I learned long ago that Nature is the greatest teacher. Watching a willow bend but not break is an observation that frequently inspires me to encompass the quality of resilience. I did not always understand what it meant to be resilient. There were times when I was younger that I had to learn that accepting being taken for granted or disrespected had nothing to do with being resilient. Some of those hard awakenings centered around a belief that if I persisted through challenges such as being treated unfairly, being criticized frequently and undervalued from a supervisor, a job, or a dysfunction-junction relationship(partnership or friendship) I would one day find the inner strength to get through each situation I found myself in. Actually I was being a victim, and was unaware of it! I observe many who also are practicing exactly the opposite of resilience by dwelling on the problem, feeling overwhelmed and stuck with no real solution to get out of the situation, and acting out of emotional dysregulation with anger and acting impulsively. Furthermore it seems in the world there are quite a few who wait in yearning to cling to those moments of instant gratification and often do not have a clear sense of purpose .
When I began understanding how the ancient cultures and wise sages of Rome, Greece, Egypt, and Buddhists offered teachings of resilience principles of acceptance, impermanence, and simple practices, I decided to find a way to apply these ideas into action that would help me in all my relationships and situations. First I needed to develop a mindset that resilience was not simply enduring challenges presented to this thing called my life! It involved components of how to learn from past and present experiences, recovering from what I called failures that seemed to push me back to Square One, and really showed me a new way to become internally stronger!
Some of these Ancient Teachings I began utilizing were: 1. Accepting what is out of my control by controlling how I respond rather than futile attempts to control the conditions of external situations; looking at what I COULD control was helpful .2. Knowing inwardly that all things ebb and flow with constant changes began helping me work through the ups and downs of those monkey wrenches life threw at me. 3. Keeping a written documentation (i.e. a journal) of how I was responding or perhaps when I chose reacting to any potential challenge I faced helped me to learn from my own experiences! 4. Cultivating and practicing non-attachment to expectations I previously carried of others and myself ; and non-attachment to my material possessions and to releasing possible outcomes I wanted opened portals to a different, almost magical refreshing way to live my life! 5. Choosing to take the time to write a gratitude list daily of the basic pleasures of life such as sitting down to a meal I cooked with the lighting of a candle at the table, smiling as a tiny sparrow enjoyed the seeds it found on the Earth, and nurturing those relationships meaningful to me by investing time to create memories of companionship together 6. Acknowledging and often reflecting on my core values to determine what really matters and what I claim to be of importance to me 7. Embracing the concept of not needing to know how /who/when/what was coming in the future ..just letting it unfold before me as the magical life appears to and with me! Letting go of my prior Future-Tripping mindset was crucial!
I have discovered when I actively and continually create the SuperPower of resilience using the wisdom of Ancient Ones who lived before I not only become a better version of myself but I am more able to wear that internal cloak of Strength in times of challenges. The challenges never stop coming my way…I just now have ways to cope with them that do not cause me to be a victim to them!
“The willow submits to the wind and prospers until one day it is many willows–a wall against the wind.” -Frank Herbert (Dune)
“A diamond is just a lump of coal that stuck to its job” -Leonardo da Vinci
Jaguarwind 