We humans since birth have carried a need to feel appreciated, feel connected, to be heard, and to be validated. In addition, animals and all living things carry the seed of needing connection. Connection is the thread that binds us, the invisible thread we each crave that confirms we are not separate entities because we are really One. Oneness cannot be faked. Connection with the living world is the solution. Disconnection is the problem.
I believe the majority of people think real authentic connections can only exist if we are good enough, kind enough, and giving enough. Isn’t that what religions taught from Day 1….instilling fear of being forever punished if we do not meet those criteria?
I propose that if we are willing to be vulnerable, to show up in community and for each other, to extend our hand and hugs , to not give up because we have been hurt, but to open ourselves again and repeatedly as active participants in living life as it unfolds instead of trying to be in control of how we and others are supposed to behave as if we had a copy of a script to live by.
Not only did we become disconnected from each other, many of us also have been disconnected from ourselves! Then we carried that disconnect to being disconnected with the one facet we need so much: a connection with Nature!
How did we become disconnected? We may have been children who expressed the curious wonder of life only to be told by a parent , teacher, or others that we were being silly, not focused on what is important, and as a result not valued. We tried to live our lives molded from values or ideas taught by our caregivers but are no longer sure we actually believe those ideas anymore…but we continue to live out of taught ideas that compromise our core present values! We have bought into the fears that someone else has a better way of living life fully and we try to copy what we perceive they are doing only to subconsciously know this is not who we really are! We grew up in a culture or family being told how we were supposed to act in multi areas and when we were rewarded with approval through love and acceptance by others for doing these things we were still discontent because inwardly we knew we were living the life of someone who was not the person we were! We created a series of mantras and stored them in our subconscious brain and used them as a whipping post of self punishment ( I should be…. If I were worthy I would be doing…….. If I were more like …… I would be successful, etc.) The result :DISCONNECTION from self and relatiionships.
How do we re-connect now and find inner peace and happiness ? Begin by setting the intention to listen to our body and our thoughts without judgement. Watch our feelings just float by as if on puffy clouds in the sky. No need to do anything with feelings and thoughts…just observe and notice. Connect back with ourself by participating in calming activities such as walking in nature, doing creative little things such as coloring-drawing-writing; Listen to music that feels great; Notice how you feel during these times. Create a self love and self compassion practice. Ask: what can I do right now that gives me evidence I am loving myself more? Once we have reconnected with ourself, we can extend this feeling to connecting with others.
Reconnect with others by communicating wants and needs with vulnerability. Present your true self not your false self who has thought you knew what someone else expected of you. Allow your radiant self to shine and accentuate your true personality. Life is not a test! Embrace the joy and pleasure of being who you are! Assess if you keep connecting with others who truly are not resonating with you or you with them. Let them go. This is the best use of disconnecting. Once we are living our true selves, other like hearted souls will show up!
Lastly, reconnect with nature. It is well researched and documented that the effects of nature upon human beings cause deep flourishing aspects to us each socially, psychologically, and emotionally. It will help each of us to cultivate and expand our creativity, resilience, and calm our anxious nervous systems! We need nature . Nature connections will create new neural pathways in our brains, release years of stress, and awaken our sense of belonging . Remember we are One!
Connections are the great solution and disconnections are the blocks.