Co-existence In Peaceful Resting

When my life changed ,as did the rest of the world’s with 2020’s Panademic, I entered a period of adjustment. My home is in an area surrounded by a lush bounty of nature. I assure you I love big cities and the cultural amenities cities give me. I love to travel. My plan for the past year was to be camping in my favorite New Mexico remote canyon in June.That plan was altered. The Panademic definitely has impacted my financial status. I could be moaning and complaining about what continues to be an “unprecedented time” . I do march to the beat of my own drum, and because of that fact, perhaps I view the world differently than many.
I began my adjustment with looking deeply into what needed to be re-set , what was imbalanced In me ; where I might be experiencing disconnecting areas of personal relationships. Because I have been embracing the Ancient Ways of living my life in connection with the wisdom of nature, it was only natural and sacred for me to observe how Nature was using the time of Re-set. It did not take long to see Nature was flourishing into peaceful surrender and resting . She did not stop her blossoming of new growth in the Spring, welcoming budding plants, flowers, and birthing of new wildlife as animal parents nurtured their extended families. She continued her natural process as Summer set in. However, something, indeed, was different. Not only was the phenomenal Re-set happening in the forest I call home, but the miraculous environmental changes have been globally felt. The slower pace of human activities, though incorporating sickness and death,economic angst, and in many cases increased fears has brought social issues such as racism and long histories of unfair treatment of blacks, gender discrimination, and unscrupulous actions of police and governmental bodies out in the open.
The more I delved into my own beliefs and attitudes, the more I saw the silver lining of how the peaceful resting of nature has invited each of us to
co-exist differently in a new world. We will never return to the way the world was prior to the 2020 Panademic. Not only is nature flourishing ,but in spite of aggression, even violence, protests, destruction of statues depicting glorification of enslaved minorities..we as humanity are gradually flourishing! I believe it is because instead of us vs them or us vs nature, we in our slower co-existence with all beings, can no longer deny we, nature, and the changed world are not separate entities. We are nature. Nature is us. We are awakening. We called this in. We did not expect it to unfold in the way it has, but we repeatedly stated the words, and words have power:” The world of greed, destruction of the environment, imbalance of all elements has to change! “
So here we are learning to co-exist in the time of forced stillness, the time of forced inner balance, and the time of no more denial. Instead of fighting AGAINST broken systems, hatred among people, we are given one— if not the greatest opportunity humanity has ever witnessed…we can stand FOR kindness, resolution, and balance with the co-existence with our brotherhood-sisterhood we have craved since time began.. I thank nature for opening the door allowing us to see first in animals, plants, air, waters, and land how peaceful resting can be the portal to co-existence with all of us together as one United, Integrated Species.


You speak with platitudes with words that indeed have Power and Energy. My question to you this day is what will you allow? Will you allow yourself to surrender and release all the animosity, the judgements, the self righteous opinions, and come together with your fellow brothers and sisters, with all of Humanity as one Species with One Loving Collective Intention….or will you continue to point fingers of blame , to demand others live life your way and by your unspoken rules? Will you continue to glorify your wisdom and acts or will you step into the Light of true Authenticity? Will you allow yourself to exhale and to Be The Love you claim to seek? Go deep within and search earnestly for what will open each of our doorways…we have an opportunity in this enforced stillness to join together…or choose to separate into the hole of Hell labeling it Knowledge. What will we each allow?

The Underlying Truth

I have been observing people I thought I knew well during the enforced quarantine of 2020 seemingly change. As I observed I came to the conclusion no one has changed…each has only become more of who they already were. Several friends and acquaintances have taken on the role of scientists, physicians, and Gods. People I only saw inklings of these shadow roles have jumped on proverbial bandwagons touting and spouting their greatness and their beliefs that their way is the only way to believe and present to the world. I have experienced significant changes in a few friendships, and a few I have walked away from while a few have walked away from me. I learned long ago I can shut the door on any situation, any relationship, but never to put the deadbolt lock on that door. One just never knows what may need to change, revisit, and reform within ourselves.

My own self observations have been assessed and I continue to believe in shining the light on humanity, holding the vision of a humanity of equality, and holding the intention, the best I can, of loving my brotherhood-sisterhood where each is at the moment. This at times challenges me but I continue striving. Being willing to accept even those who have attacked me and others personally , verbally blatantly and subtly has opened a door of frustration and pain I have carried since my teen age years. I applaud the Universe for opening this can of worms! I applaud those whose passions have resulted in uncorking the bottle of false illusions, denial, and unresolved grief. I celebrate the huge deception of humankind that we are separate beings. We are awakening, some of us slower than others, and some of us fighting to hold on tightly with the evidence of our long claw marks resisting change.

I read today that perfectionism is a form of self destruction, and I am adding to this definition, self sabotage. Those of us who have been suffering with this belief that we must be perfect and do life perfectly underneath that umbrella only have a tight carriage hidden , we hope, to minimize all those feelings of shame, guilt, blame and judgement. Therefore, so many in the collective consciousness demand to show each other and the world how it is all needing to look, how it should evolve.

Perhaps we can loosen that tight harness we have placed around our own neck and the spine of others by letting it unfold as it needs to…by looking into the eye of each of other fellow beings…and saying gently..You, too are my brother and my sister. You, too, are part of me. Then by looking in the mirror deeply at our own eyes without blinking and saying: I welcome the unity of humanity without choosing to be separated by any aspect. I am enough. You are enough. Together we are whole. Ahhhh as I exhale the need to make it turn out the way my ego demands …I can finally breathe and become love itself.

Why We Are Living In Land Of Chaos

Has it occurred to you that the perceptions you have of who you are affect how you treat others? I have questioned most of my life why prejudice, racism, and the strong need to dominate another whether it has to do with color, race, gender, ethnicity, religion, or beliefs of any kind exists. For one to feel superior to another, which establishes an inherent desire and self induced entitlement to have domination over another group or single person ,it is because the one wanting to squash another into powerlessness feels the other to be a perceived threat. I have long had a magnet that states “if I am alright with me, I have no need to make you wrong.” The underlying issue is fear driving the person wanting to prove the perceived person is beneath them , and needs to be put in their place, controlled, even extinguished . Really it is that the unhealed insecurity, inferiority, and feelings of inadequacy empower them to behave through actions proving they are above and better than those they attempt to oppress.

In normal child development a child seeks acceptance, validation, and approval between the ages of five to twelve. Not getting these needs met often results in the birth of a sense of insecure inferiority. Unless this is resolved as the person goes through life, actions and behaviors will reflect the need to dominate over another.

I am a white woman who grew up in the sixties. I say I never saw color, but you know that is not exactly true. Of course I saw the difference in my skin color and another. What I did not understand was how could it be anywhere near right for a person to be treated less than because they were not white. I really got it by the time I was a high school freshman that I was given freely white privilege and my black friends were not, and I abhorred and hated this fact. I felt bad for people of color but no black person wants our sympathy. What is wanted is to TELL THE TRUTH . We need to call out people, our friends, our family, our co-workers who practice racism and prejudice. We need to admit we as white people have always been granted special privileges in our societies. We need to wake up and scream from the rooftops America and all countries , we have a big problem..we treat people of color differently and it has to stop! We are each equal . Say that repeatedly until your heart gets it. To my black friends I want to say loudly I, White woman of privilege, am sorry! I am not sorry you are of a different color. I am sorry you were not afforded the same privileges as I have been freely given, and I vow to do all I can to be part of the solution in changing this . I vow to call people out who I see treating you beneath them, on police racially profiling, maiming, even killing anyone solely on an unhealed need to dominate because of race and skin color. I vow to listen to every word of my oppressed brothers and sisters and stand with, for, and beside you as a reflection of myself because you are a Divine reflection. We are One species, and our land of chaos can be healed. It MUST start with telling the truth. Black lives matter because we are equal. If my words make you uncomfortable and disgustingly angry, I am glad. At least somewhere within you, you are recognizing your part in a very long standing problem, and just maybe you will become part of the healing of humanity.

What Drives Your Choices?

    When  I was younger I allowed my my problems, my pain(body), my issues, my false self to be the fuel behind my choices in jobs, relationships, where I volunteered, and in my actions. My emotions and feelings drove my choices.
     What I have come to understand and claim is when I compromise my core values, the result almost always ends up in my feeling defeated, less than, burned out, lacking self confidence and self worth, and genuinely stressed out!
     Somewhere along my path of living life it became crucial that I discovered what exactly were my core values and how did I keep compromising myself. I came up with some self questions to find out the answers. No one could do this for me. I had to get real with myself.
     Here are only two questions I have embraced whether it is a company I work for, a relationship I am engaged in, or a situation I devote my time and energy with.
 1. What is important to me?   2. What do I get from these things?
     Knowing just these two critical things empowers and enables me to assess if the job, the friendship, the partnership, or the situation aligns with my core values. Only then will my inner motivation, that fuels and drives me express to the Universe and to myself my values. Only then will I be truly at peace, comfortable in my own skin, and be non-conflicted within all the areas that make up my life.
     My personal greatest core values are integrity, communication( both listening and verbalizing), honesty, self-respect, commitment, authenticity, freedom, creativity, kindness, self-discipline, risk taking and courage.
     Once a year, or more frequently ,if I find myself in conflict in any area, I look at these values, assessing if I am compromising myself.
     You may want to ask yourself if you are compromising your values in one or more areas of your life. Remember denial is not a river in Egypt! Do you care if you are compromising ? Is it really worth it?  In my mind, if I am compromising my values for any reason it changes my passions and my very soul!

The Courage and Power of Neutrality

Recently in my Dreamtime  I was shown faces of a multitude of people. Part of them were horrifically paralyzed in fear. Another group were angrily trying to yank the fearful along with a third group of undecided people into a dark burial pit. Then I saw a row of  eleven large boulders with a single white eagle perched on each rock, wings spread, with their majestic eyes gazing forward.
When I awakened a quote from the Sufi poet Rumi entered my mind: “ somewhere beyond right and wrong there is a garden. I will meet you there.” What this means to me is instead of pointing the finger of blame at someone else, I can choose to find common ground that does not attach judgment or emotions to it. This mystical
“garden” that Rumi speaks of is the place of neutrality. To some, neutrality is complete denial, turning one’s head away from the situation, pretending  it does not even exist. To others neutrality means sitting on an indecisive, proverbial fence, not able or willing to take a stand.
In my life there have been times when I have left a situation I have been called aloof, distantly detached. I don’t believe this is an accurate assessment of who I am.
When I know I am complete with a relationship, a situation, or an experience I initially speak my opinion but before I walk away, and simply emotionally detach from the other person and the experience. I then enter a place of neutrality. Even if the person or situation invite me to return, to try it again, I remain calmly detached in neutrality. Just before I get to the state of detached neutrality I am in a crosstie – it does not matter if I stay or if I go. Then I enter neutrality. Once I am finished and complete with the experience I move forward, having no reason to revisit or look back again.
To me the gift of neutrality is not a severing or even a farewell. It is similar to how I think my final exhale from my human body will be when I leave this earth…… Complete and done.

Exhaling With Dignity

I have long known nature is my greatest teacher. During the past six weeks I have been given multiple opportunities to re-assess my life in grateful periods of stillness. When we are willing to watch and learn from nature we are given a visual classroom of how letting go of the prior existences of the physical opens doors for new transformations to emerge. An important lesson:  Nature has no need to cling and let go unwillingly with claw marks.

As I continue to surrender old ways of living life, situations that have become stale and disharmonious, I am able to exhale with new and welcoming breaths of awakened awareness. The result is more freedom of spirit within.

A few people I was confident I had released have reappeared lately. My inner Wise Higher Self at these times has presented me with the question “Are you sure you are finished with this?” My answer for each has been to see the humor in the reappearances, gratefully brushing off the residue of my past, and keep walking forward on my journey.

    When we see the amazing energy that claiming  the exhalation of letting go without any emotional attachment ,the practice of surrendering will become not just something we need to do, but will be an integral alignment with our co-creation of our Authentic Self alive in each precious moment. 

Surrendering has become increasingly seductive and I want more present moments of the conscious breath of awakening!


The Renaissance Of Resilience

Definition of resilience: the process of Adapting well in the face of adversities.
      I have experienced mental (clinical depression which no longer is present in my mind – body – spirit) and emotional ( addictions of which I have been in active recovery from for over thirty four years; dysfunctional relationships, and, PTSD stemming from trauma in my early years from which also I have healed completely) adversities. Other human adversities I have not personally experienced that others have lived through are social, financial, physical, and spiritual adversities. There was a long period in my life that the mental and emotional adversities had great power over me, becoming a proverbial ball and chain wrecking machine taking me into dark and deep abysses.
     Somewhere along my journey I hit my emotional bottom of allowing life situations to toss  me into the despair and hopelessness I was beaten into and about. I cannot tell you which straw broke the camel’s back, but the day did come that I made the decision to do life differently. I became a fiery phoenix rising from the ashes of my former powerless life.
     Much of the strength I embrace today has come from teachings of trees I have known… as I observed them Swaying in the wind without breaking, teaching me the Superpower of flexible bending. For quite some time when people and situations challenge me, my persistence and resilience anchor me ,even in the face of fear , to bend without crumbling.
     I have long heard the Universe will match the vibration I put out and that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear! I have been a witness of both of these truths several different times during the past few years.
     What I know deeply within my heart today is:
-A challenge or difficulty is an opportunity to learn from, not a situation to devastate  and paralyze me to my core
-Optimism and an attitude of gratitude strengthens my internal roots , empowering me to believe setbacks are only temporary, never permanent.
-Finding and participating in a trustworthy tribe of  a cheerleading network of supporters will increase my resilience, especially during the storms of life.
     My Renaissance of resilience was an earth shaking awakening that jolted me out of victimhood into a virtual springboard of positive actions.
      Being resilient does not mean challenges, heartbreak, or adversity don’t exist. Resiliency is a tool that can be developed, learned, and used in all life experiences.
     A few key resilience traits I have observed in myself and others are      
– The Ability to claim and name the struggle; never denying it doesn’t exist
– Acceptance  that  change is inevitable
– Taking a personal inventory of oneself and acknowledgement of one’s own strengths and use of them In various life situations
– Pulling In the support of one’s trust worthy tribe when needed
– Asking self :what actions am I going to take for this situation?
 -Creating a list of self caring activities that can be used to prevent overload of being overwhelmed in those times of adversities 
     Practicing resilience in times of unexpected and perhaps overwhelming situations can be one of the most successful tools in coping and also in bouncing back from unthinkable experiences. I cannot fathom a better time in our collective history than the present to embark upon a renaissance of resilience. I encourage you to find someone who is willing to be your guide in discovering the steps to resiliency that will pull you into the successful Warrior Stance you have been longing to claim. 

A Personal Relationship With Myself

I have lived alone for a few years by choice. Living solo during social distancing and extended quarantine times has opened me in ways I never saw coming.

I have never been a fan of cleaning. I do like the energy that comes after I clean but just the act of cleaning was never my thing. Lately I have found myself observing places that cleaning seemed, though novel, just could be beneficial!When did those dust bunnies have a family under my couch? How did cobwebs create cornered creations inside my gas fireplace?

Then there were the piles of papers, cut out articles on oodles of subjects, and uncategorized markers ,pens , paint supplies, and artist pads. I have always known what lived in each pile of my artistic world that I coexist with, and eventually when searching for a specific item ,I could find it. With so much time on my hands I organized each pile, eliminated close to a ream of unneeded pieces of paper, and discovered CD’s of music from my many past lives. This cleaning and organization only took about eight days.

As my relationship with my quarantined self continued occasionally different and unexpected emotions arose.I hung out with them and they passed. I got deeper in touch with the spiritual practices I do daily, and really understood on a new level why I am who I have evolved into. Communing with nature, journaling, creative writing, breath work, dragon Yin yoga, chi gong, meditation, Reiki, stillness, prayers and doing sacred ceremony for the planet are all practices I have incorporated into my life for many years. It really has come a surprise to me that I took these practices for granted. I know that I chose to start doing each one of them for the benefit they provided. A wonderful Observation in the past month has been the realization that the life I have created for myself including all these practices I do has taught me to be kinder, more patient, and generally a peaceful person.

Making a conscious effort for self-care as well as keeping in contact with like hearted friends and relatives have been crucial elements in this new way of life.

I have been noticing I do not need nearly close to the amount of distracting activities I enjoyed only a month ago. Sometimes I wonder how will I have time to do what I thought I would miss when the quarantine ends. Embracing the opportunity of hanging out with myself has opened a world I was not really prepared to witness!

One of the most wonderful observations in my awakening to the absolute truth is I have had everything I needed for quite a while. I do look forward to face to face socializations again in the future. Until then I think I will continue enjoying my solo retreat feeling pretty comfortable in my own skin. If you had told me that I was actually going to enjoy this imposed Quarantine away from my social world I would have never believed it. This is just more evidence that I often cannot see the best is yet to come and the most wondrous things occur in our lives when we get out of our own way and experience what shows up !

The Practice Of Embracing Stillness

       I carried  for years a belief if I was not actively engaged in doing, and being busy at something… That I was unproductive and therefore not being useful. Carrying this further ,if I was not useful in society, I was not of service, and therefore not worth or of value  of much of anything. I always had to have noise Induced such as TV, music, radio, anything to stop me from hearing the thoughts coming from my head. Silence was my enemy.
     I begin meditating 35 years ago and have practiced yoga since I was a teenager. Of course I was quiet and still during those practices. Yet I still was not 
embracing stillness in most areas of my life. Looking back , I was always thinking; my mind had to be actively engaged because  (here came another belief) if I could figure out whatever or whomever was creating a conflict for me by using my great mind,I could find calmness and serenity. It never really gave me a successful solution though I kept doing the same pattern expecting a different result!
      Maybe it was my Aries ascendant that insisted on my being in constant motion because when not engaged in my slowing down spiritual practices I was a person in busyness and active movement constantly.
     During  the current  “forced stillness” of the world’s social distancing quarantines imposed upon all of us, I became most grateful that I have embraced stillness as a channel of peace.
     I cannot remember when I surrendered my need to be a workaholic and a busyaholic yet surrender was what I did. I have a feeling stillness was something I had searched  for most of my life but did not know how to find it or even that I wanted it!
     In my partnership with stillness gifts have come. It has brought me balance and showed me how to be present in the moment. I have been able to hear my inner thoughts more clearly and as a result, have gotten in touch with  both authentic and false beliefs that work and those that do not.  I have entered into a personal relationship with the person I really am, and opened to the Divine Higher Self who lives within me. Before I knew stillness it was pretty much impossible to hear my inner messages coming from the wise being who dwells within. The practice of stillness has empowered me to be more creative, to be more focused and present in all my relationships, and to detach with love and compassion from the chaos and drama of the people and world around me.
     If you think you may want to look for stillness in your own life you might try these things:
– Unplug  from your phone and computer for a certain amount of time each day
– Take yourself on nature walks in silence
– Choose to stop watching the news which  most of the time adds unwanted feelings of anxiety
– Declutter and get rid of the stuff taking up space in your home. When you are surrounded with stuff you have really no use for you have actually created an environment to get you more defocused, distracted and stressed mentally.
– Sit by yourself in solitude in a room for one minute a day and keep practicing until it is up to 10 minutes daily.  Pay attention to the thoughts that come up. This exploration of mental adventure can  begin to  help you perceive new ideas as creativity has an incredible outlet plugged into a new channel .
    S-h-h-h! Listen – – did you hear that? It was stillness being awakened within and for you.