Many moons ago a person of wisdom told me about the Sacred Mirror. This mirror says when we are in the presence of someone who exemplifies and demonstrates traits we love about ourselves , we instantly like that person and want to continue a connection with them. On the other side of the coin when we are in the presence of someone who shows by their actions similar characteristics we despise, loathe, or do not love in ourselves we immediately want to walk away and never look back at that person. Our ego, naturally, will not want to acknowledge those personality flaws we cannot stand in another are equally present in ourselves. I have long held this theory that we choose intimate relationships to teach us more about us as we carry the false belief that the other has some hidden knowledge of aspects we do not have, and our unawakened self believes being in a relationship with that person will guarantee we can learn and embrace the ingredient that is missing in us!

When we meet others where they are at without a need to judge or want them to be some version we demand them to be, we are utilizing empathy, compassion, and acceptance. Practicing this skill is affirming and validating we are honoring and respecting the other person for exactly where they currently are in their life! Not carrying out this practice is a form of the desire to control another as we live out of the mantra: ” If you will only do and act as I want you to, then I will be happy; and, unless I am happy with your behaviors, I will try to manipulate and change you.”

Our internal awareness, for most of us, has not processed and had the Lightbulb moment that we are not meeting ourselves where we are at! We put pressure on ourselves to be perfect and our judgement of others is actually our self denial of unresolved issues of our wounded self who is only projecting inner feelings of inadequacy, insecurity , and being unlovable in the moment.

When we accept sometimes we and others are only willing to take baby steps to change and evolve to a better version of themselves…or at times not willing to do any of the inner work it takes to change our acceptance is showing compassion and empathy toward another and even ourselves.

Instead of telling our inner selves we are broken, beyond repair when we can give ourselves a break by self talking to our inner child and inner adult that we may not be where we want to be but we can have hope and faith we will get there when we do our inner work and/or work with a coach or therapist. Mindfulness meditation, practicing self love and self compassion activities are each valuable solutions . When we are ready , we can choose to inventory where we are at and what we would like to change that is blocking our inner peace. Reaching out to the members of our tribe we trust, finding professional help, and creatively designing new ways to replace old ways of living life all are beneficial.

The more we are willing to meet ourselves where we are at, the greater the likelihood of meeting others where they are at without our need to judge will manifest, and all our relationships and connections will benefit and thrive.

“Let go of who you think you should be in order to be who you are. Be imperfect and have compassion for yourself. Connection is the result of authenticity.”- Brene Brown

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨