Finding Comfort With The Unknown Of Uncertainty

My oldest memory was growing up in an old farmhouse with hardwood floors. During daylight hours I loved playing among Mimosa and Pine Trees, finding treasures in the creek of shiny pieces of mica and periwinkles. However, nighttime seemed to create an atmosphere of scary thoughts as I lay in my bed in the dark listening to the invisible steps on hardwood floors of creaking sounds, and my big eyes watching and listening to the closed closet door in case something jumped out to get me! My solution was to cover my head and pull the menagerie of stuffed animals closer to me for protection. I imagine I was making up my fear experience moving from the safe feeling of my parents saying good night to me, turning out the lights, and my inexperience of dealing with the uncertainty of the dark. Then on the other hand I have memories of Christmas mornings and the excitement that proceeded running downstairs to discover the unknown presents and my filled stocking left for me! Uncertainty varied from fear to excitement even in my early childhood!

It is presently being revealed to me an awareness that in the Human Experience we each have situations of uncertainty that can produce either fear and anxiety or excitement and pleasant surprise depending on how we respond to each situation. Both come down to having a lack of control. Studies have shown that not everyone reacts and responds to the uncertainty of the unknown in the same way or even on the same level. For some uncertainty creates great anxiety, and even can manifest in believing danger is inevitable . The questions start slowly, then escalate: Will my routine medical test show I have a fatal disease? Will the person I love be there for me under all conditions ? Is my friend mad at me and that is why they did not immediately answer my text? Will we enter another war because of the changes in the leaders of our government? Will I lose all my savings? Am I safe with the world like it is? It goes on and on! For many the the anxious mentality demands to know what is coming with details of when, how, what, and will we even survive through what is coming!!

Then there are others who seem to go with the flow, being comfortable in their skin, even when uncertainty is rampant, even when their little Fear Boy or Girl shows up internally. Is it possible we could each live our lives a different way and find new patterns of coping with not knowing how situations of uncertainty will play out? Pretending uncertainty does not exist , I believe, is not the answer. I will tell you lately I have been mostly calm even though the whole world seems off balance. As I reflect back to that little girl I was in my dark bedroom hoping my stuffed animals would protect me and not sure at all that they even could, I am assessing how is it that I am feeling comfort with the unknown? Here are some things I have embraced that seem to be working most of the time.

• Every morning I start by doing a meditation after I get grounded with my feet connecting with the Earth. Sometimes the meditation is a grounding meditation. When in the past I started my day ungrounded I become scattered, not able to focus, feeling overwhelmed.
• I set the intention to surrender to the unknown and uncertainty. I ask myself am I now willing to embrace and accept the unknown. The answer has always become YES. I then decide and make a choice by tapping into the wise person who lives inside of me, and own/claim my internal Power to remember who I really am. I light morning candles every morning along with my surrender intention and connect with the Light.
• No matter what monkey wrench the Universe throws at me, I make it a priority to look for the silver lining and the opportunity. If that old fear starts creating a shadow of doubt, I pause and start my day over. I don’t have to be perfect. I remind myself I have a different choice . This is a change in perception I can always use.
• When faced with not knowing what the next right to do is because of uncertainty, I take three deep breaths and ask myself what do I have control of right now. It might be I can go for a walk. I can go to the gym. I can make a healthy snack or meal. I can wear my favorite shirt. I can call a friend.
• I see the magic in every situation. My old way was to automatically jump into seeing the awfulness of every situation and create stories to scare myself even more. When I look for the magic , magical things happen. I have come to believe I can rise above any fear my Lizard Brain conjures up and I ask always: Is that really true? Is that really how this story is going to play out? Who told me that?
  • Finding comfort with the unknown has the possibility to allow us each to continue to pursue our dreams, to share our insights and offer help to another , and to live with a purpose. We are in this thing called life together ,and together we can rise above our fears. Share what you find that works in your world, and it just might inspire someone else to pay it forward too!
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“Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.” – John Allen Paulos