Reflecting on how I presented myself in my young years I see a shy kid who from a young age felt like I did not fit in..not in my family , not with my schoolmates , not with my friends. I did know I was aware of things most others were not; however I was still clueless about intentional sovereignty! Intentional sovereignty refers to the inner conscious decision and action to claim our own authority. I still was allowing external social/peer pressures to have influence over my thoughts leading to life decisions and choices. At times I was in search of validation from others instead of trusting my gut feelings to align with my core values! Not only that, I was so empathic that I took in every emotion /feelings of anyone I came into contact with. Those moments I experienced instant gratification when I did not listen to my true self within just to feel like I was fitting in only left a hole in my soul!
I cannot tell you the date or time I completely embraced my amazing uniqueness because it came in spurts throughout my adulthood. At times I claimed and expressed my courage and proudly stood as my real self, not caring what anyone thought. However, still there were those conflicting periods in my life I stuffed my authentic being , denying who I really was , deep inside me. In those times I showed up in denial of the true Me in my family relationships, in romantic partnerships, in friendships, and in various employment roles. Because I was in so much conflict within myself I used distractions of many kinds and addictions of many things to try to make me feel functionally real. Why you may ask did I and many hide our true self until it begins disappearing from even ourselves? My belief is that we choose what we think is the safest route to follow not because we are afraid of our true identity , but because we are afraid of being judged and rejected by others!
I can honestly tell you there did come an awakening for me when I was cracked wide open as I rose from the fire burning within and made the conscious decision to claim my own authority and show the entire world who I really am. From that cracking open I emerged with a fierce curiosity and wonder presenting to the world the living mantra: “I have finally arrived!” I will tell you there are times every once in a while that little Fear Girl who still lives within my belly will attempt to make up stories which are only fueled by self doubt, and if I were to allow those minuscule moments to dwell, I might try to return to the old Me. However, because I today have solutions and tools that work, I am able to put my compassionate arms around that Fear Girl and show her evidence there is no reason to hide anymore!
Should you be searching for some possible solutions for owning, claiming, and embracing your True, Authentic Self here are some ideas you may choose to try:
-Reflect on you at age 4 or 5. What did you crave and love to do? This can be a clue to your passions and a big awareness of how you can express them in your current life. My 4 year old loved the protection and amazing co existence of trees, clouds, water, and all things Nature.
-Write down at least 5 things you value. Journal daily how/when/where you show evidence you are experiencing those values. Pay attention to evidence you are allowing anyone or yourself to block those values from being active.
-Create a practice to walk hand in hand with your Courage. Draw a picture of what Mr. or Mrs. Courage looks like. Then practice using your Courage-Being to face your doubts and fears. Courage is surrounded in Light which will illuminate Truth over stories you make up that are only false illusions.
-Step outside of yourself and observe YOU. Observe how you react or how you respond to challenges that appear in your life. Over time you will become aware of which evidence of your true self vs your false self is running your show. Choose more experiences to use your true self in all situations. This technique over time empowered me to start being the same within all settings , not playing different roles with different situations and people!
-Once you discover life long beliefs and patterns of behavior that really are not working, choose to surrender them . Visualize those old ideas, thoughts, emotions that are no longer serving your Highest, Best Good on virtual Hot Air Balloons, being lifted into the Winds of Transformation as you Express Inner Gratitude for letting them go.
Honor that it takes time to create, develop, and claim your True Self. Make it a point to be a Self Truth-Teller instead of a Fearful Story-Teller to ourselves and to others. Knowing saying No, to choose and express when you cannot/will not do something; knowing you do not know how this or that will turn out; knowing and expressing your and others’ flaws with imperfections are acceptable by your True Self and all are amazing !
Finding your life purpose is closely aligned with Knowing your True Self. Open yourself to your Real and Authentic Self, and you just might find your life purpose!
“If you don’t know who you truly are, you’ll never know what you really want” -Roy T. Bennett
“It takes courage to grow up and be who you really are” -E. E. Cummings
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