Cultivating Hope In Times of Uncertainty

I have no scientific evidence of the evolutionary and revolutionary shift happening on our planet. However, as a visionary intuitive I feel in my bones we are being catapulted into a new dimension . Each of us are experiencing deep emotions that seemingly jump out and grab us …emotions we cannot put our finger on; yet , we know something feels amiss even when we have spiritual practices in place. Out of the blue the masses (or the collective as I like to call it ) feel confused, uncertain, emotional, apprehensive, and out of sync with what we believe is reality. I awakened to the truth long ago that everything is energy. When we fall into the dark crevices fueled by ongoing wars, political and civil unrest, surging and soaring financial stress, misinformation and distrust of information received, and rising fears of the unknown future the resulting depression, despair, sadness, uncontrollable tears, and anxiety create an atmosphere of losing hope. Even as I spend much of my time and intentions of radiating light to all living beings, there are moments I, too, forget that we are all Spiritual Beings having a Human Experience. My remembering and taking action to get grounded in Nature with a willingness to co-create with the Sacred and Divine always opens the door I have closed to reveal that flicker of hope that shines light onto the dark unknowing of what will happen to our world!

I am reminded of Brenè Brown’s words: “We need hope like we need air. Hope is a function of struggle—we develop hope not during the easy or uncomfortable times, but through adversity and discomfort.”

Knowing in my heart that we are really all connected helps my illusionary story remember I and we are never alone! This amazing time in the history of humanity , I believe, is not about the end of the world but is about each of us remembering what we have forgotten: Together we can do what we could never do alone in the journey of this thing called life! We COULD call it the end..the end of the old way of living our lives as we always have lived them and choosing to walk together into our collective vision of a world filled with hope. There is no question a major shift is happening. The evolution and radical transition of humanity is really occurring. This cannot be denied. Such a massive shift cannot go down being simple or easy.

I live in a residential community just a few minutes from downtown. Because I asked many moons ago to receive guidance and signs when I got entangled with confusion that blocked me from being comfortable in my own skin as long as I can remember deer have shown up in my environment everywhere I have lived and traveled. My backyard backs up to a vacant wooded lot , and deer not only show up in the woods, but often are standing in my side yard! I am not feeding them to lure them to me. They present themselves to me. Throughout the world and within ancient and present cultures deer have been cherished as a powerfully strong , graceful animal with a sensitive heart of compassion. Deer embodies gentleness, strength, and regeneration.

In this time of uncertainty perhaps we can each choose to be deer-like, and gather within gentle kindness and compassion not only to others, but especially to ourselves. Cultivating compassion for our human experience, even when we feel overwhelmed with not knowing how it is all going to be okay, can be a portal of hope. When we peer into the keyhole of that door confusion and fear has slammed shut and see that little glimmer of light on the other side we just might together turn the doorknob of change , cracking open the possibilities that humanity has been waiting for since time began for us to join in unified faith as a new species, a new breed of human beings as we co-create love itself! I am choosing to walk off that proverbial cliff of revolutionary consciousness with the risk to find out if I really had wings after all that will enable me and provide evidence I can soar above the confusing chaos. I hope you will join me!

“Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness. We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose finite hope. Let your hopes, not your hurts, shape your future.”- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Are You Listening To The Signs And Messages From Spirit And The Universe?

How many times did you wish for a letter from Divine Source/Creator/Universe giving you explicit , step to step guidance that would take away your fears, worries, frustrations, and apprehensions offering you instructions of how to discover a more peaceful life? What if you knew you had been given signs all along but just kept ignoring them as life seemed to dish out one challenge after another…challenges you labeled fate, your lot in life, or experiences you proclaimed were thrown at you for the purpose of walking through for you to learn lessons?

It took me quite a few episodes of tripping over the direct messages laid out for my benefit before I was willing to get out of my head and into my heart and actually comprehend the Universe was always FOR me, and repeatedly trying to get my attention. I kept believing Life was a TEST!! Why did I not hear the whispering in my ear, the tapping on my shoulder of Sacred Messages designed to show me options that would open the door I had energetically held shut with my need to be in control, need to show the world what a go- getter I was, rushing hither and yon, and keeping myself as one of the ultra busy bees of the world ( believing I was succeeding and excelling in this thing called life!)

That dangling key that kept being just outside of my reach was not because life was a series of tests for me to master, but was so simple once I understood that when I slowed down long enough to be PRESENT in each moment, I was able to pay attention to the signs showing up in front of me! Universal Divine Source did not appear in the form of a burning bush, a golden hand reaching out of a cumulus cloud, or a rabbit jumping from its hole speaking profound words to me! My signs came when I was walking in the woods, cleaning the kitchen, even impatiently standing in the checkout line behind someone paying for 18 items in the 10 or less line.

What happens when we keep ignoring signs sent just for us by Source? I can tell you my experience with ignoring the repeated signs created major events that slowed me to a halt so that I was forced to slow down, reflect on the present state of my life, and finally listen on an INTUITIVE level from a deeper introspective mindset. One of the major events was what I refer to as my brain opportunity. At a time when my body was seemingly in tiptop shape while working 2500 miles from home I was brought to a literal stop with a hematoma and major brain bleed. I had miraculous healing, did not require rehab, but was unable to continue working in my long career for quite a while as I recovered from brain surgery. This bringing me to a complete halt gave me time to reassess my life, and my intuitive mindset persuaded me to awaken to the fact though I cherished my career, I was not living my true passion and using my inborn gifts to help others as an intuitive guide and healing facilitator. You do not have to have a brain opportunity to slow down and listen to your unique messages from the Universe but truly it is important to ask yourself if you are listening.

The Universe does communicate with each of us in a variety of ways all created uniquely for each of us. Some ways might be * through a random meeting with a stranger who tells you something that causes a deep resonance within you. When I was 20 years old an elderly woman told me to never forget each morning to light some candles in my home to bring out the light in me. Today I practice radiating light to humanity. * Synchronicities : thinking of a friend and then they call you “out of the blue”; *Seeing a series of numbers as in 555, 444, 111 : reminding you that you are aligned with the path or direction right for you *Hearing a certain song that was a song you liked the summer after you left high school may remind you of the excitement of a new transition or change that changed your life for the better * Animal signs in nature: Hawks always remind me to soar above my life in a way to view with observations of a deeper perspective * Body messages: Developing a sudden rash on your arm: may remind you to pause before making a “rash” or impulsive decision before sending a negative email to someone who has triggered you. * When several things happen at once: your computer crashes, your toilet is overflowing, your partner alienates you..all may be a sign to reassess what is truly important in your life

Paying attention to repetition of events such as leaks, breakdowns, changes in plan due to situations occurring just may be the Universe is trying to get your attention! I love Jack Canfield’s 5 Wise clues that help encourage me to listen to my received signs: 1. When we are experiencing joy we are doing what we need to be doing, and the sign appears for us to start looking for more opportunities to create joy in other aspects of our lives! 2. When we are experiencing pain that we cannot understand why it is happening, perhaps looking underneath the pain to an old belief/thought /unexpressed emotion that we are hanging onto that is not aligning with our core values. When we pay attention to the message under this pain and do inner work to change that belief that really is not helping us to be the best version of ourself, often the pain disappears and we return to that inner smile of being comfortable in our own skin.3. When something gets stuck in our head such as a song that keeps re-playing in our thoughts (“Let It Be”) or a reoccurring dream such as being back in a dysfunctional job it may be a sign to change how we are showing up in our life! 4. Paying attention to your internal messages because “we have all the truth within” can be a great tool ! We can tap into our messages through quietude and meditation and discover what we were not hearing before! Perhaps it is a sign to take another road of action by changing our perceptions of the plan we were trying to force to work. 5. If we are staying confused and not knowing which way to turn, we can always ask the Universe for what I like to call “A sign so big I can not possible miss it!”

Watch for signs and have trust and faith that the Universe is always FOR you. Divine Timing reveals events happen as and when they need to occur for our Highest and Best good! The Universe/ Source has been conspiring to bring to fruition the most wondrous opportunities for each of us…but we can be more willing to listen, to surrender our rigid need to continue doing things only our way and the manner we have always done, and to stop and smell the roses with an awareness that maybe..just maybe.. we are being given signs to awaken us to a fresh and different perspective that we had not even considered.



“Pay attention to the Signs of the Universe. The Universe works in mysterious ways, constantly sending signals that show you where you need to go and what you need to do to create the life of your dreams” -Jack Canfield

BEFRIEND YOUR SHADOW AND FREE YOUR CREATIVITY

Carl Jung wrote and coined that our shadow is that part of our personality which is unconscious, that we try to hide from ourself because we believe it does not align with the ideal standard that we want to show the world in our quest to offer evidence of the best version of ourself. What long ago interested me was Jung’s theory that the shadow is the seat of creativity. Until we delve into “shadow work” we will more than likely project our unexplored subconscious upon others into the land of judging “them” as demonstrating unacceptable behaviors ..behaviors that in reality are those ideas and traits that we try to bury in a quicksand of hidden aspects of our very own darkness.

I personally have a history of childhood traumatic experiences that created extreme challenges in coming to terms with shame, guilt, fear, and constant self doubting behaviors. I thought if I ran and hid from my emotions using various addictions, wearing false masks of illusions, and the illusion I was in control that I was being more authentic. I was afraid to show the world the aspects of myself which I held the belief were taboo and inappropriate. What I was doing was imprisoning my creativity!

Once I befriended my shadow not only did I allow my creativity to emerge but I also began to heal my broken internal self and my heart opened not only to the outside world, but most importantly to myself! As I walked my journey on the path to getting closer to mastery some amazing revelations showed up. I saw gradually but more completely the Light within me that when radiating out into the world I was living my dream of being the unique person I only dared to believe actually existed.

Some examples you may resonate with of your own shadow: Self-Centered Shadow (excessive pride, arrogance with root cause of not being good enough); Deviant Shadow (Suspiciousness, Obsessive rooted in a need and desire to gain control) Controlling Shadow (Jealous, bossy, Possessive rooted in fear of abandonment); Detached Shadow (Emotionally distant, Lacking compassion rooted in unresolved grief sandwiched in shame).

If you are curious as to how to possibly embrace your shadow some ideas are: * Notice and observe patterns that keep showing up in your life (often in relationships of partnerships, friendships, supervisors, co-workers). The more willing you are to your patterns (which I strongly recommend in writing out an inventory and self witnessing of) the greater the reveal will be of how your shadow aspect is influencing parts of your life. * As you become your own witness and conscientious observer of your shadow see it without judging yourself or your emotions in a negative way

**** Shadow work with a licensed professional is extremely crucial because of the deep inner work you are working through***

Ways to tap into your creativity as you dive into Shadow Work:

-When your inner critic (in my case it was my inner Mother-critic who kept popping in until I learned how to use creativity as a solution) is showing up, use journaling to record what that inner critic is loudly voicing to you and challenge that sucker! Embrace the critic and create new affirmative statements and put them on sticky notes or make a vision board called “Creative Truths”.

-Regardless if you think you are not artistic, draw/paint/write/drum/create any form of music that will spark your creativity. This has significant impact to enter your unconscious mind, creating fresh perspectives.

-Be a proverbial “Cliff-Jumper” by trying new methods or ways you have never tried before and acknowledge through your shadow why you are holding onto the fear (maybe with claw marks before you surrender!) of why you are afraid to take risks.

Shadow work can be the key to unlock your creativity that you did not even know you had locked away…a key of inspirational tools of innovative, fresh ideas paving your road to authenticity and revealing to your inner self just how amazing you truly are. Shine that light on your shadow and integrate all of yourself !!

The shadow is the seat of creativity- Carl Jung

Cultivating Harmony Even In Times of Challenges

As much as it is my daily intention to stay in a place of balanced harmony there are times I get thrown off kilter with distractions that pull me away from my grounded center. Some people carry the illusion that a peaceful life means there is an absence of conflict and challenges . My belief is that times of challenges are the best and most rewarding catalysts that catapult me into being pushed out of my comfort zone in order to experience a fresh perspective about myself and the world.

The human experience comes with ebbs and flows of emotions that are often attached to the situations life offers us. How could we ever know contentment and joy without walking through sadness and the anguish of grief ? When I am willing to claim the truth that sometimes life can just be crummy I am in a state of awareness that it is just a time to hug that crumminess and not give up on knowing the constant is in change. Nothing lasts forever and this too shall pass.

I often write in my journal solutions I have found in my journey as a human because it helps me to remind myself of what has worked in the past. You may or may not relate that at an earlier time in my life I thought life was supposed to look like a 1950’s tv show where everyone smiled at each other and pretended there was never room for a negative and imperfect thought and action. I choose to no longer be one of the walking zombies with a big smile on my face 100% of the time especially when that old monkey wrench of strange challenges is thrown at me. However, during those times there are things I can do although sometimes a bag of chocolate chip cookies seems to be my first go to activity!

Some ideas of maintaining harmony and peace even when our life feels dark and conflicted:

*Write a gratitude list of what is actually good in present life

*Practice mindful breathing or meditation times without inserting a judgement of how you carry it out.

*Say no to people , activities, and situations that are draining our energy; create time and write it on our daily agenda things that really matter to our heart and soul.

*Spend time and connect with nature. Practice quietude listening to birds offering a symphony, put your hands in the dirt of Mother Earth, and go for a silent walk.

*Surrender unrealistic expectations we have of ourselves; Self compassion of self can lead to compassion for others and situations. Accepting our imperfect flaws of character is a step into loving who we really are.

*Create and cultivate a tribe of like hearted people including friends, professionals (such as a coach, mentor, or counselor) who truly support your well being even when you feel out of touch with reality and sane thinking.

Cultivating harmony during times of distress and challenge calls for intentional acts of inner work and awareness. Authentic harmony by no means does not mean all will be perfect or be without things going haywire. What it does mean is we can stay grounded in our inner resilience walking our respective journey until the sun shines on us again and radiates hopefulness as we trust the best is yet to come.

Saving Connections By Not Trying To Influence Them

There is a part of my personal history that gave me a false sense of control and power. I believed for a long time because I knew lots of things about many different areas that it was right and my right to offer my brilliance to my friends , associates, relatives, and even strangers. If a Human Angel had walked up to me and asked why I carried this belief I would have not paused before answering: “I am being helpful to those I care about.” It did not matter that no one asked me for my unsolicited advice . I had the information and felt the need (which really was a compulsion fueled by another “C” word : Control) to tell another. You may ask what exactly is unsolicited advice.?The bottom line : Unsolicited advice is information and guidance that was not asked or requested. Advise probably is intended to be helpful and many of us (I am raising my hand) have offered suggestions and/or opinions , even may have told others what they need or ought to do without being asked. My giving unsolicited advice was wrapped in the sandwich of Codependency, Poor boundaries with others, and the rationalization I was trying to help when I really wanted to take credit for “fixing” or “changing” another. But you may think, am I not supposed to help others? Yes helping is a grand asset. However , repeatedly giving advice when not asked for any is really disrespectful, and a false assumption that another will be grateful for receiving information and opinions .

Unsolicited advice may even be delivered and received by the other as your superiority and Know-it-all personality. The person on the receiving end may feel you think you know what is best for them. An example of this is you overhear two people talking in a store..people you do not know. One is talking about wanting to lose her belly fat after having a baby. You invite yourself into their conversation offering your experience of being on a great nutritional diet you and your sister went on, losing 20 pounds each. The two people walk away quickly from you because 1. they do not even know you 2. they did not ask you and 3. they are offended and think you are judging their belly fat!

This may seem an extreme example but can you think of times you offered your wisdom such as over a person not having a cell phone holder in their car and while you are riding with them you mention they could get one at such and such store and hook it onto your car vent…or your friend mentions she just bought 2 pounds of pecans and you send her a recipe for a pecan pie without asking if she would like to receive it. It is great to offer your information but even better to be asked for your advice. If you are an unsolicited advice giver or know one , you may be aware you or they cannot stop themselves from giving advice, from posting on social media , or even delivering a gift of something they think you need “to help you out”.

Most of us who are adults have experienced way too long listening to a parent or person of authority telling us what to do, when and how to do it. We really would rather make our own mistakes and have our own consequences instead of being treated like a child in response to unsolicited advice. We also are very capable of asking for help , for opinions, or for information needed.

Have you ever heard in response to your unsolicited advice the receiver saying to you “Wow you have made my life easier by reading my mind and telling me the great way of doing these things because you know I could never figure them out on my own?”

Maybe the chronic unsolicited advice giver thinks they know you better than you or maybe they feel important giving you information you did not request. No matter what their intention or motivation is their advice that was not asked for can be annoying, frustrating, and even cause hurt feelings. Based on my personal experience as a recovered unsolicited advice giver I can share these things as to why people keep doing their behavior:

-They really want to help but either do not know another way or they feel they are being compassionate by telling you what and how to do something

-They really feel they know better or more than you do, and have an internal need to tell you about it

-They are living through their controlling ways and have evidence in their own histories that they are in control so they give out repeated unsolicited advice and opinions

-By constantly giving out information and their opinions (even when it is not wanted and rarely does the receiver do as they suggest) they feel better about themselves; thus, boosting their own low self esteem

Lastly, here are some ideas to handle unsolicited advice without losing your rapport:–

-Pause and take a really big breath. They are not trying to hurt you. They are demonstrating a habit they have yet learned to surrender.

–Listen with kindness . This shows YOU demonstrating respect. It has no bearing on whether you are willing to take their unsolicited advice…just smile and listen.

-Set boundaries with the person. You may have to be blunt if they are not getting the message that you do not need or even want their unsolicited advice.

-Finally if you want to try to walk a mile in their moccasins, ask questions to reach an understanding of their motivation in their behavior of advice giving such as Would you share with me why you feel I need to know this?

When the person, be it your friend, co-worker, parent, relative , or partner keeps offering unsolicited advice you may want to ask yourself how much do you value this relationship, and do you want to continue participating in it? Only you can answer this crucial question.

The Alliance Of Spoken Words With Intentional Actions

Before I received the heart knowledge that everything is energy, I thought I could just spout off words to anyone and there was no other responsibility linked to them. As I began awakening and learned how to create affirmations I slowly and gradually started embracing the understanding that my words..those spoken aloud and those spoken silently were heard by my brain as well as my body. When I made statements of disrespect to myself and my environment such as: “I will never get this right. “ “I am stuck in this dead end job.” “I am not good enough “. “The world is too messed up to ever evolve now.” I was clueless that the energy of these statements carried POWER and I was actually creating my own reality that would manifest according to what I was telling my brain and the Universe! Once I opened my awareness to the fact everything is energy , and started paying attention to what was coming into fruition in my life, I made a conscious choice to change my spoken and mental wording. I assure you it is not easy to change the silent words spoken to the brain. It takes a disciplined and consistent focus to really listen. Though it took time and lots of practice my mindset slowly shifted. Once I was more fully awake to the truth of the power of spoken/unspoken words I decided to question how my words may be affecting other people and the world. Oh my…was this a huge awakening! Funny thing about those light bulb moments…once they tap me on the shoulder saying “Hey, pay attention to this!” other validations of the wisdom will appear in books, in movies, in speeches, in podcasts, from others who already had awakened before me!

Having this knowledge encouraged me to pay attention to the power of my words I used verbally and in writing emails, texts, and messages to others. Instead of allowing my impulsivity to send out communications in any form that was only fueled by instant unsavory and degrading energy which my words could create to another, I have learned to often stop and take a few deep breaths, chill , and re-direct by choosing kinder expression. I have been amazed to experience “helping spirits” appear like this prayer I heard once : “May the Angel of God sit on my tongue.” Once truth had finally filtered through my stubborn , rebellious nature of wanting to do things the way I had always done them, I am thrilled to say often I catch myself before acting in ways that go against the authentic ME I want to be. Though, not perfect, and knowing I never will be, I can keep aligning with my core values by practicing conscious speech and thoughts leading to actions of integrity.

The next invitation from the Universe and the Divine was to break through another layer of old ideas that no longer work (as if they really ever did!). This one was a long held belief that because I am an avid reader, a great researcher, and my ego confirming I had all this knowledge that could propel me through life better than ever I was doing a ok. In fact my ego tried to persuade me I could spout my knowledge to anyone who would listen verbalizing great platitudes of wisdom as I quoted Grand Masters, Ancient Philosophers, Poets, and even lines from movies. You may ask at this point, “What could be wrong with that?” My ego liked the fact others might be impressed that I could recite this wisdom , and perhaps the listener could even benefit from this action. However, here came the kicker: I was only STATING what I had heard or read..not APPLYING the platitude or quote. We can quote and recite until the cows come home but unless we actually put into action these things, we are just like an actor on the stage. We will not change . We will still be spouting and not doing.

The intentional acts of doing life situations differently than we have chosen to do before is a game changer. As I incorporated intentional acts of wisdom, spiritual and organic ones, I observed as my own witness the manifestation of a new version of myself. Long ago I was told by a wise sage applying new techniques onto old patterns of behavior have the potential to transform the old patterns. I believe the year 2024 will be a birthing of advances in communications, in problem solving, and in innovative and visionary methods. I have become convinced if I and the Collective of the rest of the world do not surrender the old Patriarchal and outdated ways that are sandwiched in controlling , fear mongering , separatism that Humanity will continue to sink into the proverbial quicksand aspects that so many are being swallowed whole and choking on it. The world is shifting and unless we each adapt to the changes with the integration of using conscious speech , conscious listening to each other, and intentional actions of co-creative union and insights fueled by shining our true light upon each other and the world, humanity will fade into oblivion. We each have the responsibility to do our inner work, daily put into practice our disciplined physical-intuitive- spiritual- acts , and embrace the truth that it must begin with each of us working on ourselves for the Higher Good of All. We can reach out to leaders and light workers of technology and the Movers-Shakers that are not afraid to carry the Vision of the New World if we are confused how to move forward. Together we still have an opportunity . Cowering alone in our darkness we will get what we have always gotten, and perhaps worse.

“To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe”-Anatole France

The SuperPower of Becoming Comfortable With Not Knowing

For a long part of my childhood into my adulthood I suffered from the “What If Syndrome” encapsulated within “I must know what is coming , how the players on the Stage of Life are going to act in their roles, and if it all will work out!!”

I do not know exactly when I began understanding that everything is Energy, but today I absolutely know it 100%. Once I started seeing how fear, worry, anxiety were brick walls I created in my mind and that they blocked me from being free and content, I became willing to find a way to live my life differently. Of course, it all goes back to that Reptilian Brain that sees the Tyrannosaurus Rex about to devour us. Ingrained old beliefs of our own making along with the ones the Collective carries can play out scenarios and stories we each tell ourselves. I have learned I can ask myself questions when I start to freak out that the worst thing I can imagine is going to happen. Mainly: “Is this true? What is my evidence? Who told me that? “

Because I have come to believe what the Ancient Ones knew …that Nature is our greatest teacher, I long ago began to watch Nature herself teach me. Does the caterpillar worry it will not go through its metamorphic stages and not transform into a beautiful butterfly with wings of freedom to experience its environment? Do the birds worry they will not have food sources when their world is covered in snow and frigid temperatures are a constant in the Winter? Does a tree that is burned during a Forest Fire worry it is doomed to be destroyed and will never sprout new roots and branches? We can learn so much if we will pause, observe, and see the magical elements Nature freely offers us to apply in our navigation out of our fears. Before I was willing to pay attention to Nature’s Wisdom there were some simple strategies I used to surrender my worries, concerns, and fears of not knowing what was going to happen to me, to my loved ones, and even to the world.

Before I share these ideas, I wanted to offer the underlying aspect of a need to know…Control…the need to be in control, the need to figure it out with our great intelligence, and the almost psychotic obsession to live out demanding it is our right to see what is coming in a future time when that time does not even exist..because all any of us have is the present moment. Yet, how many in the world are willing to become aware that Control does not even exist for it is for the most part just an illusion. Many will fight this idea because their thinking brain (the one that overthinks most situations) does not want to admit and accept life is not about control though many will use all the tools in their proverbial box of dysfunction to manipulate, exaggerate, and force things to be the outcome each hungrily lusts for!

Strategies:

Use all your senses when in the midst of creating a story of worry: Look/see, Listen, Smell, Touch, Move Your Body, Taste(the fear) as you are gathering evidence in your world that everything and you really are okay in this moment.

Get grounded into your body and breathe. Go for a brisk or power walk. Get out in Nature. Feel your feet touching the Earth. Grounding helps you get back into the present moment in which there is peace and safety.

Write/journal what you feel you get out of certainty. When you get to run your world write and do things within absolute control in your life. Do your to -do list. Distract yourself by listening to music, meditating, exercising, reading a book, watching a video. Eliminate those things not really important in the moment and do the things that are. This helps your focus to instill positivity instead of the negativity worry causes.

When we watch things unfold we get to really see how magical life really can be. I love that most of the time I am a proverbial cliff jumper..jumping off the next adventure and aligning with what is happening ..to the world, to the players on the stage of life, to my passions, and to my fears. As I jump not knowing if I will even land, my fears seem to vanish and I sprout Wings of Freedom and the better outcome is manifested! If I tried to plan this incredible way things turn out, step by step I would mess it up. In the process I am gifted with the Super Power of Not Needing to Know! I invite you to try it. If you are still not happy with the outcome, you can always return to worrying about what is coming next and believing you know. If that is your option, let me know how that is working for you.

“To attain knowledge, add things everyday. To attain wisdom, remove things every day.” ― Lao Tzu

“Life is not a test. It is a series of experiences in the Human Condition” – Jennye Johnson

The Key To Building Healthier Connections With Others And Ourselves

Many moons ago a person of wisdom told me about the Sacred Mirror. This mirror says when we are in the presence of someone who exemplifies and demonstrates traits we love about ourselves , we instantly like that person and want to continue a connection with them. On the other side of the coin when we are in the presence of someone who shows by their actions similar characteristics we despise, loathe, or do not love in ourselves we immediately want to walk away and never look back at that person. Our ego, naturally, will not want to acknowledge those personality flaws we cannot stand in another are equally present in ourselves. I have long held this theory that we choose intimate relationships to teach us more about us as we carry the false belief that the other has some hidden knowledge of aspects we do not have, and our unawakened self believes being in a relationship with that person will guarantee we can learn and embrace the ingredient that is missing in us!

When we meet others where they are at without a need to judge or want them to be some version we demand them to be, we are utilizing empathy, compassion, and acceptance. Practicing this skill is affirming and validating we are honoring and respecting the other person for exactly where they currently are in their life! Not carrying out this practice is a form of the desire to control another as we live out of the mantra: ” If you will only do and act as I want you to, then I will be happy; and, unless I am happy with your behaviors, I will try to manipulate and change you.”

Our internal awareness, for most of us, has not processed and had the Lightbulb moment that we are not meeting ourselves where we are at! We put pressure on ourselves to be perfect and our judgement of others is actually our self denial of unresolved issues of our wounded self who is only projecting inner feelings of inadequacy, insecurity , and being unlovable in the moment.

When we accept sometimes we and others are only willing to take baby steps to change and evolve to a better version of themselves…or at times not willing to do any of the inner work it takes to change our acceptance is showing compassion and empathy toward another and even ourselves.

Instead of telling our inner selves we are broken, beyond repair when we can give ourselves a break by self talking to our inner child and inner adult that we may not be where we want to be but we can have hope and faith we will get there when we do our inner work and/or work with a coach or therapist. Mindfulness meditation, practicing self love and self compassion activities are each valuable solutions . When we are ready , we can choose to inventory where we are at and what we would like to change that is blocking our inner peace. Reaching out to the members of our tribe we trust, finding professional help, and creatively designing new ways to replace old ways of living life all are beneficial.

The more we are willing to meet ourselves where we are at, the greater the likelihood of meeting others where they are at without our need to judge will manifest, and all our relationships and connections will benefit and thrive.

“Let go of who you think you should be in order to be who you are. Be imperfect and have compassion for yourself. Connection is the result of authenticity.”- Brene Brown

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Drinking The Magic Potion of Change

Are you one of the many who shudder at the thought of change? When situations, our playmates, our playgrounds change we may resist letting go of the familiar. We may feel afraid and unsure if we can handle the inevitable that change comes wrapped in and the fact that we are not in control. Research tells us the human response to change is not typically a pleasant experience. We want that safe feeling of being comfortable in our own skin which for most is staying with those things that are familiar , and change (uncertainty) feels threatening (much like when the Tyrannosaurus Rex chasing our ancestors created fight or flight) and increases our levels of anxiety and fear. Furthermore, our conditioned habits and routine activities we have grown to accept as our “normal familiar” ways of living are hardwired in our brain in the temporal lobe where stored memories and long standing habitual patterns exist. We no longer find it necessary to pay attention to these stored familiar ways and responses . The practice of our routines, habits, and familiar modes of behavior are so strongly incorporated into the basal ganglia (the group of neurons in the temporal lobe of the brain) that the brain taps into our stored memories of how we have gone through our daily lives for an extended amount of time.

Perhaps you already are thinking you never have chosen change because even if unhappy with the current situations you have found yourself in, you would rather maintain the status quo than risk being in an uncertain and unfamiliar state. For a minute reflect back to 2000 when the world changed quickly or to five-ten years ago. Did you change your type of music or books? Did you change your style of clothing? Did you change friendships or partners? Did you change the food you ate or where it came from? If only one “yes” came up then you did choose change. These are very superficial examples of change. Why do you feel embracing change at this stage of your life would benefit you in any way or would it?

Before I offer some amazing benefits that may enter your life when you make a choice of change allow me to point out some changes you may have already experienced:

Separating from your parent(s) when you entered kindergarten or first grade; the birth and beginning of a sibling; moving into a new community and changing schools; getting your first taste of music or literature; graduating from high school and leaving home; getting a pet; discovering a hobby you enjoyed and engaging with it; learning a new language; going on your first date; traveling to a new place; making first and later other friends; falling in love, and much more!

Some suggestions to begin to put change into action in your life are accept that change will happen whether you agree to it or not; be open minded to the shifting of new perspectives and ideas; be willing to do and approach things in a different way; Challenge your old beliefs by asking yourself if they are really working for you today; work with a personal coach or mentor ; and use your fears as a teacher as you rise above them and feel them as you dive off the proverbial cliff that comes with the freedom of new experiences.

By being willing to embrace change even if it is scary we will most likely begin a new pathway for understanding who we really are , discovering our dreams for ourselves, uncovering our passions and interests. Change will be a catalyst to going past just surviving into the land of thriving. Every area of our life can be touched and improved upon with change. Change can open our mind and spirit to creativity. We can attempt doing new things and even learning from our mistakes. Mistakes are stepping stones to our internal growth. When we risk embracing change we can become more focused and discover the innovative life we want to be living, and act upon it. Change is like throwing a stone into a river: we watch it as it unfolds, creating multitudes of ripples that have the potential to affect each and every area of our life, even our personal relationships.Every change we take on is a portal to more beginnings and the entry way to living a magical life. Think of how the butterfly embraces its metamorphosis. Without change it would still be a caterpillar crawling on the ground without the freedom to fly!

“If nothing changes, nothing changes” – Donna Barnes

A Relationship Of Importance: The One We Have With Ourself

Much of my life was focused on the belief I need to be of service and give to others. Anytime someone was struggling, experiencing challenges of any kind, and in need I was there to give totally of myself. It took me a long time and an honest appraisal of who I really am to have the heart knowledge the relationship with myself makes possible all that is good in life and is the most intimate relationship I or anyone will ever have.

When we enter into a sacred contract or commitment with another we make the choice to vow to be there through the good times, the challenging times, listening and offering of ourselves but how many of us make a vow to honor, love, and offer self care to ourselves?

You may be already thinking that of course you value and honor yourself. A quick self appraisal will give you evidence if this is truth. It may be helpful to look at Avoidance Areas. Avoidance is a learned and often habitual coping strategy. It is sandwiched in those areas making us feel uncomfortable in our own skin that we choose not to look at creating an atmosphere of finding distractions. Instead of giving our precious selves self love, self care, and self compassion we may jump at the chance to offer help and assistance (often when it is not requested) to anyone or anything before we even consider what our self needs.

A few self avoidance areas:

You wake up in the morning and know each time you choose to meditate you feel more focused and grounded. Instead you roll over and sleep another 20 minutes and when you wake up again you jump up and go turn on your computer to check for texts or emails. Self talk in your head jumps in at some point saying I should meditate but cannot find the time.

You feel more centered when you add creativity to your day such as journaling, painting, dancing, singing a song, looking at art. Instead you call your friend who is always in chaos and despair because you know you can help her feel better. Your needs to be creative can wait until later but later always seems to get filled up with other situations.

You feel a bit stressed and out of sync because you have so many responsibilities and that pile of bills you have not even opened yet. You know if you would take 20 minutes to grab that yoga mat tucked away in the closet and do a few poses with breathing exercises you would be back in your body instead of your head, but no time now…gotta run to the store to pick up your groceries and see if your partner needs something before rushing out the door.

You feel a bit resentful over something your sibling or friend said to you last night and start the self talk in your thoughts if you were kinder and more accepting instead of being selfish and not wanting to listen to what they said, you would be a better , more loving friend or sibling. You could get in touch with that person and talk it out but you decide it may not turn out well so you decide to go to the thrift store and buy things you don’t really need.

Not having a healthy relationship with yourself often results in feeling not good enough, feeling you are not worthy, and is clearly a Bright Red Flag that you are disconnected from yourself! When you are familiar with that frequent critic in your head it may be a challenge to start developing a good self relationship. If that describes you, start slowly and from a place where you feel you are existing with only one or two new habits or routines.

Starting with reflecting on the area of your life you are most NOT honoring your needs. Write it down and decide what simple changes you can make. Often it will be to set personal boundaries with others. Look at where you feel tired and drained. For example, you do not allow yourself to get enough sleep if you have received a text or phone call late at night..opt instead for going to bed!

Practice the next time you are being unkind and critical to yourself, claim and acknowledge the shame you are forcing on yourself , and ask your Internal Self how you can give yourself self love in the moment. If that is difficult, imagine you are talking with your best friend and what you would suggest they do in a similar situation.

Make a Sacred Commitment every day to one healthy habit with yourself. Pick just one of only 10-15 minutes. Imagine if you have a friend who makes plans with you and at last minute always backs out. This is resonant of the same behavior when you choose not to enlarge and create a healthier relationship with yourself. Examples: Walk for 10 minutes; Meditate for 5 minutes; Take yourself on an artist date to view architecture in your town for 10 minutes, etc; This will inspire and assist you in building blocks of how you relate and embrace the relationship with yourself after a period of time practicing!

Keep in mind consistency and sticking with your efforts will eventually create a better relationship with yourself , and will be a stepping stone to creating better relationships with everyone. At this very moment your future authentic self is throwing energetic confetti over your head in gratitude!!!

“A strong relationship with yourself allows you to cultivate the most loving relationships that you desire in life”- Michelle Maros , Co-Founder of Peaceful Mind Peaceful Life