friend telling me how special I am will be the key of my missing link to fulfill those times of feeling less than, rejected, or inferior.

Way back in my precious childhood I depended on my caregivers and others and any sense of rejection or invalidation felt like the fatal stabbing of my vulnerable heart. Because many of us were repeatedly hurt, rejected, and insecure (because we did not have the handbook to be powerful warriors yet) we carried feelings of shame and guilt into adulthood with skewed perceptions of who we really were. I am not here to blame any of those in authority roles for I truly believe they each did the best they could in raising us. They did not have the handbook either! However, until we find solutions to embrace our emotional wounds and claim compassion for ourselves, we often run around seeking approval and validation from especially others. When we carry this insecure need like a sack of rocks dragging behind us and heavily on our shoulders, we search outside of ourselves for the answers. The downside to believing others can fulfill us and make us feel good about who we are is we are allowing them to determine our self worth. The consequence is we do not trust our own opinions, thoughts, and feelings . We claim in our internal sanctum others have our answers and know more then we do and their ideas are more meaningful than our own. Over repeated periods of time of carrying around this false truth, we present as needy and beg for validation outside of ourselves crying for THEM to announce we are okay!! The magical answer, however, my friends, is we each have within us the power to validate ourselves! There are times we do remember this, and we walk through our journey in this thing called life, feeling proud, contented, and inspired of the Who we have involved into and become.

Perhaps if we knew some things that will pull us out of the hole we have dug and climbed into we would experience less the need to go outside of ourselves for our self approval and self validation. We could:

  • Accept our emotions and feelings without judgement as each comes up.
  • Remember our feelings are not who we are. Feelings come and go and are always temporary. Breathe-accept and acknowledge feelings-exhale- move forward.
  • Affirm your authentic true self with statements such as: I am worthy. I am much more than my accomplished performed acts and my experienced failures or setbacks. I trust my inner wise person within as my intuition gives me insightful messages. I do not have to like everyone and everyone does not have to like me. We each do and will make mistakes that we can see as opportunities from which to grow.
  • Change your inner self talk to words and expressed communications as if you were talking to a close friend. What would you tell him/her in a similar situation?

Each time we practice giving ourself validation, self love, compassion, and acknowledging our own worth it is yet another insurance marker in lifting ourselves up and helping to need less going outside of ourselves to find our personal truth. I believe with all my heart and soul we each are so worthy and amazing. We just forgot to remember! We could even go a step further and remind one another of this !

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The Nurturing of Nature

Most of us enjoy spending time in nature whether it is hiking, running, walking, or driving through scenic vistas. The pleasure of experiencing a deep canyon, a forest cascaded by radiant light showering through trees, a snow-covered mountain, a park shared with mischievous squirrels and symphonic birds, or the inviting flowing rhythms of an ocean or river. We walk along enjoying the surroundings, but how often do we actually feel the connection to each element of nature? This opportunity presented to us each and every time we allow ourselves to break free from our electronics , our to do lists, our multitudes of mental chatter by allowing the creative alliance with nature to touch us in a deep way offers an inner sanctuary unlike any other aspect of life!

If you have never had the experience to become aware while in nature as you gaze upon a rock, a plant, a tree, or a mound of earth to be overtaken with reflective thoughts that you are not unlike these simple and beautiful pieces of nature , I urge you to view nature in a different manner. When we have what seems sudden and awe striking revelations of our existence being no different than that which we observe with all our senses in the stillness of nature, we become nurtured by nature. Being nurtured by nature in this way , in my experience , has opened a new and exciting world …a world in which birds, deer, butterflies don’t see me as an invader of their environment , but an actual part of it. When this magic happens the creatures of the natural world brush against my skin, connect with me as I connect with them!

If you are willing to step out of your busy life , I would like to suggest some simple new ways to connect with nature :

*Change your thinking and you change your reality and manifestation of experiences. Nature is not just something separate from your environment..it is part of you as much as you are part of it. One tiny example is the oxygen you breathe 24/7 is an equal relationship of life force between humans and trees creating a crucial facet for each other to thrive and live. Begin thinking of how we each are nature herself, and she is us! Go into your chosen place in nature alone. When we are with others in nature we tend to talk to each other; thus, depriving ourselves of the opportunity to connect fully with the nature with which we are present.

* Use your instinctive observational skills you were born with…vision-hearing-touching-smelling, moving your body. Look around you with childlike wonder. I believe this simple method will awaken the deep aspects within and you will know nature in a different way.

*Choose a place to sit with your back against a tree or a large rock. Breathe in the quietude. Just observe. Express your gratitude to nature for this precious time.

Allowing nature to nurture us will add layers of calmness, reduce our anxiety and stress, and inspire us to do it more often!

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Setting Intentions For New Year

Long ago I became aware that making New Year’s resolutions restricted my free spirit within! Intentions keep me focused and empower me to act upon them . Even with my best intentions I have found myself distracted unless I can find ways to maintain my focus. I do use many things that help. I always create a Vision Board in which I draw symbols, words, phrases, and objects with various colored pens, markers, pastels what I desire to surrender (on full moons) and set intentions I wish to manifest (on New Moons). I never make my boards by cutting out pictures from magazines. I find drawing images accesses a different part of my active brain power and works better for me! Vision Boards need to be kept simple…if we put too much on one board our brain sees cluttered ideas and the focus or intent is much like chatter boxing ! I keep my created Vision Board where I will see it frequently and daily..in this way my brain receives the intended information and can actively create specific actions bringing intentions into fruition.

Sometime back I heard about picking a word of the year as a better substitute for resolutions. I tried it and fell in love with the idea! Now every year I pick my signature Word of the Year. Here is how I do it…Between around Christmas and the first of the year I go into my Quietude space and reflect upon the expanded Me I want to become more of for the year. I write many words that come up that will characterize who I want to see as my authentic self by the end of the year. This is not about accomplishing anything..rather it is more about how I would like to evolve to be a better version of myself.

If none of the words on my word list seem to resonate within myself, I do not put pressure that I must have the perfect word! I leave it alone and come back to it in a few days or even a week later.

Once I have my word of the year, I put it on a vision board, write it on sticky notes, put it on the outside of my current journal and my dream journal book. I write my word frequently, repeating it . This word of the year becomes a single word mantra! It serves to ground me into a calm focus and reminds my brain who I truly want to become in the manifestation of my amazing life!

In case you are at a loss for your own word of the year, here are some examples: Resilient, Health, Abundance, Humble, Gratitude, Strength, Joy, Forgiving, Listening, Creative. There are thousands of choices!

My word for 2022 is HOPE. Intentions instead of goals or resolutions work so much better. As evidence I have experienced opportunities and manifested areas of my health, relationships, career, fun, and travel! To know if something works I look at the outcome. Does it bring me closer to being the best version of myself or does it take me further from it?

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REFLECTIONS

Before we jump headfirst into the New Year, perhaps we may take some precious time to reflect upon the year we have just experienced. I honor the wisdom and teachings of those Ancient Civilizations that existed in history. Perhaps you , like I, are considering taking some of the areas of past history into your own evolutionary and revolutionary lives. Many of the great civilizations utilized technologies and techniques equal and surpassing our own. The incredible structures of pyramids, temples, and geometric designs tapped into knowledge of quantum physics that we are really just at a core beginning to integrate within our routine systems.

Even with the advanced systems and information in place ancient civilizations fell apart. There clearly were reasons for the crumbling and demise of magnificent cultures and civilizations. Primarily, greed-the obsessive need to exert Power over others-out of control egos- and divisions of the populations including sacred feminine and sacred masculine aspects, ethnicities, gender, race, and other aspects.

Perhaps, you may want to reflect upon the year and your personal experiences . In what specific ways have you demonstrated greed, obsessions to exert personal power, listening and following your ego’s suggestions, and areas you have aligned with separating yourself from other groups of people? Where did you practice more effective ways of living your life? Did you embrace nature more? Did you welcome the opportunity of stillness and quietude when changes of the world continued? How have your interpersonal relationships changed and evolved? Did you willingly or begrudgingly allow those relationships no longer aligning with your Highest Good drop ? How have your communications with yourself and with others been altered? In what ways did you express your creativity or did you resist creative activities ? Did you accomplish your set intentions or did you put various things on hold? How has your life changed ?

I personally carry an opinion for myself that if I am willing to reflect upon where I have been in my life journey and choose to learn from it without beating myself with a proverbial 2×4 , but honoring each step along the way , I can become a better version of myself.

Leonardo da Vinci said : “I love those who can smile in trouble, who can gather strength from distress, and grow brave by reflection.” When we can choose to reflect upon what worked, what did not work, and how we can creatively design a flexible (not rigid) intention of prosperity of all areas in our lives, I do believe the outcome can be brighter and more fulfilling. I welcome with hope the best me and the best you we can be so our collective vision of the best new world, not a return to the way it was, can manifest right before our very wide, curious eyes!!

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Looking For Ideal Partner? : Start With YOU

So many of us think that our ideal mate is out there somewhere…if we could only find him/her. We do dating sites, meet up groups, social media, even re-visit former relationships! We think somehow, some way we will find that perfect someone who will be the Prince to our inner Cinderella ! We walk around cloaked in our illusion that the missing pieces, the unfulfilled parts of ourselves, and the answer to our yearnings will be magically manifested in Prince or Princess Charming. The truth is until we cultivate an intimate relationship with ourself, we will miss that connection we so crave. A lonely person who enters a relationship is a lonely person in a relationship. A person denying intimacy with themselves will not have an intimate relationship with another. You may think intimacy is having sex. No. True intimacy has these juicy components: vulnerability- trust-honesty-acceptance-validation. Before delving further, ask yourself do you trust yourself to make good decisions? Do you accept and love the good- bad- beautiful-ugly- the shadow and light sides of yourself? Do you validate yourself on a regular basis? Are you honest about who you really are in those quiet moments when alone and not distracted? Can you be vulnerable with yourself by expressing and exposing your feelings, saying what you want or need, being present without needing to distract yourself? These reflective questions will provide starting points for inner work.

When we know who we really are , we are comfortable in our own skin. When that happens we can be intimate with just about anyone. We do not need to find someone to fix our broken pieces because we are not broken! We do not need to find a broken counter person because they are not broken either! It is never about THEM anyway…it is about our self love, self honoring, self validation, and having a love affair with the guy or chick we see looking back at us in the mirror. After all, every relationship is just a reflection of who we are.

Where to begin————commitment and intention to do inner work

  1. Take a deep breath. Look in a mirror straight into your eyes. Introduce yourself to you. 2. Begin listening to yourself..your self talk, your feelings, etc. Do this over time, and it becomes a practice. 3. Take responsibility for your choices. This is major! Start by making a choice to be happy instead of needing to be right! 4.Start practicing those things that feed your soul, that make you feel good. You might want to write out those things. This is Self-care! 5. Put pauses throughout your day every day. This free time with yourself offers times to check in, to connect, to find gratitude and peaceful, happy occurrences. Remember the phrase Stop and smell the coffee? 6. Surrender the inner critic within. Life is not meant to be a race or a test. 7. Do things that give you PLEASURE: physical, emotional, spiritual, mental. 8. Be gentle with yourself. This inner work takes time, but it is so worth it!

Self intimacy is a gateway, a portal to harmonious, safe, and fulfilling relationships with others. Imagine a world of people so comfortable in skins that they actually enjoy each other’s company!

This idea came to me in a reflective meditation once. Feel free to borrow it. “When I allow you and myself to be who we each need to be in the present moment, I have no need to judge you or want to change you to fit my preconceived agenda.It really is about love and more love!

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Honoring Ourselves By Creating Our Unique Holiday Traditions

     It is my heartfelt belief we each deserve to celebrate this time of year in the way that reflects who we are in the present. That means celebrating, choosing to be alone, celebrating with family or friends, celebrating with spiritual groups, or not celebrating.
     Being a creative spirit who marches to the beat of her own drum, several years ago it occurred to me that my true self did not require the past holiday traditions of my culture or family of origin. I decided it would be a self loving act to create my own unique holiday traditions. To determine what would work for me, I asked myself some questions.
– Were there any childhood holiday traditions memories that stood out as happy thoughts?
– What did I want to include in my new traditions?
– Did I want to include others or just include myself?
     It became crystal clear I no longer chose to be trapped emotionally in the stigma of the holiday traditions of others. After all, I do not live my current life based on the way others live theirs, so why would I choose to experience the holiday season with the traditions of anyone else? Of course, if I wanted to do what others were doing, that would be appropriate, too!
     So, here is what I created:
     1. Because I am so connected to nature, I went into the woods and requested the elementals and nature beings  to help me honor them. I was gifted with pine boughs and pine cones, holly and red berries, and a small log. I added candles around these treasures, creating an holiday altar on my hearth.
    2. Each morning during December I dedicate time, compassion, and food to the animals I co-exist with in my wooded residence.
    3. Each night I made a commitment to sit in front of the fireplace and write in my journal , honoring the Fire Element, by expressing the things and ideas that ignite me that I am passionate about. I also offered thanks to each aspect of what/who is present in my life , gathered all that love into my heart, and sent it out into the world to all beings.
    4. Lastly, I made a decision to take  myself to a Winter Solstice Celebration with like hearted people.
     Reclaiming our holiday by creating our original, unique traditions and rituals  can be a loving way to avoid stress of old memories that do not muster peace, and is a gift to both our inner children and adult presence.

 

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The Importance of Listening And Cooperating With Our Inner Messages

For a few years I have known in my heart and mind that we hold all our own answers within. We receive continuous messages from our intuition, our cells, our organs, every part of us. The Ancient Ones in past civilizations and cultures knew this crucial fact, and taught this sacred knowledge to all. We have often forgotten.

I consider myself healthy in my diet, my exercise regiment, and my daily spiritual practices. Recently I became quite ill and could not tolerate much of anything solid in the form of food. I am a Reiki Master, Sound Healing Practitioner, Daily Meditator, and practice Ancient Shamanic modalities. Of course I offered my body,mind, and spirit my own practices and reached out to other healing facilitators I have trust in. I also received unsolicited  and unhelpful advice and suggestions as to why I was sick.

I incorporate and welcome Western Medicine with Alternative  Medicine . My illness began two months ago and gradually progressed in a downward spiral. I went to my Integrative Medicine Doctor who suggested diagnostic tests, and , as always, he honored the fact I listen to my own body and intuition.

My body was telling me it was my time to come to a resting place, to receive instead of my usual M.O. of giving  help to others and holding Sacred Space for the Collective in our time of world chaos. As if I had a choice, and it became clear I did not, I stopped my activities. My body became weaker each day. I lived for close to a month on green juice, water, and broth. I did have a C-T scan, bloodwork, and an endoscopy. Most of the tests showed nothing was wrong with me. I listened without judgement but was weak. My body slept 10-11 hours a night. I experienced incredible Dreamtime each night, and even slept and dreamed during the day. I did finally receive a medical diagnosis of an abdominal, curable condition.

Through this experience I was not afraid, but at times was frustrated ; however, I continued listening to my dreams, my inner messages, and welcomed the support of my large tribe of friends and loved ones.

The messages of the Ancient Ones kept telling me to honor the change from Summer into Autumn, to be like the Wise trees that serve as my protection and guardians on the incredible property on which I live. I felt, just like the strong oaks, willows, and pines I was shifting in my beliefs, perceptions, and energies. When we allow ourselves to let go of trying to figure out logically what has no logical answers, and to trust the  Ancient Teachings ,Wisdom of Nature ,and Natural Laws to unfold, incredible events come to pass. Our world has changed and those who try to use prior ways to work through current situations just may discover those ways are now archaic, and no longer valid. Using the old ways will bring more fear, more anger, and more frustration. We must be willing to embrace a new paradigm if we are to live in peace and harmony today.

As I recently have begun able to eat food again, and returned to a gentle yoga practice, I see the necessity of this illness. I wonder maybe sometime img_3852 I asked for clarity, for inner answers to questions I did not consciously know to ask. I am grateful for the sickness that brought me to a screeching halt for it came with great gifts and blessings of surrender, of detoxification, of deeper trust and faith. I did release a couple of people I thought were supportive friends  during the short illness when I discovered they really were not supportive at all. My vibrational level has changed…theirs had stayed back in the past. I do not judge their path. Those relationships, too, have been part of my Autumn clearing and awakening.

Each experience I am blessed to witness continues to be an opportunity, a catalyst of ascension toward a new world, for we who have awakened, and to those gradually joining us. Sometimes we just have to stop and let natural cleansing lift us out of our old skins, and into a new sense of wonder. It does require mustering courage to be vulnerable enough to be transformed into a better version of ourselves. I often do not see the Warrior I was born to be for the purpose of sharing my experiences.. to lead another soul out of their own shadows..until I finally find the hidden doorknobs and walk into a brighter light. We are in this together, my friends. Let’s not give up just yet.