Release Yourself From Who You Think You Are Supposed To Be

It took me a long time to become free. I was not physically locked in a cell ; however, I had the expectations of others thrust on me. I do not remember asking my parents, my teachers or society who I was supposed to be or what role as a female I was supposed to be living. I believe the indirect messages I received early in life entered my mind and slithered into my subconscious reptilian brain. I am the middle sibling in my family of origin and the only female. There were unspoken rules for males and for females; such as the guys could go places by themselves but chicks were supposed to be safe/protected and not do that. The guys did not have to pick up after themselves but females not only were supposed to be tidy but also pick up the dropped clothing and dirty dishes off the table for the guys. I was never a people pleaser but I learned early in my life part of taking care of others included telling others what to do so they would be happy (based on my ideas, not theirs). I let boys cheat off my work even in elementary school because I was intelligent and I did not want them not to get an equal grade as I would receive. I have been highly intuitive and a visionary since birth, but no one that I remember in my developmental years, honored that I knew things others did not perceive and I always had special gifts of a sixth sense . I am not sure if people told me I was weird and strange but I surely felt I was ,so I learned early to hide my talents that were different from the inborn abilities my peers and even older kids had. The story of who I was supposed to be that lived in my subconscious mind played this scene repeatedly:

* I had to be super responsible and do things for others..not so they would like me but because I was supposed to be the one who performed the actions for them . * When I was on a job I would help everyone do their job in addition to my responsibilities because I was supposed to be helpful. * I had to be serious because serious people got things done. * I had to be a hard worker because hard workers get ahead and being productive wins the prize of life *I was always trying to help the underdog because I thought they were given an unfair lot in life and it was my job to show them how to crawl out of the holes society had put them in.

Even though I heard these ideas and even bought them hook, line, and sinker..deep within where I believe the Divinity and the “Wise Person Within” lived , I knew something did not make sense. I walked through life with this conflict..Being who I thought society and those I put in Authority roles over my own Sacred Authority gave me indirect and direct messages and the internal wisdom of truth that I repeatedly stuffed inside of myself . I stuffed the truth through distractions, workaholism, addictions of many types, and looking for “stray dogs in the form of human beings who I was sure needed my guidance and control”.

I cannot tell you the age I was when I began crawling out of my internal conflict living inside of myself, when I began owning my OWN authority, when I began to believe that being who I thought I was supposed to be made absolutely no sense. I can tell you I was an adult when I literally emerged from a cocoon of illusion and discovered a set of beautiful wings that had laid flat on my shoulders all my life ..wings that were made of light and freedom that unfolded before my curious and amazed eyes!

In order for any of us , male or female, to come bursting out of our self imposed cell of illusion I believe it is necessary to look the fear squarely in the eye. What fear you may ask? The deep rooted fear that holds us hostage from expressing our true selves is our problem! The bond we may still be attached to with our original caregivers, with what we think society demands and expects of us, and with our current or past partners is a direct belief of our survival as a person. We believe to break out of that closed, shadowy box we are lying in along with expectations (real or perceived) that others thrust upon us will result in all and everyone rejecting us and throwing us away. How do we break out from who we think we are supposed to be?

It will and does start with mustering courage. Trust me, I know this is scary! However, when we each become willing to see our truths that have been hidden from ourselves, when we finally find our inner voice that speaks to our shadow lying in that locked box of mistruths , the more we put on the shining suit of courage and uncover the golden treasure of allowing not only ourselves but everyone to see who we really are, our wings will begin unfolding. Codes will show up in capital letters on those wings with the messages of vulnerability, happiness, and joy as we express both internally and externally the person we were meant to be all along! Those fears of rejection, shame, denial, and criticism in the form of daggers thrown by others will gradually and completely disappear. They will disappear because we will no longer have space to listen or believe anyone who does not accept the WE who we really are. The best evidence is we will not have space to dis -believe it ourselves because we finally know in our heart of hearts this is who we deserve to be and honor our own core values. As we spread those wings of authenticity we will smile inwardly and outwardly because we will know who we really are, be who we really are, and share our real self with others.

“Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken”- Oscar Wilde

“Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen” – Brene Brown