Jaguarwind

The Opportunity For Balance

The Northern Hemisphere on September 22, 2022 welcomes the Autumn Equinox, a time in which day and night are equal in length. Since ancient times it has been celebrated as a powerful energetic and transitional time landing between the time of the seasonal periods of Light and the Darker aspects we experience.

Autumn Equinox invites us each to reflect on our internal shiftings from our thoughts, activities, and practices of the blazing heat of Summer into the changing quieter transition of our callings. Traditionally, Fall has been the time of school beginning after a busy and eventful break of active play and vacationing. Perhaps this Equinox is tapping your shoulders with an invitation to engage in intellectual, spiritual, and mental learning.

It is a time to check in with our inner scales to determine how our mind, body, and spirit is balanced and aligned with our core values and needs. We may desire to ask each element within what will bring our sacred feminine-sacred masculine sides into the balanced union of nurturing, creative endeavors, actions, and self discipline.

Are you being summoned to start new projects or insert a depth of more focus on old ones? Is it a time to deepen current commitments or to walk through the portal of innovative ones? The Autumn Equinox this year carries with her energies of a greater opportunity to really listen to our heart and body. The possibilities for spiritual, emotional, physical, and mental balance await us each during this transitional gateway.

Take the time to walk outside observing the changes that occur within the changing seasons. Reflect on the teaching that is being offered to you by the Master Teacher, Mother Nature, as the Ancients did. As we turn more inwardly with the intention to really listen we will be rewarded with the manifestation of hidden treasures awaiting us.

Being A Transparent and Authentic Friend

There was the me who once upon a time felt a need to hide certain aspects of who I really was. I believe growing up in a world and a household of mixed messages gave me indirect ideas that being vulnerable was not safe. Then there was that issue with trust I carried with me into most areas of my life. I tried to exude the personality that I was this together person even though deep inside my insecurities were holding my foundation in a sea of quicksand! It did not help that one of my parents told me repeatedly it was important to “look good” to the outside world. I imagine many of us have lived with a similar internal conflict.

Transparency implies openness, accountability, and intentional honesty. Most relationships, be it romantic partnerships or friendships, lacking transparency, crumble over time because one within the friendship/partnership is either incapable or refusing to share important facts and information. It is not that the other is intentionally lying to the other…they have just withheld truth.

I remember the day I made the decision to become transparent and authentic . Once the decision was made I did not need to wait to be asked about specific things in my friendships. I knew with all my heart and soul it was important to reveal my thoughts, my challenges, even my fears.

There have been friendships in my history I have tried to maintain in which the other person has not been transparent, and I struggled with them, knowing they were not equal ones. I suppose I could have continued in such relationships. However, trust, accountability, and honesty are keystones for me in any relationship I choose to maintain in my present evolution of being the best version of myself. My deal breakers are proportionally aligned with my core values. When I have revealed what is really inside of me, aspects of my life with complete vulnerability and the other person judges me or immediately changes the subject without responding or shifts the conversation to something about something else without acknowledging what I just honestly and with vulnerability shared it is a red flag for me. It is not even about them agreeing or disagreeing with me. It is about evidence of my being heard.

In the new world we are now living in, it may be helpful to assess if we as individuals are content with the health of each of our friendships , if each is authentic and equal, if our friendships are with those we can truly trust and count on to be honest and loyal, and are we confident of having no fears or apprehensions of being judged or criticized (verbally or non-verbally).

My bottom line is when I am transparent and authentic, I am showing up as the true being I am. Furthermore, I desire and will honor myself by being in relationships with those who embrace and welcome me as I am. Those who think I need to follow their set of rules or beliefs are welcome to co-exist in our world, but I am not so sure I want to maintain a friendship or partnership with them.

BELONGING

It is a fact we need each other. Psychologists have long researched and told us that love and belonging are crucial for all human beings. Even those who consider themselves loners need to belong because we are each social creatures. When we become disconnected from our people, our tribe, we suffer long term consequences. Our internal yearning craves the connection of belonging but even stronger is the innate need to belong to ourselves.

Our search for belonging in the journey to be valued and accepted may have taken us down a road in which our authentic self has been compromised. When we betray our very essence by agreeing to hide all or parts of who we really are in any relationship or chosen group of others, we will suffer deeply. We may have discovered that just joining with others is not enough. When we fear people will judge us or not even understand who we really are, there may be choices and decisions we make to give our loyalties to others while we remain disloyal to ourselves.

If we finally have that radiant light bulb moment of inner knowing which will require vulnerable truth and courage that being our authentic self sandwiched within is the highest level of self love and self acceptance ,we will finally be free to be part of a tribe without sacrificing our beautiful self! We will no longer hold back all or any aspects of who we are. We will ultimately grant ourselves the permission we have long denied to live as the best version of ourselves. Once we crawl or jump out of our chamber of hiding from all, even from humanity, we can never return to believing in order to be accepted and belong we must sacrifice ourselves. We will belong and stop suffering. Self belonging still will require inner work and self check-ins to align with our real self. Today as a result of my light bulb moments, I choose to be only my true self, and I know I am enough wherever I go.

Opening The Portal Of Hope

Experiencing abundance is as simple as opening our eyes and ears to the awareness of that which has been generously sprinkled upon each of us every day. We are not going to think our way into the opportunities awaiting us behind each blocked door our beliefs of impossibilities created by fears, limitations, lack, and low expectations prevent us from experiencing.

Often it is our recycling of deep subconscious thoughts that because sometime in our past someone inflicted proverbial chains of doubt and patterns of self sabotage that we believe years after the claim we cannot locate our own bootstraps needed to lift ourselves out of the swamp of shame. We may choose to remain locked in hopeless despair instead of choosing to stand up and walking out a swinging door that our negative ideas convinced us was locked.

We may get some perverse pleasure we call evidence in aligning with what “THEY” did to us which continues to prevent us from living our best life. The collective “they” could be parents, caregivers, lovers who rejected us, the government, etc. Pick your “they” that still after the experience long ago has ended .. you may still be giving free admission to have power over you.

An alternative path could be to open our vision fully at the multitudes of trees, forests, winged ones, creeping crawlers, finned and water animals thriving in the Natural World . This view of a world of diverse and incredible possibilities can show us all the Divine has created for our and their co-existence . Nature is our greatest teacher!! Are we yet ready to listen?
When we stop our self destructive and self pitying perceptions we just might awaken to the possibility of abundance to view with gratitude all that the Divine has anointed upon our daily lives . Only then is it possible to see that the thoughts we locked in our little restrictive boxes of fear and inactive solutions can we see alignment with a Divine Power is bigger than any of all those little boxes we assigned to various wishful thinking of relationships and areas we have been dragging around in a sack of hopeless disappointment. When we choose to stop trying to run our show because we so want to be in control, and choose to align with this Divine Power, we just may see a very different life. If still not convinced, you may answer this question: How is that working for you to do it your way?

Without risks the possible remains impossible. Stepping out of our comfort zone when we are willing to do the same or similar situations differently is the key to walking out a locked door that was never locked in the first place! Freedom of spirit only comes when we allow our skewed misperceptions to melt in the radiance of changing our thoughts. Simple….But how we love to complicate our lives.

Are You The Cause Or The Effect?

Reflecting on the many times that life situations have not gone my way with my being uncomfortable in my own skin, it has always been of value to ask myself: What was the CAUSE?

Often we may discover it was our reaction to the world outside of us trapping us in a cobweb of a recycling vortex of negative thoughts . This is not a pretty place to allow ourselves to be stuck!
When we stop the whirlwind of internal struggling by choosing to stop telling and re-telling a false story created by picking up that old finger of blame laced with illusions someone is making us a victim we amazingly see how the cause can be transformed by our positive actions moving us into claiming the effect we desire.

Our story which is usually not even true has a basis in assumptions and past unresolved issues we have hidden in a dark crypt of our subconscious mind. So often the current reaction has nothing to do with the event or person we are projecting our story onto but actually is an old experience of pain we are still dragging behind us into selected , if not into all, relationships!

Switching to using the famous ancient Hermetic Principle as above, so below, we can return to right relationships with our inner thought-propelled actions extending from our home to the world and every space in between. This principle of absolute truth dealing with action- reaction and cause- effect can assist us in remembering every thought , spoken/ written word, and action affects each and every relationship we have. Our choice in changing to loving thoughts and constructive self actions immediately has the ability to move us above the fearful, anxious problem to a place of above: inner peace. The “ below” is a projection of not having what we demand with levels of unworthiness, rejection, and fear while the newly understood creation of the “ above” produces amazing awareness of the internal links to the calm serenity we have been seeking. Our simple actions provide concrete evidence this ancient law of as above, so below is true!

Therefore, you may want to ask yourself Am I the cause or am I the effect? Choices, my dear reader, can be held tighter than an anchor’s knot or released and changed as easily as the spontaneity of your first kiss.

Resilience Is Your SuperPower

We came from ancestors who survived Tyrannosaurus Rex viewing people as their entree and those who walked before us who faced earth changes and near annihilation . Our DNA carries Survivor-Resilience. Repeatedly, I reflect on past cultures and what we have forgotten. Thriving in times of unexpected chaos can awaken within each of us solutions of magnitude . We can choose to be the Wayshowers of Light or the Doomsday Criers of Despair. How we can muster and gather our inner strength into an impervious Ball of New Vision is exactly what resilience offers us each an opportunity to embrace!

Resilience is the ability to adapt to challenging events and experiences of life situations even when knocked down a few notches and come back just as strong or even stronger than before. In addition, it is the adaptation to bounce back when things do not go as we had preconceived. Looking at my own life once I claimed Resilience as one of my SuperPowers, I looked at difficult circumstances as challenges to overcome, not as anything that was able to paralyze me into a frozen state of fear. My ownership of resilience became wrapped in a visionary commitment of my intentions in those causes important to me, in nurturing relationships/friendships I desire to maintain, and in acknowledging/adhering to my personal core values.

It is a fact that part of life is going to include making mistakes, being unsuccessful in certain aspects we hope to achieve, and even seeing certain situations and relationships come to a brutal end. Instead of allowing these times to devastate us to the point we give up and try to shelter ourselves from taking more risks, we can be determined to make Resilience one of our Superpowers by seeking and making concrete efforts to go after our hopes and dreams. Wrapping our failures and mistakes around our shoulders as learned opportunities , we really can bounce back stronger than the Energizer Rabbit , and move forward to things we never even imagined we could successfully see manifesting into fruition!

Here are some key ways to creating Resilience:

*Self care by getting effective sleep nightly, incorporating exercise you enjoy daily (gym, walking, swimming, tai chi, etc.), and using relaxation tools such as breath work and mindful and walking meditations.

*Listen consistently to the thoughts you have. When negative ones show up, replace them with positive ones. Ask the question: Is that really true? Who told me that???

*Respond with balanced calmness as opposed to reacting with anxious panic when life throws us a monkey wrench we did not see coming. I am a big fan of sticky notes that I put all over the place reminding me of choices I can make that are helpful not hurtful to my mind, body, and spirit.

*Find and nurture strong connections with others. When we find those we have are no longer working for our Highest and Best good walk away with kindness and compassion. Authentic relationships will feed our resilience and confidence in ourselves that we then can be a walking example for others to follow. When we have a network of trustworthy and supportive people we are never alone, and can call on them for support and help.

*Recognize and acknowledge our struggles and challenges are valid. We do not want to deny their stress on our wellbeing .

*Inventory and claim the strengths you already have. This is not arrogant. It will help us to call on our own abilities when the unexpected occurs.

*Give yourself permission to take a break from being so serious and a workaholic (even in play). Know what gives you pleasure and incorporate it into your calendar!

Resilience IS a superpower! Use it to your advantage and you might even discover you had magical wings attached to your back all along that will help you soar through challenges and life changes.

Embracing The Exhale

In my quest of the current journey of my life to uncover ancient wisdom and ideas to remain calm and return to that sacred space of being comfortable within my own skin multitudes of solutions appear…usually in my Dreamtime. There was a long period of time these solutions only came in those times of meditation . I cannot tell you when this awareness changed for I have been writing about my night dreams for eons. I have also been practicing mindfulness meditation for 36 years. When it happened for me I believe an internal shift made itself known to my conscious mind and I was pleasantly surprised to welcome that almost mystical place that probably has always been available ..that amazing place existing between my dreamtime space and my meditations.

Have you ever noticed , especially since the world changed, that you could be feeling fantastic, happy and carefree when suddenly you are surrounded by a sudden episode of anxiety and highly charged emotions? Sometimes mine comes on when I am watching or listening to a speaker from their podium (especially those who claim to be healers or spiritual leaders) . I am referring to the negative aura exuding from some speakers or writers whose energy seems to overtake not only myself but the whole audience! Being a life long empath, I pick up on how others around me are being affected. Then there are those times this happens when I am triggered by hearing of suffering in the world caused by despairing events of viruses, starving cultures, greed, and uncaring political people. When this experience occurs I feel this inner tension start building in my belly right at my diaphragm and it moves up my spine into my heart. Overwhelm takes over and my feet feel they are immobilized as if in quicksand.

Having lived through the revolutionary sixties when we demanded social change and often aggressive violence tried to push us back into our holes of non resistance , that old fear can pop out. For the longest time I did not know how to handle those times of anxiety and confusion UNTIL my journeys to the otherworlds and other dimensions started appearing in the dreamtime place.

I am blessed to be a visionary dreamer and most of the time I can understand the messages presented, and see that even my perceived nightmares hold solutions in my waking hours! If I do not understand I have a couple of highly intuitive people in my world I can call on for an interpretation.

One of my reoccurring messages has been to embrace the exhale. Now many will say it is best to also embrace the inhale , but I have found by doing a modified version of the Tong Len practice by visualizing and holding all those intense emotions in a box I create in my mind then EXHALE with a huge wind noise and my audible primal scream , blowing them out into a huge ceremonial fire I imagine ,seeing they are consumed by the fire, and transformed into self love and Light! Embracing the Exhale solutions is beyond incredible. There are many other examples and techniques of embracing the exhale that have come to me.

The exhale is the beyond -surrender. Knowing I have a choice to surrender by embracing my exhale has pushed me out of so many internal conflicts. I use it with people who try to focus their ill will and negative opinions on me, with my questions of why the world has become like it has , with conflicts of my deepest connections I have with others, and when I read angry, resentful statements spoken by both strangers and known others.

Once I embrace the exhale, I then can return to my wonderful calmness and my breathing is sandwiched in my peace. I once again enter that self loving place of being a better version of myself.

I can hardly wait to go to sleep every night to get the pleasure of hearing yet another idea that my great intelligent mind never dreamed of and hear the ancient and unworldly beings download me with something new!

Compromise Or Walk Away?

Have you ever noticed in some areas of your life: romance, work, or friendship it is like a plot in a movie entitled Same Relationship With A Different Face? Have you thought about the possibility that just maybe you attempted to resolve an issue with someone and you questioned if you were the one over compromising and giving in ? I have been reflecting on the value of compromising in several relationships over the past little while.

I am not an advocate of living in the past. However, sometimes there is merit in reviewing decisions made and actions taken. It helps me to come to terms with my recycled patterns of behaviors. Patterns that are repeated of which I have observed in myself seem to be replays of uncomfortable responses to negative experiences. Sometimes I have asked myself have I been compromising too much and the other person has not compromised at all! Because I have looked at how I have shifted from an aggressive doormat of my past to a person with no problem stating calmly how I feel in any situation, I have formulated some cardinal points regarding compromises applicable in almost all situations.

When my stated opinions and thoughts are ignored in conversation after conversation this feels like a red flag of disrespect . I am referring to when voicing my thoughts, aspects of my life and the other person never responds, but just jumps to another topic repeatedly. Clearly there is no give and take going on here.
When I know I have changed since the initiation of the relationship, especially in verbal and behavioral exchanges with the other person, and they have not changed it may be time to walk away. Compromising is no longer an option.
When I have repeatedly requested the other to stop doing a specific behavior, and they keep doing the same behavior and you remind them , and their response is saying they have trouble remembering your request, perhaps this is a deal breaker.
If I have not been transparent about my wants/needs why would the other not be offering them? Once I realize where I was not communicating clearly and the other feels I am asking for too much, I may be able to compromise by rethinking what I am asking of them.
I can stop trying to be right. I accomplish this by listening to the other person’s opinion and belief. Listening without judgment is a great tool of compromising.
Asking inwardly is it crucial to myself to stand my ground on a certain topic or could I be willing to reflect on my expectations toward the other? If I say I am willing to compromise, and then refuse to do so, I am only showing the other I make false statements of a resolution. This is not integrity within any relationship.

In future connections with compromising I can maintain an open mind, be an active listener without judgement, and be willing to modify my expectations. However, when compromising is no longer building a bridge of a relationship of give and take, perhaps it is time to consider the value of the relationship, which may lead to walking away from it.

Key to Inner Peace: Detachment

Have you ever reflected upon attachments you hold to a person or a specific outcome of a situation? I have looked at this often in my life, and have reached repeatedly the same AHA conclusions. My unhealthy attachments are always rooted in fear, and that shadow feature I love to hate: a desire to control. I think with some people it is also an inner need to hang on and leave claw marks on the familiar. Fear, you may ask? The human being ‘s fear of afraid to lose what we have placed deep ownership upon or fear we will never get what we demand is rightfully ours to manifest into fruition.

Over the years I have made efforts to become a better version of myself, I have become vulnerable and in almost all relationships in most areas have stated what I observe in others. I will be the first to profess I am not the most diplomatic on the planet, but I am one who holds nothing back, who tells it as I see it, and who is unafraid to tell another what I like about them and what is not working for me. Recently someone who has known me for many years told me I can come across as being unkind. That perception is her assessment of my stating what I observed in her. My inner thoughts on that with anyone are two-fold. I believe our world has become filled with a collective of over sensitive people who prefer to remain in what they believe is a safe rabbit hole…who prefer not to take a deeper dive into potential authenticity sandwiched in surrendering old ideas most likely that live in the subconscious . I suspect these ideas were hammered into their belief systems by role models of authority at a young age. That was not their fault, but I also believe as functional adults we have the responsibility to find solutions to walk our talk in the present. Secondly, if we allow others to be who they are without wanting to change each other’s behaviors, perhaps we are equally able to allow ourselves to be who we really are without hidden motives and agendas..to release the false faces we have been demonstrating since childhood, and heaven forbid, grow up!

I wholeheartedly concede attachments play a crucial role in connections with bonds we have with friends, partners, family, and co-workers. Without attachments we would always be seeking out other people when the first symptoms of a disagreement occur. With the initial emotional attachments we have with others, we may feel safe and secure. Of course, we humans have wants and needs. Otherwise why would we not shy away from relationships? If we can be gut level honest with ourselves we might admit we don’t feel bonds, even love with another because of what the person can give or do for us. We feel unconditional love for another because of who the other is.

Attachment , the unhealthy type, can be born when we believe another can give us something we do not think we have within ourself. If we have attached to any relationship carrying the belief this person has something we think we do not have ,a conflict will probably begin when the other person is not fulfilling some of our unspoken needs. This conflict can grow because often a need for a person to fulfill unreasonable expectations for us continues to create a visible abyss between us. This abyss , if not communicated and addressed can become a gaping canyon.

Learning to detach from our dependence on another , and understanding how to meet our own needs ourself is key to creating better relationships with all kinds of people. Acceptance of each other as we are is important. However , if there are areas and subjects that are always requiring us to steer away from another due to lack of trust, invalidation, and disrespect, perhaps it is time to consider how much we really value the relationship. Ask ourself if it is a healthy attachment clothed in reciprocal respect or is it a one-sided aspect that you never even saw coming….until the day you saw a bit more honest truth can be a catalyst to ones own growth. It may be painful to become aware the other person has not changed at all…it is just you did not want to see what was shown to you by them and by your participation , perhaps from the beginning.

Unspoken Rules

I find human behavior …and my own..so intriguing. If I invite you to play a new board game and do not tell you how it is played, and we start the game with one of us not understanding the rules, I guarantee one of us will be trying to figure it out and one or both of us will be frustrated..maybe even angry . Maybe the one who was not made privy to the rules will not care that they do not know how to play, and will just make up the rules as they proceed with the game. Maybe the one who did not offer an explanation of how the game is played will get so frustrated that they just walk away , assuming the other is stupid. Maybe the one who did not know the rules will speak up and ask pertinent questions enabling them to understand what is it the other wants to happen. Maybe the one with the information of the game will resent the other for not figuring out what they believe anyone should know. Human beings sure are interesting, aren’t we?

Of course we have social norms that are unspoken, unwritten rules such as not taking or asking for the last piece of pie, leaving something better than when you found it, being kind and courteous to people working in a service position, not whispering to someone when you are in presence of a group of others, replacing toilet tissue if you used the last ply, using the rule of letting people get off the subway/public transit before you get on, never apologizing with an excuse (I am sorry, BUT….), etc. So many social rules are assumed we all are aware of instead of them being stated or written.

Then there are unspoken rules in interpersonal relationships between friends , family, and partners such as avoiding letting go of old resolved conflicts from the past by not bringing it up again, never using the other’s weakness or flaws against them, keeping things private that have been spoken in confidence to avoid the other feeling betrayed, letting them know you are on their side, giving each other and yourself personal space with alone time, avoiding your own insecurities by allowing time for them to be with their friends without you, and by all means being yourself authentically: it is crucial you do not pretend you like everything they think or do, and especially do not verbalize you do! My all time favorite : drop the desire to play the blame game to try to make them wrong so you can sanctimoniously feel right!

Setting ground rules in any relationship is important. Since there is not a rulebook, it is important to express what YOU FEEL at the onset of a relationship. If you have not done this, when things start to get hairy it is a very good idea to re-state your wants/needs and voice your deal breakers. When we do not start a relationship of any kind with boundaries and our “rules” we will experience the relationship crumbling, and we will be faced with a choice to decide how much value the relationship holds for us..and if we want to sit down in discussion with the other or not.

What I have personally observed in inefficient unspoken rules within relationships are clearly poor communications where the other person “assumes” their partner or friend knows what is expected when it has never been discussed; and, passive-aggressive , power struggles result. Not always , but usually the case exists that the reason deal breakers have not been discussed is because no talk or no communication rules exist; and/or one of the involved has allowed the unacceptable behaviors to continue without opening their mouth to say it is unacceptable or uncomfortable. Healthy disagreements within any relationship are part of a growing relationship. When a resolution cannot be reached, perhaps it is time to walk away into the sunset without guilt or remorse even if a long history between you has been your experience. Even with that choice, would you use one of your unspoken rules and just walk away or would you voice what you have decided to do?