I learned from an early age to pay attention to the body language and energies of those around me. Like many of us I grew up in a dysfunctional world in households of mixed messages. However, I was clueless that what I thought were great communication skills on my part were only instinctual protective measures of reactions and mental judgements of what was being said in conversations. Instead of being present and truly listening to another I was projecting my preconceived opinions, “brilliant ideas” , defending arguments, and planning my communicative comeback statements.
When I became aware of how I truly listened…highlighted in patterns and significant relationships in which I never felt heard, I was shocked! After I accepted my truth and forgave myself for being a selfish, self-centered listener, I began re-programming my ability and willingness to become an awakened, conscious, conscientious listener. It took some time and intentions to change on my part.
I first had to cultivate a deep inner quiet atmosphere so I could turn off my mental chatter. Then came a desire to being openly humble to the person speaking to me, to not just hearing their words but to be in acceptance and understanding of their emotional state in the moment of their communication with me.
As I began viewing each person as my teacher, teaching me only about myself, my transformation began unfolding. I was actually listening with my heart. The more I listened with my heart, the more often those same relationships with different faces whom before I felt never heard me, walked out of my life because I no longer needed their teaching me what they came to mirror!
When we allow our ego to step aside, when we become willing to open to the truth and feelings of another especially those different from whom we think we are, we magically open a Divine Connection with each other!
Connections are Heart Opening Blessings . I am so glad I am still teachable!
Beautifully said Jennye. Being a good listener takes some practice but it is worth the effort. When we are really present with someone, it is a priceless gift.
Thank you, Raven1