It has taken me long periods of practice to journey that long distance: the one from the head to my heart of understanding and accepting how to nurture and create authentic connections . I believe all human beings, rather introverted or extraverted, have a craving for connections with others. Just being with other people does not automatically guarantee we have genuine bonds that fill our needs. Scientific and psychological research has proven that we each need to have connections in which we have reciprocal relationships where we are seen, heard, and valued so we can share our thoughts and feelings for the purpose of not feeling alone in the world. It seems to me that social media has many times replaced other types of interactions in which our need to feel joy, camaraderie , intimacy, and support when going through challenges of life has taken a back burner in our human experience.
My experience is my choice to reach out to connect with others has required courage on my part. Being vulnerable with another does not take away the initial feelings of anxiousness with butterflies in my stomach flying around but over time with practice I have come to feel safe and comfortable with those special friends and kindred spirits. However, in order to enjoy these relationships it has been necessary to discover who I really am..not the false sense of me who had different roles with different people or the inauthentic me who felt she had to wear a mask to fit in. It seems most likely until we know the internal and external authentic “real” us we will not be able to align with others who will always have our back. When we know really who we are, we know beyond a shadow of a doubt what is important to us.
Only after owning my self authenticity have I been able to move forward with my internal intentional choices of the kinds of personal relationships I desire and weeding out who is not worthy to be part of my tribe. Repeatedly I have observed that when I show up with honest intentions those with less than good intentions usually sooner more than later walk out the exit door of my life.
Of equal importance is allowing myself to be vulnerable in my relationships. By my opening the door of vulnerability I am creating an atmosphere for the other to also be open. This is how trustworthy authentic connections are formed and maintained.
Demonstrating evidence we are worth the nurturing investment as we set intentions to understand, share honestly, and support each other in all areas of our lives adds to our self esteem as we establish and grow together in lasting bonds with those we honor and respect. Creating authentic connections and releasing the inauthentic ones continues to flavor my human condition with a deeper sense of meaning and belonging.
Jaguarwind 