I spent much energy and thought on how my life could be better. At some points I thought it would be better if I had more of this or that. Then at other times I was sure if I had less ..less stuff, less responsibilities, less thinking, less time to get it all done in what was left of my life. When I became part of the world changing due to a repetition of something the past world before my time had already experienced , and (was yet again being given another opportunity to become willing to do a re-set) I thought just maybe I needed to be doing my life differently. I kept hearing in my mind: STOP trying to figure it out. STOP judging the outcome. STOP needing to know how it or anyone will turn out, act, cope, or look while experiencing this game called life.
When businesses closed and the world slowed to a crawl I had a choice as did everyone…slip into complete anxiety and fear or glide into stillness and reflection. I did the former first but only for a little while. Stillness in nature invited me to join Her on a new adventure. Being in quietude for hours and days at a time with Nature was quite different. I want you to Know that I had been meditating for a few decades, hanging out in woods and forests, went on personal retreats yearly, and had journaled since I was 7 years old. This, though was different. I asked myself what if this re-set was just about my discovering I could live an amazing life without needing a book or the rules and steps to do so? Where did that idea come from anyway and what did it matter in the first place?
One solution which has been present in my life as long I can remember is what I call probing. I probe by asking myself questions. The question that helps me the most is this one: What brings me the most joy and what am I passionate about? Easy, peasy: It is creativity. When I am not being creative I feel like one of the un-dead zombies. Way back in the sixties people talked about creative visualization. I remembered if I could create in my mind and picture myself actually bringing to life situations using my imagination, I always felt better. I did this as a kid lying in the grass on my back talking to clouds and trees, creating little beings or big ones out of shadows. I today call this magic. Creativity opens our minds, solves problems, and puts us right in the center of living in the present moment!
My next probe came out of magical creativity. I asked myself what if there were no limits to what I could create, and furthermore, what if I began creating this magical life without boundaries and did not care who judged me for doing it? One of the fears I had carried around since childhood was a fear that people judged me because they did not approve of not only my magical creations but did not approve of my choices and basically did not approve of who I was! Once I really got this in a midnight light bulb moment, I began surrendering …I surrendered in bits and pieces the need to know what people were going to think about me (and of course most kept that judgment to themselves …and perhaps I would not have even known how I was being judged if it had not been for the fact that my creativity was sandwiched in between my strong intuition !) My intuition blasted out to me who the judgers were. For a while this brought up my being uncomfortable in my own skin. I did not want to believe The Who that was shown to me. You see, though, my love and passion for creativity by now had bled into every area of my life, and the need to be creative became stronger than allowing those judging me based on their unresolved inner self conflicts which were being projected onto me! I was now seeing the inequality of different relationships . It was not that I was mad or even disappointed with those I had tolerated . I was just over it. I walked away from many. I knew I could create equal areas in all my life..not just in a few areas! Then the big news awakened me and made my heart sing loudly upon the realization. Knowing what I loved (creative magic) had led me down a pathway I never knew was possible. New partnerships and friendships emerged.
Magic happens to those who believe in it. Way back when I was only using my imagination to create beings from shadows I was being led to embrace a new way of living, a new way of being. When we set the intention (and intention I believe is 99.9% of manifestations) to live an amazing life, and we focus on that repeatedly( even in spite of fears swirling around in our bellies) the Universe will match us, and our internal intentions become external truths.
I ask you now Do you want to live an amazing life? What makes your heart sing and are you willing to do that thing 24/7 ? Try it for one week and see what happens. What do you have to lose?
Jaguarwind 